


Ghost from your past gonna jump out at me

by Sukie_Kagamine



Category: High School Musical (Movies)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Anxiety, Basketball, Break Up, Canon Gay Relationship, Car Accidents, Dancing, Dancing and Singing, Dark Past, Depression, Eating Disorders, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, First Crush, Future Fic, Gay Sex, Getting Back Together, Gun Violence, Loving Parents, M/M, Matter of Life and Death, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Physical Assult, Post-Betrayal, Protective Siblings, Recovery, Reunions, Revenge, Self-Harm, Shooting Guns, Stabbing, Tears, Waiting, homophobic parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-04 22:20:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 70,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14602938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sukie_Kagamine/pseuds/Sukie_Kagamine
Summary: Neither of them expected the other to change so much from the last time they met, which was ten years ago.





	1. Of the glorious past and the painful present

**Author's Note:**

> Falling for Chad/Ryan a decade after the movies is terrible.  
> I'm not a native English speaker, and this is the first time I write something in full English, unbeta-ed, so please be gentle on me  
> *Title is the lyrics from Ours - Taylor Swift

Chad sat into the table with toast in his mouth and coffee in one hand. The other, he used it to open the laptop and turned it on to briefly check through his facebook messages to see if Troy said anything yet. They had a video call last night: him, Troy and Gabi, to chat about things as they usually do. 

 

It's been more than ten years since they graduated from high school where Troy and Chad first met Gabriella, but they're still in touch: visiting every weekend and chat almost everyday. They shared lots of things about their lives, how the college life in California was, how the new basketball team was, how far Gabi had gone with her study at Stanford and of course, after collage, their marriage. 

 

And not just the happy news, but all the ups and downs, all the little things in their lives, they shared it with Chad and he felt like they have become more than just friends: they're his family. Even when they're million miles apart: The couple decided to stay there after graduated and raised their own family.

 

Gabi and Troy were so close that they are the only ones from high school Chad is still in touch with, and know about how his life changed after U of A. 

 

Chad sipped his coffee and bit into his toast as he looked into the text. The truth is, his eyes were just lingering into some empty void while memories came back to him like continous tidal waves swept all over his heart. He got into the U of A with a basketball scholarship proud in his hand, a great great dream about getting into the NBA in his heart, and every effort to be a professional basketball player in his body. He had been believing that his fate is to be with the sport ever since the first day he tried it, and his feeling for the freaky orange ball never changed since then.

 

He tried so hard for it that most people only see him as an ape that knew nothing but basketball all his childhood and teenage years, but he never paid attention to their words. Mostly because winning all the time was damn cool. 

 

He had truly believed that in the future, he will end up in some famous team, challenging all of the other top basketball teams around the world, and become a professional star. Until the coach of the Red Hawks - the U of A basketball team - told him that he wasn't tall enough to be in the NBA.

 

It was shocking, frustrating and terrifying to him. His future crumbled beneath his feet as fury, pain and disappointment swell in his stomach. 

 

If it was because of his lack of skills, he could change it. If it was because of his lack of experience, or effort, or strength, flexibility, or anything, he could change it. And he would. But this is just something that can't ever be changed, and he hated the world for it.

 

He hated how unfair the universe was to him. He hated the stupid people that never tried half as hard as him but were somehow even closer to his dream than he will ever be. He even hated his own parents for giving him this useless body. And he hated himself, first for not being good enough for basketball, and second for being so stupid to choose this to be his passion in the first place.

 

His life turned up side down after the atrocious event. He couldn't control his rage and hatred, smashing and crushing everything in sight, screaming at the top of his lung furious roars, and at the end, he collapsed into a crying heap on the bed. He cried for days, weeks even, didn't eat, only drank to keep the water level in his body high enough for him to continue crying. He wrapped himself in the blanket like an oversized catepillar. 

 

His parents, his little sisters, his Red Hawk teammates and his friends tried to sooth him, but the only ones who succeeded were Troy and Gabi. They used both words and actions to bring him out of his room to the daylight, out of his bottomless pit of self pity to continue living. It also took tons of effort for them to keep him there. They ran out of words about not giving up, when a door closes another door opens, and new opportunities other than basketball, so they just silently stayed by his side, keeping him fed and gave him a shoulder.

 

After a long period of time, he finally stopped mourning, and slowly but surely, came back to something almost identical to his old self.

 

He said sorry to his family for lashing out on them, got a bear hug and laughs of joy for it. He cleaned the room, took a shower and cut off his ridiculously long hair. 

 

He now has his own apartment, a job at an office and is able to feed, and take care of himself. He still can't find any happy thing in his life, but the pain faded, and he is satisfied with what he has. 

 

He doesn't want to remember anything that has a connection to his basketball memories, so high school old friends and reunions were out of his life. He doesn't want anyone to feel sorry for him, because he is fed up with people's pitiful look and frowns upon him. Troy and Gabi were different, so they're the only ones still here. He doesn't have to feel ashamed and disappointed of himself around them.

 

Last night, they offered him a vacation to some mountains since they had come back to Albuquerque for a few days - he just couldn't get the name in his head - a camping and hiking trip for a whole week. It's summer, after all, and they all deserved some time for themselves. 

 

His work at the office had been dreadful and he was so sick of sitting all day in the cubicle with the computer in front of him that he agreed to the invitation before they even finished it. He hated the job, but still gave a hundred percent of himself to it, since he got no family, no wife and children staying at home waiting for him, just an empty, dark apartment, and he rather be at a boring building but with people, than come home on time just to watch TV and eat pizza. So there would be no problem if he asked for a couple of days off to be with his friends. To be honest, he was sure the boss would be please to see him actually have a life for himself other than work at the office. 

 

A ting came from the laptop stopped his line of thoughts: Troy finally replied! The feeling of excitement, a long lost emotion blared in him as he read the message.

 

Troy gave him all the information about the trip: the date, the time, the place and everything he needed to bring along. Thank god, Gabi had all the food ready for all of them. He wouldn't know what to do if he had to bring something other than takeouts. And below those, he saw some more words. 

 

A surprise. Troy said there will be a surprise for him when they met him at the starting point.  
This should add more to his excitement, but something inside telling Chad to prepare himself for it. Not the good kind of prepare. Troy... Most of his surprises were never pleasing.

 

But still, Chad told himself that the trip will be a wonderful time for him, that's for sure, and nothing in the world can change that. He might just be a little paranoid.

 

So he texted a thumb up to Troy, turn of his laptop and left for work, humming a happy tune on his way.


	2. Of first crushes and break ups

Chad knew there was something bad about that "surprise". He cursed under his breath as he wandered around looking for Troy, tried his best not to run into anyone he knew. It was rather difficult, since he was the best friend of the hottest guy among them at the time.

 

He was stuck in the most awkward high school reunion of all time, at least for him. Surrounded him were all of his friends from East High, the basketball team, the cheerleaders, even the chemistry club and the drama club. A lot of them recognized him, waved him hello and came closer to ask him about every single thing happened in the time he disappeared from the face of the Earth. Their Earth.

 

This was exactly what he feared and tried so hard to get out of the last ten years. He'd never told anyone the real reason he didn't want anything to do with his high school relationships, which was because he hated being reminded of his imperfections, his failure in basketball, but he couldn't expect Troy would do something like this.

 

He and Gabi invited anyone they know from East High to the vacation that Chad thought there was only the three of them. And they were going to start getting to the mountain any minute now, on a freaking yellow school bus. What an amazing way to sink back into your teenage years one more time.

 

Chad answered the questions thrown at him with a plastic smile and a lazy wave, got out of the embraces as quickly as possible and kept looking everywhere for the one responsible for this and making him pay. He had to do something before he was forced into a situation where he had to spill all the pathetic events he went through in his life. Imagine all the pitiful look, all the fake tears rolled down the cheerleaders' cheeks. God, there was no way he could get back from this. He felt terribly betrayed.

 

"Hey there." A voice, so painfully familiar, rang in his ears, and he just wanted to run away screaming.  
But instead of that, he clumsily turned around to the source of the voice, and forced the best smile out of his mouth.

 

"Hey..." 

 

The sight of the other person just simply shut down Chad's brain. The memories flashed back behind his mind like he was about to die. 

 

So now basketball seemed to be just a pale tiny spot of bad feeling inside him. The one standing in front of him however, is a giant splash. His first real crush, or say, the first real love of his life, was facing him with a gentle smile. 

 

Ryan Evans. The one person in the world that brought out the homosexual guy in Chad. Other people just have to put up with the asexual guy.

 

Ryan's appearance changed so much from how Chad remembered him, but the same things that used to make his heart fluttered didn't go anywhere. He's not the skinny, boyish, cinnamon roll teenager he was in high school anymore. So much taller, shoulder broadened, taunt muscles and narrow hips are now in the place. 

And the first thing that came into Chad's view was his bright pink hair. It was different, but somehow summed up perfectly the Ryan he knew. 

 

Those sparkling ocean blue eyes under his still blond, long and thick eyelashes sent Chad straight back to the time they were still dating in senior year. And the unique shape of his lighter shade of pink lips and his warm smile made Chad's heart drop into his stomach.

 

"You still remember me, don't you?" Ryan raised his eyebrows, his lips curled into a smirk.

 

Chad bit his tongue. "Of course, Ry. Just...caught off guard." He nervously added. "Sorry for taking so long to answer."

 

Ryan laughed and god, why did he have to make Chad's head explode every second, "It's alright. I'm surprised too, you know. It's been a long time the last time we met."

 

The painful time they broke up.

 

"Yeah, I'm...not really a fan of high school reunions. An hour ago I didn't even know any of you would be here."

 

"Having fun seeing the cheerleaders?" Ryan never stopped smiling. "They missed their star like crazy."

 

"Nah, I'm not their star. Troy is. I was actually looking for him a moment ago." He looked around.

 

"For what? To scold him for setting you up in this mess, isn't it?" Ryan had to somehow control his psychic abilities. Chad flinched violently.

 

"I..."

 

"It's okay. I understand. I had to think really hard before anytime I decided to get here. I don't like people asking questions about my life all the way and having to answer them over and over again. I just want some peace and quiet."

 

"You...do?" His eyes were wide. He thought Ryan was the extrovert kind. Party kind. Love being out with people kind.

 

The pink haired boy, man, Chad reminded himself, laughed again. He reached out to grab Chad's wrist, pulled up the strap of his backpack onto his shoulders and gently pulled him into the direction of the car starting a few feet away from them. 

 

"I suppose neither of us will have to answer anything if we sit next to each other on the bus." He looked back at Chad and blinked. "You okay with it?"

 

"Totally." He smiled back. "I've been absolutely over you for a long time now."

 

"Danforth, ever the sarcastic one." 

 

He could almost hear Ryan rolled his eyes with a smile on his lips.

 

.  
.  
.

 

Sitting next to Ryan on the bus wasn't so awkard as he expected. Ryan seemed to have forgotten about everything happened between them, the curt, blunt way their relationship at high school ended, although his words and actions towards Chad were still a bit too polite and unnatural. Chad slowly got back on his feet and got comfortable too. 

 

He desperately loved Ryan for over 2 more years after he decided to break up with him because of the distance, (come on, it's the famous Julliard of New York to his Albuquerque), but 10 years and all of the drama he had to deal with? Being with Ryan couldn't set his mind on fire anymore. Maybe a smouldering, tiny flame, but he was sure it would go away in no time.

 

The good thing is, they didn't interrogate each other like everyone else does, so it was great. People started handing around the large box of cookies Zeke brought with him, and Chad happily took one from Ryan's hand and had a bite. 

 

The traditional chocolate chip ones that melted his heart. He wondered if Zeke baked amazing pastries for him through his bad times, would he be less depressed about it and have a better life? Obviously. 

 

"God, I'm literally having an orgasm right now," Ryan moaned around the cookie in his mouth.

 

Chad laughed out loud. "Dude, ew!"

 

And Ryan laughed with him. They started talking about the memories they had related with the magical desserts made by Zeke in their high school time. Including their intimate time while they were still a couple.

 

But somehow Chad felt relaxed talking about anything with Ryan, even the memories that normally would make him nauseous by thinking of. It was cheesy, he knew, but he had the ability to link everything back to the most heartbreaking part and then feel his stomach hurled at the thoughts. 

 

Talking about it with Ryan, however, was so much less...sad. 

 

He has the same sharp sense of humor, and now even more sarcastic and bitchy that made Chad laugh. He never tried to force anything out of Chad, never tried to know about how his life went after they graduated. He just told some random funny stories about things happened at high school, and then it led them to some other thing, and some other things. They sit around talking like that for a long time until they both fell asleep.

 

Before Chad drifted off, he remembered Ryan saying something.

 

"Hey, I'm...sorry about how I left things between us." The pink haired one whispered with his gaze out the window. "Everything was so nice and then I just ruined it. It must have hurted you more than I know."

 

Chad didn't have enough coherence to even understand what Ryan said.

 

Ryan sighed and continued despite knowing the other one wouldn't be able to hear him. "It's just... I've never known a couple that can fight back and win in the battle of distance. It was so hard to stay in a relationship when you are in two different cities. Phones and internet would help, but some visual pictures and texts can't replace real sensation. I missed being with you for a long time after that, but I knew if our distance relationship continued, I had to live with that for even longer. It was selfish of me. I'm sorry, Chad."

 

The other man snored lightly as an answer, and Ryan laughed. He pulled out the thin blanket from his backpack to cover both of them, and leant his head on his arms, placed on the glass of the window.  
The trip to the mountains were long, and it would be best to rest as much as they could.


	3. Of a new dancer that doesn't dance

Chad lost the sight of Ryan and his tiny companion again. For the fifth time that morning. 

 

He should have feel annoyed, but the truth is, he was guilty more. After spending half a day with his old basketball teammates, the ones that he had been through so much with, he soon found himself talking and joking around with them cheerfully on their walk up the mountain like he did many years ago. It was not nearly as terrible as he imagined. They were still his best friends, and ten years couldn’t do anything to change who they were. 

 

And then he realized he had lost Ryan. He swore one minute ago, the pink haired boy was right next to him, with Kelsi by his side. 

 

The girl got to them as soon as the bus stopped and everyone got down, complaint about how Ryan disappeared when he promised that he would stick with her. They seemed to be so close in a freaky way, Chad decided to himself, when he saw Ryan apologised to her with his round puppy eyes, cute little pout and kissed her in the cheeks loudly. Since then, they didn’t get away from each other for even one second. Everytime Ryan got lost in a conversation with someone, Kelsi would immediately reconnected their hands and Ryan apologised again.

 

He knew Chad was staring, of course, and explained to him patiently with every words organized like he had to give the speech hundreds of times before. 

 

“We are not a couple, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He said. Chad raised his eyebrow at his hand, now completely wrapped inside of Kelsi’s tiny palm. 

 

“We’re best friends, extremely close friends.” Kelsi jumped in with her mock angry voice. “I mean, don’t you see how girls holding each other’s hands all the time and no one bats an eye, and when I hold Ryan’s hand, everybody loses their minds?”

 

“Ryan is not a girl.” Chad pointed out. 

 

“I’m gay! That makes me nothing more than a girl in a guy’s form to them.” Ryan laughed. “You of all people should have known that. Or maybe you forgot how homosexual I was?”

 

“Oh, trust me, I know that very well.” Chad muttered under his breath.

 

“Don’t think about it too much.” Ryan patted his shoulder. “I know it looks a bit weird, but she’s just worried. She’s more of a mother friend to me than a girlfriend.”

 

“Worried? What is she worried about?” Asked Chad, surprised.

 

“Nothing at all.” Ryan rolled his eyes. “Told you she’s the mother friend kind.” 

 

Suddenly, Troy and the team called Chad’s name from the other side and he turned around, distracted. When he finally stopped laughing his ass out at Jason’s joke, the two were nowhere to be seen. He let out a sigh and started to look for them after waiting for ten minutes without seeing them reappeared. He didn’t want to dessert them right when he found someone else to talk to. They were two cute little cinnamon rolls that deserved to be loved and taken care of, as Taylor said when she passed him on her way up. It would be mean to treated them that way.

 

So he looked around, asked everyone he thought might have known about where Ryan and Kelsi went, and he found himself slowly got more and more behind the group. All of them pointed to the back, so he got there, asking himself if they were wrong when there were fewer and fewer people. Finally, he found them at the very end of the group.

 

The road started to get ramp and a lot rockier than it was before now they were near the top, and even big guys like Zeke or Troy had to slow down. Ryan and Kelsi were the last of them.

 

Ryan didn’t look good even when he tried so hard to conceal it, and that made Chad wondered. He was stepping up the hard surface of the road slowly, his face serious like if he didn’t focus for one second, he would fall off some cliff. The backpack looked ten times heavier on his shoulders, sweat rolled down his face and then got wiped away immediately. His cheeks were pink, but he smiled and said he was fine everytime someone asked something, and shooed them away. His hand were held tight in Kelsi’s, and her expressions showed her concern clearly.

 

From what Chad remembered, his Ryan didn’t have to put so much effort in activities like this. He once thought the boy was a limp, weak, whiney little kid, but after seeing how well he played baseball, after spending time in a dance lesson of his with the Wildcats and finally paid some attention to him in gym class and amazed by how strong, flexible and enduring he was, Chad knew he was wrong. If Ryan had joined the school baseball team or any sports team, he would have been their star. Instead, he chose dancing, and it wasn't taken seriously by then. 

 

The Ryan Chad remembered was energetic, beaming and always moving. And the Ryan Chad is looking at right now looked like he was a hundred years older. But not in a natural way, like when someone stopped doing exercise and lost their shape. The look on Ryan's face was stoic, his lips pressed together like he was...in pain. Exhausted. It worried Chad almost as much as Kelsi.

 

They were whispering something to each other, Kelsi kept repeating some words that got Ryan more and more pissed off, and he batted her hand away when she tried to reach for his.

 

Chad quickly got over to them to get a better look at Ryan, and the smile reappeared.

 

"Hey. Look like you Wildcat finally realize you forgot something."

 

"I...yeah, I'm sorry for leaving you behind." Chad rubbed the back of his neck. 

 

"No need for that. I'm fine right where I am." Ryan continued walking, his posture changed so sudden into something so comfortable that if Chad hadn't seen how tired he was, he wouldn't have known. It's like seeing an actor stepped in front of the camera. "Just want some quiet moment to chat with Kelsi. Like she hasn't been fed up with me already."

 

Chad took a deep breath and asked directly, not bother to say anything else. "You don't look well. I'm worried about you. How are you feeling? What's going on?"

 

"Excuse me?" Ryan blinked.

 

"I saw you from over there, Ryan. You looked really tired." Chad stepped closer. "I just wanted to know if you're okay. I can tell Troy to stop for a rest if you..."

 

"No, I don't need a rest." The pink haired one cut him off grumpily. "I'm totally fine, I can climb on a freaking mountain like a grown man without a mother holding my hand, or a babysitter checking on me every once in a while. Thank you for your concern."

 

He angrily pulled his backpack up onto his shoulders and stormed up the road, not bother to listen what Kelsi tried to say behind him. Chad was just stunned. Why was he acting so weird?

 

His gaze turned to Kelsi with a silent question in it, but she was just to worried and exhausted to care. She hurried up after Ryan, leaving Chad behind with a large question mark in his head. Something's wrong, and she knew, but she didn't want to tell him.

 

.  
.  
.

 

It was dark when they decided to stop and put up their tents. It was so much fun putting up the large tents, collecting woods, making fires and arranging out the belongings to prepare the meal that Chad got his mind off Ryan for a bit, spinning around helping everyone with their job.

 

All the work sounded so simple when they said it out loud, but only when they started doing them that they realized it was hard to survive in the wild like this. The tents were the best and most modern ones they could find at Walmart, and still took a large amount of time for them to properly put them up. After a while fighting with each other about the instructions and fighting with the gadgets to find a way to make it right, thay finally finished the job in time for dinner.

 

Collecting the firewood was a little easier, but still challenging, as a piece of wood had to be both in the right size and moisture to be able to burn. The girls had to wander around for hours bringing the wood back to the tents and then had to go on another trip to find better ones. Gabi didn't seem to mind, she would go and bring back as much wood as people ask without losing her bright smile. Then they arranged the firewood into neat piles and Taylor lit them up. The fire danced happily on the wood, casting shadows all over the place.

 

And he saw Ryan preparing the meal with Zeke and someat other girls. He had actually have a good time, fooling around with Zeke's recipe and laughed at the alien colored vegetable soup. Chad made a note to himself to stay away from that.

 

The dinner was wonderful: warm and pleasant, as they exchange their experience in the day and tell horror stories around the campfire. At the end, Gabriella suggest singing, and all of them agreed.

 

All they did was playing the beat of the song on Kelsi's phone and everyone would come up and sang. Kelsi performed one of her songs with a piano app on her ipad, Gabi and Troy sang a duet together as always (Thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran), Martha made some awesome hip hop moves, and Ryan sang a song.  
It was about love, obviously. Seriously, it would be perfect for love birds like Troy and Gabriella, with all the romantic cheesy lyrics. "I am yours and you are mine, from this day til the end of my days"? What was that, some kind of wedding vows?

 

Chad had never listened to the song before.  
So he turned and asked Taylor. She elbowed him, hard.

 

"Jeez, you didn't know? He composed the song! It was one of his biggest hit!"

 

"Hit? Like... Getting on Billboards kind of hit?" Chad blinked, and got another elbow to his side.

 

"God, where were you when Ryan released a bunch of albums and became famous? Hiding under a rock?"  
"He became famous?" Well it's not very surprising, considering how ambitious he was.

 

"Yes, dear God. Here's another news for you: He got into Hollywood too. Appeared in several films already, and all of them got positive comments from critics. You truly, never, seen him on TV? Not even once? Or facebook? Internet? Anywhere?"

 

Well, no wonder he was so good at acting fine in front of Chad.

 

He slowly shook his head. Ryan had come a long way from Julliard.

 

"How about dancing? He loved it more than anything. Has he got any awards yet? Tony awards?"

 

"Tony award is for Broadway Theater, not Dancing, dummy." Taylor rolled her eyes. "He did got into a dance group, quite famous actually, touring around the world once. But I don't see him dancing anymore. He left the group before started on singing and acting. Never knew why."

 

Chad couldn't believe it. How could Ryan stop dancing all of a sudden? If there is one thing Chad can be sure of, Ryan loved dancing with all his life. His major in Julliard was dancing. He choreographed the success of the senior year show. He convinced Chad that he could dance. And Chad had never seen someone so happy to be able to dance that the whole room was lit everytime he moved his body. And he was so so good at it. The way he rolled his hips, the swift way his muscles moved... They used to make teenager-Chad hard.

 

And now... Chad looked at the man with ridiculously beautiful pink hair next to the campfire, sitting on a large rock and singing. He didn't dance. He still moves though, performing methods, but not like the way the old Ryan sang a song with full of dance movements.  
It was sad seeing something so different from what had been so deeply printed into your mind and heart. Chad didn't know why, and what happened that changed Ryan so suddenly. 

 

Another question about this mysterious new Ryan that he had in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics of "Ryan's song" was really the wedding vows from the show Game of thrones. I'm just obsessed with this show. Their wedding culture was beautiful.


	4. Of the accident that took everything

The fact that Kelsi was walking next to him now made him worried. It was strange seeing her not attched to Ryan, and it has been happening for a few days. Her pain and worry seeped into everything around her, including Chad. 

 

Ryan got mad at both of them and refused to let them come closer, but clearly Kelsi was hurt more, and Chad still couldn't understand anything. It was frustrating to see him being warm and friendly with everyone else and then cold as ice and deadly silent in a blink of an eye whenever Kelsi or Chad came around. He quickly fell back behind the group without Kelsi holding his hand, but he didn't seem to mind. He looked like he just didn't want to deal with people. 

 

Chad spent the last night in his tent shared with Jimmy The Rocket to think about Ryan. Seeing him so suddenly after more than ten years, being so different yet still the same, made his heart ache a little. He reminded Chad of all the beautiful time they were together in high school, so happy and innocent. He had been through lots of other relationships after that, but all of them were so calculating and mischievous that he was just tired. Being with him for money. Being with him for sex. None of them for the sake of emotions. 

 

He wondered if Ryan found the man of his life yet. With such a charm and hopelessly romantic soul like his, his boyfriend must be so... Chad couldn't find the word. Impeccable? Unlike Chad right now, that's for sure.

 

And he wondered what it would be like if they were still together. In a perfect world, now Ryan is a famous dancer and choreographer, Chad is a basketball star, they are still together and live a happy life. A slightly different version of what happened in high school. 

 

But Kelsi's singing voice rang in his head, "High school never meant to last forever." And the frustratingly closed his eyes. Reality is where he is living now.

 

.  
.  
.

 

Chad asked Kelsi countless of times about what made Ryan so sensitive and highly strung over the past days, but she shook her head and said he would kill her if she told anyone. Chad could see how she secretly watched Ryan over the corner of her eyes, bit her lips everytime he slowed down from a ramp road, but she stayed in a safe distance to make sure Ryan never saw her and got angry again.

 

Chad wanted to help him too, but he knew if Kelsi hadn't been able to calm Ryan down, he wouldn't have stand a chance. Everytime he tried to start a conversation, Ryan would just glare at him and not saying a word until he was gone. So he did what Kelsi did, watch every step of his from far away and screaming encouraging words in his mind when Ryan walked up the mountain by himself. 

 

Even with the sweat, the tiredness and the grumpiness, he was still gorgeous. Soft, silky pink strands of hair neatly combed to the sides, the hats from high school were nowhere to be seen, his stark white clothes that fitted impossibly perfectly with his surroundings. He had always been beautiful in white, Chad thought, since the first time they really set eyes on each other was at the baseball game where he looked like a blond Snow White. 

 

Chad didn't fail to notice after the fun all of them had last night how the girls at the drama club praised his look, how the guys once played baseball with him in Lava Springs patted him on his back and told him he looked rather fine himself. Only then Ryan cracked out his sunny grin and placed his hand on his chest, bowed politely. He blended in with the macho, loud and sloppy guys pretty well.

 

But not now, obviously, when he was the last one in line and kept getting more and more slowly. Chad didn't want to get closer, but after a few times seeing him disappeared and reappeared from the trees along the far end of the road, he had to do something before they lost Ryan. That would be a big trouble. So he stepped back despite Kelsi's effort to hold him in place, until he faced Ryan.

 

The other guy stopped walking stared up at him. "What is it now?"

 

"You are falling behind. We don't want to let you get lost."

 

"I'm fine." Ryan muttered, stepped aside and continued walking. "I'll catch up with them soon enough."

 

Chad buried down his attempt at arguing with the other guy. He wanted to tell him that with this incredible speed, there would be no way he could catch up with them, they would leave him behind without knowing it and many troubles would come with that. He also wanted to tell Ryan to stop being so stupidly stubborn and at least ask the others to wait for him, or ask someone to help him. Ask Kelsi to guide him, or Chad to carry his bags. His being such a hardass started getting old.

 

"Wait, Ry." Instead, Chad got the chance to practice all of his charisma lessons and tried to find the best words to persuade Ryan. The first trick is to make him feel close, and safe. What could be better than using their old lovey dovey pet names?

 

"What?" Ryan glared at him. "You're slowing me down."

 

"At least let me carry that backpack for you." Chad managed his softest voice, offering his hand as an olive branch. He desperately hoped that Ryan would reach for it and end this ridiculous tension between them. "We can get to them more quickly that way."

 

"Oh so now I'm a little useless crippled that needs pity from you tough and strong guy cause I just can't walk on a mountain with a fucking backpack!" Ryan snapped.

 

What was he talking about? 

 

"You know that was not at all what I meant." Chad kept his calm voice and stepped closer. He felt like he had popped a large, fuming balloon of rage, but somehow the deafening sound of it exploding brought him the clues that happened to fill in for his questions. Did Ryan just say crippled? 

 

"But everyone does." Ryan never stopped growling. "Don't pretend that you don't pity me like all of them. Poor Ryan that got into a car accident. Poor Ryan that couldn't walk without a bunch of metal rods inside his legs to prevent his bones from crumbling. We should never mention the word dance or run or jump in front of him because he would be hurt! We should never ask him to stand up to do anything, he should be over there working on the soup and not helping you with any other things including walking around because he would be tired!"

 

Chad couldn't form a word. He stared blankly into Ryan's painful, upset and exhausted expressions. His face bright red, sweat covered his forehead, eyebrows crumbled together and a line of tears in his eyes, yet not enough to roll down his cheeks. 

 

Chad never knew how any of that happened to him. Taylor didn't tell him, nor Gabi, nor Troy, nor Kelsi, nor anyone in the team. They all kept the knowledge to themselves and tried to act like none of it happened, so Ryan would feel better. 

 

The thoughts swirled in Chad's mind. That's the reason why Ryan stopped dancing. His legs were ruined after the accident, and all of his dream was crushed. Why Ryan had so much difficulties catching up with people on the way. It must have hurt him a lot. Why Kelsi showed so much worry and concern, and never stopped holding his hand, out of the fear that he might trip and fall.

 

"They didn't think of you that way." Chad managed to burst out a sentence, hoarse from shock. 

 

"Really?" Ryan looked at him. "If they didn't, why would you have to fear them to? You didn't want to be on this trip in the first place because you were scared that they would show you that kind of pity. A former basketball star, rejected by the glorious NBA and now turned into a boring, lifeless office worker."

 

He was speechless again. How on Earth could he know all about Chad? 

 

"Did anyone else know?"

 

The other one let out a bitter laugh. "You are just as broken as I am."

 

He turned around and left, every step heavy, reach a hand over his face to wipe away the things seemed to be tears.


	5. Of the old Ryan and make ups

Another sleepless night for Chad. He couldn't stop thinking about Ryan all evening, and the fact that Jimmy was snoring like thunder didn't help.

 

It was unbelievable the way everything happened between the two of them one minute before and the way Ryan was able to reassure everyone about his well-being the next. He came back to the camp looking perfectly happy, smiled and laughed with anyone he met, said hi to them and apologized for falling so far behind. 

 

Even Gabriella and Taylor fell for his act when he said he dropped something and Chad stayed to help him find it. No one could see the painful and vulnerable Ryan he saw one minute ago. The way he walked, the way he smiled and waved at any of them raised no doubt. Except Kelsi, appearently, she must have seen him like that a thousand times. He didn't tell her anything, but she kept aiming her doutful and cautious look at both of them, especially Chad.

 

Chad wondered how could Ryan placed on the flawless happy mask everytime he wanted, like some kind of switch. Chad knew his feelings must be a mess at that moment, pain, anger and exhaustion intertwined, but he showed no sign of them on his face, or posture. And Chad didn't know how long since the trip started have Ryan been wearing the mask. Did he think about Chad at night as much as Chad thought about him? Did he think about their relationship and miss Chad like Chad miss him? Chad wasn't sure. 

 

But one thing he was really sure: Ryan hated him for being difficult and forcing him to confess everything. He is now avoiding Chad. He skipped dinner that evening, saying the lunch had been a little too large for him, so he wasn't hungry. 

 

Kelsi was still afraid of coming near Ryan would make him hate her, so she pretend not to notice and then go confronted Chad about it after the meal, when people were busy with the campfire.

 

The conversation went nothing better than the one he had with Ryan. She didn't accused him of anything, didn't lose her temper and blame him of exposing Ryan's pain in the past, but he wished she did. All he saw was her guilt and regret for not having been able to take care of Ryan and left him out of her sight. Chad couldn't say anything to sooth her when she left for her tent the next few minutes. 

 

This was a mess. He had been thinking all night, wondering if he was the one to blame for all of this. Wondering if Ryan was okay, if Kelsi was okay. Thinking of a way to solve this, to fix...whatever this is between them. He had never wanted Ryan to be hurt, and he would do everything to stop that from happening.

 

The thought led him to the tent belonged to Ryan before he realized what he was doing. Yes, that was the answer. He didn't know if he was wrong to ask Ryan about his past, or if Kelsi was okay. But nothing he wanted more than to help Ryan through this, to be supportive and kind, so he was doing it. Nothing matters more than Ryan's feelings right now.

 

Ryan was still awake. He didn't zip up the entrance to the tent, so Chad peaked in. It was dark inside, but his eyes caught up the sight of the pink haired man, curled into a ball leaning on the wall, hugged his knees to his chest and buried his face in them. He was wearing a pair of earphones, probably listening to music.

 

Chad cleared his throat, and Ryan looked up. 

 

"Hey." He whispered, pulling the earbud down.

 

"Can we talk for a second?" Chad asked as gentle as possible to not startle the other one. He wanted this to be soothing to Ryan, not tense.

 

"Yeah... It would be okay." Ryan replied, leaned over to open the entrance wider. "Is it okay if you get in here instead of me getting out there?"

 

"Of course." Chad quickly got in, worry appeared on his face. "Something's wrong?"

 

"Well... Kinda." Ryan bit his lip. "The weather was changing again, I bet there would be a heavy rain tomorrow. My legs hurt. Can't sleep."

 

"Oh God." Chad looked at his legs, suddenly felt helpless. He didn't know what to do. "I... Is there something I can do to help? Should I call Kelsi?"

 

Ryan shook his head slowly. "She's sleeping. It's not serious. Just...annoying. My legs had been hurt like hell since I woke up in the morning, and I don't think I can even stand up right now. I became a freaking weatherman after the accident." 

 

He managed to make a joke. Out of the most terrible thing that happened to him.

 

"Ryan, I just want to say that it was horrible of me to force you this afternoon. I'm so sorry about that." Chad said apologetically. So, it was his fault, after all. "I didn't know anything, I didn't..."

 

"There is nothing to be sorry about." Ryan cut him off. "You didn't know. And I shouldn't have reacted like that. I guess you are the one here that understands best about what I've been through."

 

"Yeah..." Chad looked down onto his lap. "It was a nightmare."

 

Ryan reached out to hold his hand.

 

"You had just broken up with me. And then I realized my only passion and dream has also rejected me. The most awful thing in the world, feeling not needed anymore."

 

"I miss you." Ryan whispered. "A lot after that. I sometimes thought of leaving Julliard to come home and just...study at the U of A, but I knew it was reckless."

 

"Why didn't you come to visit me?" Chad asked. "You had to come home for Christmas and Thanksgiving, hadn't you?" A question that he already knew the answer. But he just needed someone to say it out loud.

 

"I didn't want to raise any hope. I wanted you to find someone new."

 

Chad laughed, his voice dry. "Both of us were just idiots."

 

"Couldn't agree more." Ryan rolled his eyes. 

 

They sat in silence, looking at each other in the dark. Neither of them really found someone new. Their ridiculous hearts were still stuck in high school and couldn't get over it. The innocent, sunny, beautiful summer when they sat together, wearing each other's clothes at the lunch table after the baseball game. The final basketball game where Chad played on the court and Ryan ran around in that furry mascot costume, screaming, doing backflips and splits and a dozen other moves to encourage the team and his little boyfriend. The clown costume Ryan chose to put on Chad for the show in the senior year. The white sporty but elegant tux and the lovely, gorgeous cream colored tux they went on hunting together for the senior prom. Stupid, stupid hearts.

 

"So after the accident," Chad finally broke the silence. "You changed entirely into this new Ryan?"

 

"You mean I started finding something else to do instead of staying home and lived on by my parents' money?" Ryan raised his eyebrow. "Yes, I did."

 

"You had always been good at singing. Your voice was..." Angelic. "...Great. And the Hollywood thing was great, too."

 

Ryan looked up at his hair. "It was the moment I chose to dye my hair. Leave my hats. I wanted to be a new Ryan when I conquer the world and become one of the brightest star in the history of the entertainment industry." He giggled.

 

"So... It's like..." Chad waved his hand in the air. "I'm sorry, the old Ryan can't come to the phone right now; Why?; Cause he's dead?"

 

Ryan laughed so hard he had to cover his mouth or everyone in the camp would hear him. "No, the old Ryan's not dead!"

 

"Then where is he?" Chad asked playfully. He loved seeing Ryan laugh. "Bring him forward please, I really miss him."

 

Ryan actually moved, and Chad flinched. He didn't think Ryan would do anything. The pink haired man reached over to his backpack a few feet away and started digging through the stuff inside. After a second, he pulled out something.

 

It took Chad a while to realize it was a mini battery hair dryer. Ryan turned it on and strated drying his bright pink hair.

 

Chad's eyes went wide when he saw the pink strands turned back into the familiar silvery blond color wherever the heat reached. Even in the dark, it was impossible not to recognize the breathtakingly beautiful color. And Chad's heart fluttered stupidly at the sight.

 

Ryan turned off the dryer and threw it in the side after he was done. He looked at Chad with a grin. "So? What are you gonna do? He's here."

 

And Chad pulled him closer for a kiss. 

 

Ryan was caught offguard, but he quickly melted into the kiss. Itwas so much sweeter after ten years. The unique smell of Ryan's body and hair, somehow similar to lemon and cherry, drowned Chad's senses. His lips were just as soft and damp and lickable, his tongue was just as fiery and hot and sexy, his narrow hips fit just fine in Chad's grasp. His arms wrapped around Chad's neck as he pulled himself close, hands buried in the curly dark hair. Both of them were kissing and neither of them was able to hid their smile. They wrapped around each other, melted in each other's embrace when time stopped, everything went silent, like they were the only ones in this world. And the feeling was so good.

 

Ryan suddenly winced, and Chad quickly broke the kiss. "Are you okay? What's wrong? You didn't like it?" Or worse. "You had a second thought and don't want it anymore?"

 

The blond sighed and shook his head. He pointed at his legs with the look for a traitor. "It hurts so much. I'm sorry. I really liked that kiss."

 

He leaned over again to kiss Chad, but the other one stopped him. "Wait. Let me see them."

 

"See what?" Ryan didn't know what was happening. No one, he meant it, no one in this world ever refuse a kiss from Ryan Evans. Because he always knows who to kiss, and because he is stunning as hell.

 

"Your legs. See if I can help." Chad motioned to the stupid traitor legs of Ryan, and he groaned. 

 

"You can't, there's nothing you can do about it, but why don't you try coming back here and kiss m-"

 

Chad reached out to lift both of his legs and put them into his own lap. He then gently massage the back of Ryan's leg with some kind of magical movements of his hands, because as much as he protested, the pain died down so quickly Ryan was shock. Chad knew he was doing it right when Ryan snuggled closer and stopped wincing.

 

"Feel better?" He asked without stopping, and Ryan nodded.

 

"It's late." Chad thought for a while then said. "You should get some sleep. I'll be here to help with the pain, so don't worry."

 

"You can stay until morning." Ryan blurted out without thinking. "Sleep for a bit after I dozed off."

 

Chad smiled. He put a peck on the blond's forehead before helping him to lie down without letting his legs left Chad's lap. 

 

"Good night, Ry."

 

"Good night, Chad." Ryan whispered as he stretched his legs into the warmth and comfort, and closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The color changing hair dye is real: http://www.thisisinsider.com/pravanas-color-changing-hair-dye-is-a-game-changer-2017-8


	6. Of a devious morning

It was indeed, raining, when Ryan woke up the next morning. His legs started to be a total dick again, but the warmth from the other man was keeping the agony below his endurance. He reached all around the pillow for his phone to see what time it was.

  
Only 7, still early for his usual mornings, but his phone has already been blown up by text from the group. They had to stay in their tents that morning, couldn't go out and have fun, and all things left to do was texting and video calling each other for hours. But there was something more tempting to him than chatting with Troy and Gabriella as much as he adore them.

  
It was funny to think about what happened last night.

  
He was in a dark, narrow space with no one else than the porn star of his fantasy (he had been dreaming about having wild sex with this man the moment he saw him at the starting point of the trip), but then on the verge of tears because the pain in his legs was so insufferable he wanted to scream, and what they did was coming down the memory lane, color changing hair dye and leg massage. No sex. Not even one piece of clothing out of place. The furthest was kissing. It's so much like the cheesy high school love story of dreamy innocent teenagers who believe in happy ever after that made Ryan wanted to giggle. Chad really did bring the old Ryan out of him.

  
Ryan looked at his side to see the other man, studied the lines in his face and body. He wouldn't tell Chad about how every one night stands he had throughout his college years at New York were tall, muscular dark skin guys. Curly hair, loved talking about baseball and charming was an advantage. Chad was just...his type. Exactly his type. And he wouldn't tell Chad he was a creepy stalker, either, though he must have known from the other day. But knowing the building Chad work for was another property of Evans Inc was a pleasure.

  
After years without basketball, he was somehow still fit as a fiddle and in perfectly good shape that made Ryan green with envy. He was certain that all the pizza and coke went into Chad's body had affected him like Ryan's full week of eating nothing but carrots. He was sure that under the thin, (sadly) plain t shirt the other one wore were rock hard abs and chest. Glistening under the fair lights like some chunks of _chocolate_ that Ryan wanted nothing more than to sunk his teeth in, and lick all over. Okay, that sounds a bit cannibalistic, but he was thinking in a sexual way. He saw the chocolates a lot when they were in high school, after every basketball practice and games, so he remembered them quite well. He resisted the urge to touch Chad's torso, in fear of waking him.

  
The body of an athlete might not have changed, but his face was definitely different. Ryan never really look directly at his face since the first day of the trip. He was scared that maybe his eyes would give out his feelings towards the guy, and he knew it was a bad idea to let Chad know that. He could think Ryan was using him. But now he had all the rights in the world to, so he took his time.

  
Square, sharp lines of jaw that could cut through glass. So manly, Ryan thought, and rolled his eyes at himself. His chin was slightly stubbly, dark eyelashes fluttered at every breath. Short, curly hair that changed the young, enthusiastic look in high school entirely. This is now a man of work.

  
Chad must have gone to sleep long after Ryan did. He still wondered what technique of massage was that magical. It kept him deep in his sleep for five hours straight, a thing that could never happen when he was sleeping alone on his large, cold bed in the apartment before a storm, or rain (or erupting volcanoes). He hated the feeling of rolling in his bed all night, sleepless and exhausted, agonizing.

  
He almost felt grateful for the heavy rain. It gave them all morning for themselves, Chad could sleep in, make up for last night, he could be in his warm chocolatey embrace longer, watch him longer without no one interrupting them.

  
_How on Earth could he have the cruelty to leave this man in the first place?_

  
But that's not the real question. The question that truly matters right now, is how on Earth could he have the cruelty to leave this man again. As much as he loved to drown in this beautiful moment forever, he had to accept the fact that maybe a few hours later when the rain stopped, they had to leave each other's embrace. And this time tomrrow, they would be separated again, like nothing happened. New York and Albuquerque. Exactly the reason they broke up ten years ago.

  
Ryan let out a sigh. Now he regretted letting Chad kiss him last night. Now he doesn't know what to do next. He snuggled in closer to the human cup of hot chocolate, hating this world. That's the gorgeous man that kissed impressively well, the kind and gentle man that had always offer a hand to Ryan, the funny, witty man who made Ryan laughed in the past five days more than in a normal month combined, and the over the top patient man who was still sane enough after his bullshit to go talk to him.

  
"A penny for your thoughts, ducky?" The warm, sleepy voice seeped through Ryan's ear, and he whimpered.

  
"You're up early."

  
"Really? What time is it?" Chad blinked.

  
" _Summertime! It's our vacation! What time is it? Party time..._ " Ryan started humming. He could burst out into songs everytime he was happy, and that is right now. Screw separating in a few days, he is with Ryan right now.

  
"No kidding." Chad lower his head to bite Ryan's lip. "I can't be up early, I stayed up so late last night."

  
"As long as it's still raining," Ryan whispered, nibble his lips lazily. "We have all the time in the world, and no one here to interrupt us."

  
"I suppose we should pick up where we left last night..." Chad leaned in to kiss his neck, hands slipped up his shirt, eager to take it off.

  
Ryan answered with a loud moan, not loud enough to be heard through the rain of course, but loud enough to go straight to Chad's groin. He knew it immediately, since the other one suddenly pinned him down, devoured his throat and collar bones, hands tried to rip his shirt. That had always worked for him, Ryan smirked in his head.

  
He hurriedly took off his shirt, and then this pants, and demanding Chad to do the same. In a matter of second, the two pairs of boxers were the only things left, and they started a non stop mess of touching, groping, kissing and moaning. Ryan was naturally vocal, and it made Chad hard unbelievably fast, so he tried to be even more vocal. They missed each other's body like crazy.

  
Ryan parted his slim legs to wrap around Chad's hips, leaned his head so his long, pale neck was expose to the teeth, and they started grinding. Messily but somewhat rythmically, because they knew each other's pace so well. His fingers digged into the flesh of Chad's back, made him shudder and grinding down harder. He gasped and moaned again, this time more wanton and desperate.

  
"Ryan? What's that?" Kelsi's voice was so close Ryan jumped.

  
"Wha...?"

  
"It stopped raining." The girl said. "Everybody gathered for lunch before packing and head home. Chad has disappeared, and you don't come out of the tent, so I wanted to inform you. I just wanted to know if you saw him..."

  
Ryan sighed. Chad was still sucking his nipples. "He's here."

  
"What? What does that mean?"

  
"It _means_ ," He raised his hand to squeeze Chad's jaw and answered loudly. "There's nothing to worry about. He's in here with me. He'll be back to his tent in a minute."

  
"What is he _doing_ in there?" Kelsi squeaked.

  
Ryan ignored her, and turned back to Chad, who is extremely upset. He shoved Chad off him and looked for his clothes.

  
"Don't be childish," Ryan pinched Chad's lips when he saw the ultimate pout. "The whole group doesn't have to wait for us to finish having sex. We have to be _punctual_."

  
_"But!!!"_

  
"No more arguing and start cleaning up things _right now_." Ryan coldly demanded, but even Chad knew he was trying so hard not to lean in and kiss that pout to death. And god, the puppy eyes.

  
But after a few attempts to seduce Ryan back to sex without succeeding, Chad finally gave up. He didn't even bother to put on his clothes, just picked them up and got out of the tent, heading back to his, knowing Ryan's gaze stuck in his ass the whole time. And all of the others', too, but Ryan's the main part.

 


	7. Of the ending speech and duets

Chad could feel everyone's gaze burning behind him when he came out of the tent fully dress to help with the lunch, the last meal of the trip they had together. According to Taylor, the one arranging the whole thing, they would get out of the pine forests and mountainous site after the meal and then get on the bus to come home at midnight.

 

  
He could see Ryan with his bright smile and blond hair put the last item into his backpack, and went to help the girls with the farewell speech. Kelsi and Gabi started asking him about why did they see Chad almost naked got out of his tent half an hour ago, and he answered with a laugh and shook his head.  
The guys also asked him a lot about what exactly did he and Ryan do last night to make Ryan literally glow under the light of day. And how did his hair turned from pink to gliterry blond after a night of sex. Troy winked at him, and Jason patted his shoulder. Zeke whispered to him, "Can't believe you spent last night and the whole morning having sex while I was bored to death.", and Chad rolled his eyes, couldn't hide his smile.

 

  
Sometimes he caught Ryan smiled at him, and he shamelessly waved back with a large grin. He had to put up with Troy and Gabi's cheesy show for a full week, there's no problem with him flooding their eyes with a bit of gay sweetness. Everybody seemed surprise and curious, but none of them showed any discomfort. They were all happy and supportive throughout the whole meal, lifting the heavy off his chest.

 

  
No, he's not ashamed of being bisexual and fell for a beautiful blond guy, and he knew Ryan was too tough to be hurt by someone else's attitude towards his sexuality, but being in a welcoming atmosphere was always wonderful. It was one of the best lunch he's ever had.

 

  
Sitting next to his, he didn't know what their relationship really was, say, boyfriend, and among all of his best friends, eating amazing grilled chicken and cheese, chatting and talking cheerfully about everything that happened during the one week trip, everything was beautiful. Ryan sat right beside him with their legs touched, his arm rested on Chad's thigh, so close and intimate and open. No space between them, no hiding, concealing, it's like Ryan let rainbows burst out of them without bothering to keep it down. Anyone could look at them and knew they were...together.

 

  
Sometimes it crossed Chad's mind if they were going too fast. But everytime Ryan turned to him and flashed his signature smile at him, he realized that no, it was not too fast, not fast at all. Nothing could be fast taking ten years.

 

  
Until suddenly, Ryan stood up from his place and cleared his throat to get people's attention. Seemed like he was the one giving the speech instead of Troy the last time.  
"So as you can see, it's the last day of the trip. After ten years, it's so much more fun for me to see all of you this way. Share a whole week living and singing and do dumb things with you made me feel like being in high school again, and I've never loved being a Wildcat this much." He spoke slowly, firmly, his warm voice flooded everyone's ears with adore and pride. Everyone applauded with smiles on their faces. But those quickly turned into grins when Ryan's tone changed to the teasing humorous tone that he just couldn't turn off for more than five minutes.

 

  
"But first, I want to tell you something." He started walking around in a leisurely stroll. "You probably wondering why Chad Danforth stepped out of my tent this morning without most of his clothes. And how my hair magically changed its color after one night. In the middle of the wood. Maybe you were thinking, how could he change his hair color just by having sex?"

 

  
Giggles and snorts were everywhere, and Chad felt like he was ambushed. He looked at Ryan with his best "painful" face, but he knew as an amazing actor he was, he wasn't buying it.

 

  
"But here's the sad truth: I didn't have sex with Danforth. I was about to, until we were interrupted." He rolled his eyes at everyone. "And the color of my hair wasn't the only thing that is different."

 

  
The tone of his voice changed again, and the crowd turned silence.

 

  
"I supposed you all knew about the car accident that cost me my dream." He continued calmly, his words hung heavy, but oh so gently in the air. "Made me unable to dance, despite all of my efforts since I was born just so I can perform on stage. Turn my passion into my career."

 

  
Kelsi looked at him with her eyes wide, surprise and pain all at once. She had never seen him so open and calm talking about his pain in the past like this. And so vulnerable.

 

  
"I was depressed for a long time, but then I decided it's time to choose a different path, and I still choose the stage, for the attention whore I am." He laughed quietly, but no one laughed along with him. Everyone were too shocked.

 

  
"I thought that after that, I was fully recovered. That I finally got over the bitterness, and continued my life in a different way. I thought dyeing my hair was a sign of rebirth, and I'm a new man all over. But I wasn't. I haven't realized that until I met Chad." He looked at Chad, and Chad could see the unstable, insecure, stormy blue eyes. He was scared, showing all of his wounds like this, and Chad gave him an encouraging smile. He belived in Ryan.

 

  
"He represented everything I thought that wasn't me anymore. You all did, but I could lie to you. I had a flawless act, trying my best to convince you that I'm a better, stronger man, and I felt perfectly fine. But Chad, well, he tore my shell open with his bare hands, and made me admit that I wasn't fine at all. I was just feeling sorry for myself. I blamed you for showing pity, for making little of me, but actually I was the one doing it."

 

  
"Chad shoved that truth into my face, and he helped me to accept it. That was what happened inside my tent last night and this morning, not sex, much as I loved it to be." He smirked. "So right now, I'm here as myself to all of you, because I know you deserved to see the real me rather than the fake image I took of myself to fool others."

 

  
"I hate being unable to dance. I missed it terribly, and sometimes it  _hurts_ seeing people dancing around. But I also hate seeing people's pitiful look and trying to stop mentioning it in front of me. I tripped and fell hard, but I'm trying to get up, so I need you to stop treating me like I'm a damsel in distress and be with me. My heart is not gonna be broken into a thousand pieces just by hearing someone talk about dancing, or jumping, or walking."

 

  
"And I know you will support me, because no matter what happened to us in the last ten years, nothing could change who were are. We are still friends, we had been by each other's side before, and we will always be. That's what I want to say the most in this spontaneous and messy speech that is nothing more than a story full of myself. That's what friends are for."

 

  
He looked at Chad, and without anymore words, Chad knew what to do. He yelled.

 

  
"WHAT TEAM?"  
"WILDCATS!" The whole ground almost shook with their reply, and he  
could see Ryan laughed in relief.  
"WHAT TEAM?"  
"WILDCATS!"  
"WILDCATS?"  
"GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!"

 

  
And everything exploded in applause and laughter. Everyone hugged each other, clapped and jumped from their seats. Ryan ran into his arms and held him tight. Chad gently stroke his hair, whispered in his ear how proud he was about Ryan. The blond blushed and buried his face in Chad's shoulders.

 

  
And then suddenly Gabriella pushed the two of them into the front of the crowd, and somewhere, they could hear Troy's voice.

 

  
"Chad haven't sung anything at all this whole trip!"

 

  
Gabriella started a rant. "Duet! Duet! Duet!"

 

  
"Seriously, this is not a very good idea..." Ryan tried, but she ignored him.

 

  
And the crowd followed her without second thoughts. "DUET! DUET! DUET!"

 

  
With everyone around asking for a song, they finally gave in.

 

  
"Fine, you choose the song, and we'll sing it." Chad mumbled, pretended hard not to show too much of his inner excitement in being able to sing a duet with his first love in front of the whole student body.

 

  
"No Thinking out loud," Ryan added. "My legs already don't work like they used to before."

 

  
This time, even Kelsi laughed. One of the basketball guys yelled. "Now or never!"

 

  
"Well, it was a good song and I loved it," Ryan said. "But it's not too much of a love song for two, don't you think? It was really weird."

 

  
"But there was a part where Troy and Gabriella sang!" Others replied, and Ryan took in a deep breath.

 

  
"If you insist."

 

  
He cleared his throat, and for one second, it was quiet.

 

  
" _TROOOOOYYYYYYYYY_!!!!" Ryan sang/screamed in the highest note in the history, mimicking the voice of Gabriella imppecably, and once again, it was like the forest broke in two from laughter. Gabriella's face was red as a tomato at that, and Troy was nowhere to be seen. It was too embarrassing.

 

  
Chad immediately responded, without letting the laughter interrupting him. " _Right now I can hardly breathe..."_

  
" _Oooh_ ," Ryan raised his voice. " _Then why the hell are you singing? Just keep on breathing..."_

 

  
Chad made people waited a good few seconds for his response, then he just simply said, "Okay.", and God, Kelsi thought her cheeks would get hell a lot of cramps after that.

 

  
"Okay, okay," Ryan was laughing his ass off too. "The real thing this time. Something from high school that you're all familiar with, okay?"

 

  
" _We're soaring, flying_ ," He started singing again, and it was impossible not to fall in silence to just listen to him. " _There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach, if we're trying, so we're breaking free..._ "

 

  
" _You know the world can see us_ ," Chad continued so naturally, like they had done this so many times. " _In a way that's different than who we are, creating space between us, so we're separate heart..._ "

 

  
" _But in faith it gave me strength_ ," Ryan's eyes was sparkling when they looked at Chad, " _Strength to believe..._ "

 

  
" _We're breaking free!_ " Chad burst, and everyone sang along with them.

 

  
_"We're soaring, flying! There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach, if we're trying, so we're breaking free..."_


	8. Of protective siblings

"I can't believe this is happening again." 

 

Ryan looked up from the shirt in his hand and raised an eyebrow. "You mean me and Chad? Haven't we been here before?"

 

"Yes." Sharpay sighed. "But you two didn't work out the last time! And the very reason you didn't still exists, right here! What suddenly changed your mind?"

 

Ryan put it down and turned to his sister, who, for the first time in her life, didn't seem to care about the clothes. "I know you're worried about me. And I'm sorry I lied to you about not coming to the reunion trip." 

 

"You told me you wouldn't come!"

 

"Because I knew you would come too if I did."

 

"And what's wrong with me coming?" Sharpay raised her voice, arms folded in front of her chest.

 

"There's nothing wrong with you coming to see your old high school friends." Ryan rolled his eyes. "But you will start being over protective and people will treat me differently. You weren't even there and they already thought I was a damsel in distress and acted like I was gonna break like a piece of glass."

 

"Because that's how people are! They just pity you and think of you as something less than them."

 

"They just didn't know how to do it right." Ryan calmly said. "When I told them that I was fine and they didn't have to treat me like that, they stopped. They just need me to tell them how I felt. All they wanted is to be nice to me."

 

"And this Danforth proved that to you?"

 

"Yes, it was him. He still cares about me too."

 

"You don't know that.”

 

Ryan pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Everything in his life had changed entirely after the car accident, including Sharpay. They were still having a wonderfully close relationship before that, of course, they texted and sent photos to each other and crashed at each other’s places at least once a week, beacause well, they lived in the same city. But after the tragic event, Sharpay seemed to be even more protective of him. She felt horrible for having treated him like one of her “minions”, replaced him mindlessly when she saw something more appealing to her, and not being nice to him enough. Ryan guessed all of the memories came back to her when she waited for almost ten hours for him to have his surgery and his life was at stake, because Jesus, all of those things happened centuries ago.

 

It was heart-warming to see how much Sharpay had changed over the years, especially now when she kept spoiling him with all of his favorite food and expensive clothes and gifts and the dagger-sharp gaze of hers everytime someone was a little less than perfectly polite to him. But sometimes, she worried too much. He had one mom when he was in Albuquerque, and when he came to New York, he suddenly had two: Sharpay and Kelsi. It could be extremely exhausting to explain and convince them about his well-being all the time, cause his acting skills just didn’t work on them. They saw right through him. Therefore, it was impossible for them not to show concern of his lovelife.

 

Apart from the accident, his luck only rejected him when it comes to relationships. He did amazing at Julliard, graduated with flying colors, got into a famous dance crew that toured around the world and even made it to the main group. Even after he couldn’t dance anymore, his debut in the music industry was a complete success, lots of his songs were large hits, he got roles in Hollywood, and owned a giant studio in the heart of the city. He worked hard for them, nothing could deny it, but luck was also on his side. It had already blessed him with talent and the gift of charm since the day he was born. 

 

People loved him, girls loved him, guys loved him and lusted after him, but somehow he couldn’t have a serious relationship with anyone for so many years. The ones he found good enough didn’t want any strings attached, the ones that wanted to be with him never really fit into his life. The sexy ones were dumb, and the smarter ones were not skillful enough to give him pleasure. Sometimes Kelsi asked him why did he have to be such a chooser, cause not all of them were that bad. He just said they weren’t his type, and then settled for one night stands and friends with benefits instead. He gave up the idea of finding his soulmate after Kelsi bought the apartment right next to him. He wanted someone to be his family, well, he had two. He wanted sex, he had one hundred. 

 

It slowly came to him that you don’t need to be in a romantic relationship to give your life meaning. All you need is to be happy with what you’re having right now, and that’s what Ryan was doing.

 

It never crossed his mind why no one was his type. Until he met Chad again.

 

He had been stalking Chad since they broke up. Not that he hired some kind of private investigator to take pictures of Chad and secretly get Chad’s emails and send it to him or anything, he just followed the guy on every social network that exists, looked at every single picture and status he posted again and again, and asked Sharpay about him all the time when she was in the same college as him. He couldn’t stop himself from missing the guy after being forced (by the circumstances) to end their relationship. After the moping phase, his actions slowly got less obnoxious and more delicate, but he never stopped looking out to see how Chad had been. Sometimes asking Taylor or Gabi about him. 

 

But he didn't contact Chad at all, not even when he found out about Chad not getting into the NBA. He wanted to come and find a way to comfort him more than anything, but seeing Chad then would make him weak in the knees and fall back into his arms again, and that would be so messy. Instead, he kept silence and watched the other guy from afar, prayed that he was okay.

 

"Earth to Ryan." Sharpay snapped her fingers in front of his face."You there?"

 

"Yeah, I'm here." He bit his lip and left the shirt back on the shelf. 

 

"You always get that tuning out moment when we talk about your romance." She pulled him over to the comfortable sofa at the far end of the shop, and they sat down.

 

"If you are telling me you magically found a perfect guy for me again..."

 

"No, just let me finish." She cut him off. "But none of them were this long. You think about Danforth a lot, don't you?"

 

"...Well, yeah." He squeezed his eyes shut. "You are not the one thinking this between us is not a good idea. I myself thought that sometimes. We're in two different cities, miles apart, and got no sign of getting together at all. In a million years. It will most likely end up sour."

 

"But what made you still do it anyway?" She leaned closer, her eyes full of concern.

 

"I don't know, it's just... I've never had a real boyfriend for a long time now, Shar. It pissed me off, cause maybe there was somekind of problem with me that make me unlovable. But then when I met Chad again, I realized I rejected everyone because none of them were Chad."

 

"This high school crush was too big on you." Sharpay shook her head slowly. "I got over Troy ages ago and here you are."

 

"Pathetic, huh?" Ryan laughed. "And the funny thing is? He was just as pathetic. He also had a ton of exes and ohs over the years, none of his relationship got anywhere."

 

"It doesn't mean his heart was in your pocket the whole time."

 

"No. But all of his exes had blond hair and blue eyes. Skinny, pale skin. Decent at dancing. Taylor was the only one different from them. They all looked like a clone of me."

 

"You were just imagining it."

 

"He stopped by Lava Springs a lot. He seemed to be oddly interested in the baseball courtyard, where we really first paid attention to one another."

 

"How did he even get in?"

 

"He shut himself from everyone in high school, but he asked Gabi about me too. Sometimes."

 

"Then how could he not know about you stopped dancing?"

 

"Because after finding out how I was doing great in Julliard, he felt ashamed of himself and never asked again."

 

"You sound like a lovesick teenager. How do you know that's what he thought?"

 

"He remembered everything about me, Shar. We were back together for a few months now, and we text and video call everyday. He remembered my favorite ice cream flavor. My favorite song. My mostly used diet. My peculiar timetable when I'm busy. He knew I was stressed or if I was having a good time just by listening to my voice over the phone."

 

Sharpay narrowed her eyes at his words.

 

"And in the the worst scenario," Ryan shrugged. "We would just break up again. It's not like I have anything to lose."

 

"You can stop your act right now, Mr Hollywood." She tapped her fingers on the armrest impatiently. "We all know you're gonna have another heartbreak if this don't work out."

 

"Then I guess I'll have to try my best to make this work out." Ryan cluck his tongue. 

 

"You should." Sharpay said. "And he better make you happy, or hurting you would be the last thing he does while still existing in this world."

 

"See Shar, maybe none of my boyfriends stayed because they were too afraid of you."

 

"Oh, shut up."

 

Ryan laughed and held his sister tight. If this don't work out, he knew he still had Shar, no matter what.


	9. Of lovey dovey high school students in adult form

“Ry, get up and lie down the bed properly, you’ll get a sore neck sleeping like that.” Chad called when he turned off his working window to see the other one had fallen asleep next to his laptop through the Skype window. 

 

“Mhnnn, you sound like my mom.” Ryan sulked, and Chad felt himself wanting nothing more than to be able to reach over and stroke his sleepy cheeks gently.

 

“I finished the work.” He lied, stretched his arms and fake a yawn. “Turn the laptop off and get to sleep, or you won’t be able to get up tomorrow.”

 

“Tomorrow’s my day off, I deserve to spend a night looking at my new boyfriend over the computer.” The blond’s quiet laughs filled his ears, and he fought back the urge to book a plane straight to New York. This is bad, really bad. He’s almost thirty years old, he’s not supposed to feel like a teenager naively in love.

 

“I’m gonna get to bed anyway.” He said, collecting all of the papers around him into a large pile and stood up.

 

“Well then, sleep tight. Love ya.” Ryan rubbed his eyes and went offline. 

 

Chad walked over the other side of the room for a glass of water, then came back to his seat next to his computer and reopened his work. If he knew Ryan was about to do that silly thing, he would have just faked his bedtime long earlier. The guy was stubborn, and his work couldn’t wait.

 

Everything got more and more stressful at the office when this new supervisor came. The previous one was nice, he let Chad off the hook and fix his mistakes before it got serious instead of punishing him. He guided Chad through the complicated work his position had to handle, and he paid attention to the life outside of work of his subordinates. He was everything this new supervisor was not, and Chad had to cope with him everyday from now on.

 

Chad was the most hard-working guy in the room, not nine-to-five like some people, but seven-to-nine, everyday, even weekends, and he still couldn’t satisfy this one. He wasn’t so clumsy that he needed to spend ten times more effort in his work than anyone else: he was quite good at his job, and careful enough not to make too many mistakes. Generally, in his opinion, he was doing great. Despite all of his time and dedication, the new guy was such a hardass that Chad just wanted to quit sometimes. 

 

But remembering about how he’s an adult and had to take care of his own expenses now, he obediently came back to the papers, praying someday this supervisor would be transfered to somewhere else.  
The work also ate up all of the time he wanted to spend talking and sharing his day with his so-called boyfriend. He never had a real boyfriend for a long time, and seeing Ryan even just through the phone, was a delight. His work was busy and draining, but everytime he saw the blond’s face, or heard his voice, all of his exhaustion melted away in seconds. The thoughtful and caring way he asked Chad about his day, the weird sense of humor and the way he bursted into songs every now and then, Chad never realized how he missed it. Unfortunately, both of them couldn't spend a minute together without being cockblocked by their tons of work to do, so the solution was to turn on Skype to video call Ryan, and then the both of them would just continued their work with the window on to sometimes look at the other’s face for a bit. It almost felt like being in the same room as each other. 

 

It never occured to him that working in the entertainment industry would required so much time on computers. Ryan told him he had to read the books that the newest movie he took part in was based on, check through the cameras at the studios to see if everything was fine down there, and made up some choreograph for his new clients. He couldn't dance like a pro, but his mind was still of a dancer. He even send Chad some 3D videos he made as somekind of "sketch" for the dance number, and Chad was stunned.  
Chad looked at the screen and tried to get his mind back to the numbers and texts on the blinding white background, but failed. 

 

He hated this job. He gave it all his energy, time and effort, but he couldn't find a way to fit into it. He worked all the time for years. All of his colleague who came into the company the same time as him are having their own offices now, and he was still in his cubicle. His body ached to move, to run and score, tired of sitting around all day. He could play sport nonstop for a day and not feeling half as exhausted as doing paperwork.

 

He admired Ryan for the determination and will he carried in his skinny body. He got his dream taken away, fell from the glorious top of his career to the bottom of it, but then got up to his feet to challenge himself with another mountain and conquer it on his own. Nothing was stronger than Ryan's love for the stage, and no limitation of his body could stand in his way.

 

Chad looked at himself, and the shameful feelings he got when finding out how well Ryan was doing at Julliard came back at him with full force. He shielded himself from his past, ran from it because he was ashamed. He failed to fulfill his desire to be a professional basketball player, but then he never got over it. He stayed in his pit of self-pity and pain, refused to crawl out to find another way like Ryan did. He was buried in his failure and got stuck in this life-sucking hell of a job. 

 

If it was someone else, they would never abandon their passion so easily. They would find a way to still do the things they loved despite their lack of natural gifts. But what could he do now he realized that? It was too late to go back. He couldn't leave this job, because he would be broke without it, and he couldn't find another job about basketball to fill in the blank. A brave man would quit the job and go out, fight the world to achive his dream. But also a fool. He didn't want to be a fool, even when being reasonable comes with cowardice.

 

Chad desperately looked at the screen, at all of the paper that he got fed up with with every fiber of his being, and sighed. He had to go back to finish this before tomorrow morning.

 

.  
.  
.

 

Chad woke up from the table with the laptop still open in front of him. The moment he typed in the last word of his report, his head fell onto the keyboard and he passed out.

 

It's six thirty in the morning, only half an hour before he had to turn the report in or suffer from torture of his supervisor. He got up from the table immediately, carefully saved the file and put the laptop into his bag. Fifteen minutes later, he finished his morning routine and leave the apartment with the bag, a cup of coffee in his hand and a piece of toast in his mouth. 

 

He didn't really have time to eat, but to survive the day, he needed coffee, and to survive the coffee, he needed food. 

 

His car pulled into the parking lot at six fifty, and he ran into the supervisor's office at exactly seven with the report neatly printed out.

 

The guy took the report and studied it for a few minutes. Chad's heart beat increasingly fast at nervousness, but he was too tired to even care. Both of his body and mind got stretch thin last night, and he looked like a zombie right now. Zombies don't get nervous from a mere mortal.

 

His supervisor put down the paper and looked at Chad from through his glasses. Normally, he should be released by now. But today the guy seemed to have something more for him. 

 

"Sit down, Danforth."

 

Chad followed his words, didn't know if he should be panic or annoyed.

 

"I can see that you've put so much time and effort into this project. You're doing it well."

 

Chad blinked. Did he just hear a compliment? Is this somekind of calm before a storm?

 

"And that's the reason why we agreed to let you handle the conference about this project." The supervisor picked up another sheet of paper to put it in front of Chad. "You will represent our firm at this event, so don't do anything stupid."

 

He scanned the paper, and suddenly the city in which the conference will be held smashed into his eyes. New York. New York City, Ryan Evans City, Boyfriend City! He looked at the supervisor, face split into a grin that is so wide he would have turned into the Joker.  
"...Really? Is this really happening?"  
"Yes, how unpleasant it might be, yes." The guy rolled his eyes. "You are the chosen one. Pack your things by tonight, your plane ticket and accommodation has been taken care of. Contact Laura to find out your timetable."

 

Chad jumped out of his chair in joy, laughed and took the paper with him out of the office.  
He's going to New York to visit Ryan for the first time!


	10. Of the arrival to New York and the girls

Chad came to the airport to see Ryan had already been there waiting for him next to his car. Seeing the blond again after a long few months made him so excited and his heart beat madly in his chest. 

 

Ryan was just as gorgeous as the last time they saw each other for real, wrapped around each other, touch and made love the whole night after the trip in a fancy hotel in Albuquerque. He left in the morning with a kiss on Chad's cheek and a promise to come back and visit him as soon as possible. 

 

Chad was so nervous he fumbled for a full minute with his suitcase and the laugh from the blond was like music to his ears when he stepped over and pulled him into a kiss, the luggage forgotten. Having the warm, familiar slim figure in his arms again made his mind all dizzy, and the kiss was, as always, soft and sweet but eager and wanting. He must have kissed so many people before Chad to be this good, but Chad quickly put the thought away.

 

"Jesus, I miss you." Ryan cupped his face in his pale palms and broke into a wide grin. Chad held his hips even closer and kissed him again.

 

They could have been kissing like that for like an hour, nibbling and sucking at each other's lips before people started staring, and they both laughed. Ryan opened the trunk of his breathtakingly beautiful car and helped him put his belongings in. Chad spent a while to admire and envy the car. It was an E Class convertible with a coat of elegant silver color that screamed billions of dollars. Everything about it was so delicate that Chad almost didn't dare to get in. 

 

Ryan saw how the stared at the car, and reached out to open the door for him, gesturing to the passenger seat. "Get on the magic carpet, my princess, I can show you the world."  
Chad punched his arm before stepping in.  
"So you're here for a conference?" Ryan drove into the city, turned on the radio for some soft music.

 

"Yeah, totally on business." Chad replied, couldn't decide to look at the noisy and shiny city around him or to look at the lovely boyfriend of his. "I was set up at this motel a few blocks away..." 

 

He showed Ryan the map on his phone on the shortest way to get to the motel, but Ryan pushed it away. "A motel, seriously? You're staying at my place. There's no way I'm gonna spend the night with you in a hideous warehouse in the middle of a slum. And I can't let you stay there. It's an insult. I'll just drive you to your conference in the morning."

 

"Are you sure you're okay with..."

 

"Kels lives right next door!" Ryan beamed. "She would be thrilled to see you!"

 

"Kelsi?" Chad was surprised. "You two are just inseparable, aren't you?"

 

"A girl and her gay best friend." Ryan chuckled. "Sharpay was worried I would jumped off a building when I found out I couldn't dance anymore, so Kelsi had to be there to make sure I was alive. Those two have never been more agreed to something."

 

"Sharpay's here too?" Chad asked, ignored the sarcastic humor of Ryan about his accident. He started to turn it into a topic of joking, and as much as Chad hated to remember the event, it's great to see how carefree Ryan was about this. No more bitter anger.

 

"Yep, she's on Broadway with Boi. Crash by my place very often, I'm sure you'll meet very soon. Too bad she had a plan came up when the trip started, so she couldn't come." Ryan smiled proudly, like the fact that Sharpay is performing on Broadway was his pride and joy. 

 

"Yeah, it's so not gonna be awkward." Chad rolled his eyes, remembering the last time she caught them making out in the locker room at Lava Spring years ago. It took a while for her to finally accept her brother's "primitive, brainless, ape of a boyfriend", and it wasn't an easy period of time.

 

"And you're gonna love the girls." Ryan couldn't control his face muscles to stop smiling. "They're gonna love you too."

 

"The girls? What girls?" Chad looked at him horrified. "Please tell me you aren't married and don't have any children right now."

 

The other one just laughed and drove faster. "I'm not a single father, but sometimes they made me feel like I am."

 

.  
.  
.

 

Turned out "the girls" were five dogs that Ryan took under his wing from a local shelter, each of a different type. Shar has her Boi, I have my girls, he said. One Doberman, one Pitbull, one Golden Retriever, one German Shepherd, and one American Akita. The Doberman, Pitbull and German Shepherd were in charge of the "security" of the apartment, while the others helped Ryan with all of the tricks he taught them, like tidying his shoes, bringing him things and waking him up in the morning.

 

He said when he pretended to cry, they brought him tissues and all of their toys, trying to make him feel better. One of them even licked away his tears when he came home after a stressful day and lied down crying on the floor from the pain in his legs.

 

It was the girls that lifted him through the depressed time after the accident. Ryan told Chad the story, not in grief and upset, but with pure adore and love. Everyone tried to comfort him after that, told him every inspirational quotes that ever existed in the history, suggesting everything that might help him get over the pain. He kept sinking lower and lower into depression despite their efforts. He even hurt himself more than once, that was where all the cuts and old scars on his forearms coming from. Until they decided to drag him to a psychiatrist, and a while later, she told him to get a dog after an appointment.

 

He got to a shelter to adopt one, and found himself having to choose from five poor puppies that got abandoned by their owners on the streets a few months after Christmas. And from Chad saw now, he knew Ryan couldn't make a decision.

 

Kelsi helped Ryan taking care of the dogs too, since he was rather busy and his knowledge about dogs was a round zero. They had a woman paid only to take care of Boi when he was home, so he didn't pay attention.

 

Kelsi greeted Chad with an ashtonished smile and a tight hug. She was a professional composer and pianist, having a bunch of concerts with an orchestra performing her artwork in all of the great music halls, and since Chad was totally oblivious about this kind of music, he might not have known her name, but she was super famous, Ryan said. The girl blushed brightly at his words, but Chad knew Ryan didn't exaggerate her success. She had always been so talented and passionate.

 

They spent the afternoon in Ryan's big ass apartment that he proudly introduced to be bought by his income entirely, talking about their lives and memories together. They must have done that in the trip, but the drama between Chad and Ryan was too distracting. Then Kelsi had to leave to have a date with her girlfriend ("Don't forget to keep a condom in your purse!" Ryan joked when she opened the door), and they were alone. 

 

"So," The blond nudged him. "You hungry? We can go to a restaurant down the street for dinner. I know the exact thing for you."

 

Chad thought for a second. Spending the night eating out with Ryan, then having a tour around the city with him, and kissed under the sparkling lights of the city that never sleeps. Or...

 

"Yeah, I'm starving." Chad licked his lips, and for one moment, Ryan almost didn't get what he meant. "But it's not the food that I wanna eat."

 

The blond playfully crawled into his lap, undoing his buttons with a smirk on his lips. "Can't resist some fresh flesh right here, eh?"

 

Chad chuckled when the shirt fell onto the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to throw in some real good sex at the end of this chapter, but I was too tired and I needed time to make sure the sex scene was good, so I'll leave it to the next chapter  
> Don't worry, the ship has already lack of good sex (not the handjob, dry humping and make outs) so I'll make sure to give you some


	11. Of some good sex and the morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there it is, the first sex paragraph I've ever written. It wasn't insanely hot but I was quite proud about it, I think it was pretty good. Hope you like it.

The blond put a hand spread on his chest and held him dow firmly while rolling his hips. Chad stopped trying to get up eventually, obediently lay on his back and looked up at the sex god on top of him.

 

He should have known better than trying to dominate such a fierce force of nature. Every move of his was demanding, confident and just simply hot that melted all reasons in Chad's head. He knew where to touch, how fast to grind down, what exact moment to moan that could make Chad harder than he thought he could ever be.

 

This must be how the god of beauty and sexual desire looked like, he thought in his head, as Ryan opened his legs wider to wrap around Chad's and moved his hips frantically. His head thrown back, throat showing and hands grabbed tight onto the headboard as Chad's cock burned so deep into every inch of his insides. Chad squeezed his lean thighs so hard he was gonna leave a bruise in the morning, and thrusted up, meeting the blond's messy rhythm.

 

Oh, the lovely sounds that came out of his swollen red lips, all the gasps of Chad's name when he devoured the flesh of the bony chest, the whimpers when Chad marked his way all over from the jaw to his hip bones. The hiccups and ragged breath when he bounced like a basketball on Chad's cock, riding and rolling and fucking himself like it was his last day in this world.

 

"Cockslut, you just can't refuse having a big cock stretching your greedy, slutty hole, can you?" Chad growled into his ears, and the words were followed by a string of shivering moans. He stopped pretending not to be turned on by Chad's filthy dirty talk an hour ago.

 

He had his own unique rhythm and Chad took up so easily, hand bumping his cock in time with his thrusts, made him grinded even harder. 

 

He was tight. Hot and smooth, clamped down on Chad deliciously, his wet entrance wrapped insanely tight around the cock everytime he fell down into Chad's lap, the sounds escaping his lips got louder and more breathless. But not "please" or "more", because he was the one in control of everything, Chad chuckled at the thought. Only "yes", "oh"s and "ah"s so sweet it made Chad's hands ache for not being able to grope more of his flesh, touch more of his skin. The sight of him rode Chad with closed eyes, mouth open and hair stuck on his forehead in sweat finally snapped all of Chad's restrains in half.

 

He held the blond's narrow hips, pushed him down onto the mattress and levering himself up without letting any of his cock out of Ryan, earning a surprised yelp. No matter how hard Ryan rolled his hips and rode him to the moon and back, it could never be this deep. The blond trembled when he looked up at Chad with his glassy eyes, arms held onto his shoulders like a drown man holding onto a wooden fracture of the sunken ship. He started thrusting nonstop, fast and brutally, got deeper and deeper into the pale body every thrust, bent down to breath in the sweet scent of the blond's neck and bit the soft skin hard, one hand lifting his back off the bed to have a better angle at the spot that made Ryan's eyes see sparkles under his lids. The spot that made Ryan putty in his hands from pleasure.

 

He knew he found the spot when the whole body under him twitched violently, a loud gasp, "Yes, right...ah...there..." and began hitting it again, and again, and again. Ryan's hands clawed on the dark skin on Chad's back into long marks, his back arched up the bed deliciously, and he screamed. 

 

White, hot liquid coated both of their chests when Chad came too, filling him to the brim with his come. He came so hard he could feel the hot, sticky liquid rolled down Ryan's inner thighs. So beautiful, so stunning, Chad thought as he kissed the other one in a messy, filthy open mouthed kiss, biting and sucking his tongue, devouring him. Out of breath, he finally fell on top of the blond, who had passed out a few seconds ago.

 

He didn't intend to pull out of the guy. The tight and wet feeling was just too good to let go, so he stayed there, enjoyed the view of a erotically battered, completely worned out god of sex until drifted off to sleep.

 

.  
.  
.

 

Ryan woke up early that morning, went out to give the girls a walk and bought a mouth watering New York breakfast to the apartment for both of them. Too bad Chad didn't have the chance to see the blond taking a shower after a long night full of "activity", cleaning away all of Chad on his body, but waking up to see breakfast set out on the table and Ryan with only a silk bathing gown waiting for him was just equally satisfying.

 

Ryan was glowing, a lazy smile never left his still-a-bit-too-red lips. He greeted Chad with a sweet voice, telling him about where he found the food and how much Chad was gonna love it. Chad knew he was glowing too, because he could also feel himself smirking all the time. They both enjoyed their, delicious by the way, breakfast together, and for the first time in a long long time, Chad was relax. No work pressure, no empty hollow dark room haunting him everytime he came home. Having someone, anyone, in a meal with him was a blessing already, but having Ryan? Nothing better.

 

Then they got to the dressing room for their clothes. Ryan left Chad's suitcase full of clothes for the business trip there, and when he got in, he was stunned. He should have known someone like Ryan would own such a room, but his imagination was too limited. A whole room as big as Chad's own apartment just to store clothes seemed to be not nearly enough. 

 

The walls were covered with ceiling-touched closets, clothes sorted by weather, occasion and color filled them from the bottom to the top. Some outfits looked so strange he didn't dare to ask, and he wondered if Ryan ever wear the same outfit twice. After watching Ryan struggled to choose among a sea of clothes and accessories, Chad decided to walked over the corner of the room, open his suitcase there and just pick up the formal clothes on the top.

 

He wore nothing but the boxers from last night, so getting into a changing booth was pointless. He just put on his clothes right there, combed through his curly hair with his fingers a few times and turned around to check on Ryan. 

 

All this time, he still couldn't make up his mind between these two shirts. One with a gradient forest green color, dark on the top and got slowly lighter til white coming lower on the shirt, and the other was this hot pink color with almost invisible stripe patterns on it. He looked at Chad, held up the shirts on his chest and raised his eyebrow.

 

"You know what, pink always looks good on you." Chad shrugged. "And white. White shows off your slim frame better than most colors."

 

Ryan's eyes literally glowed up at the words. "Yes! White!"

 

And he threw the green shirt down, hooked the pink one on the clothes hanger next to him, obviously for putting on later, and digged through the slacks part of the closet. He fished out a pair of white freshly ironed slacks and cheerfully put both of the shirt and pants on. He decided to leave the jacket home, since it was a summer day, and it would be a waste of a hot dark slick leather jacket if the pink scarf couldn't go with it. He then finished his look with the sexy rolled up sleeves before getting to the mirror for a dryer.

 

"You're changing your hair color back?" Chad blinked.

 

"Of course, I spent good money on that, I just can't send it to Recycle Bin." He answered the question with an attitude reminded Chad too much of Sharpay, but then he laughed when he saw Chad's look. "How about I say this Blond Hat-wearing Ryan is the real Ryan, and the Pink-haired Hatless Ryan is just a sparkling image my publicist created for my career? People won't recognize me with blond hair. You are the only one who knows my secret, and you can have this Blond Ryan, the real one, for yourself?"

 

"Okay, Clark Kent," Chad folded his arms and smirk. "Turn the dryer on and be the Superman this world needs you to be."

 

Twenty minutes later and Ryan was driving him to the conference building on his billion dollar car. He seemed to know the streets like the back of his hand, needed no Google map to get there once Chad said the building's name. Then when Chad got out of the car and say that he would see him at lunch, Ryan kissed his cheek and refused.

 

He said he had to go til late, not being able to spend lunch and dinner with Chad, cause his work was just ridiculous, and he was so sorry for that. Chad shook his head, saying he would wait for Ryan until he comes home, and waved him goodbye, heading to the building.

 

Chad spent the evening trying to win the dogs' hearts with the help of Kelsi, since he was dating their papa after all, and glanced at the clock once in a while. 

 

It was fun to see how extremely large dogs, normally considered dangerous for others, can be so harmless and obedient. Kelsi said she and Ryan spent a great deal of time training them for good behaviour ever since their arrival at the apartment. However, Chad knew it wasn't just strict training that got them into the line. It was also love, adore and loyalty to Ryan and Kelsi that made them so happy to do anything for their papa and mama. Ryan's apartment and Kelsi's had a door joining them in the kitchen, and the door is always open, so the girls could easily go back and forth between them whenever they want and protecting Kelsi as well as Ryan twenty four seven. They both feel safer with them around, sleeping next to their beds.

 

The girls were really cautious with strangers, always in the position to defend their papa and mama at any moment, so it took Chad some time to gain their trusts. They didn't attack him yesterday of course, since Ryan and Kelsi told them to leave him alone and he was a guest, but not until today did they really decide to stop looking at him like they couldn't wait to chew his head off. Even the Golden Retriever, unbelievable.

 

They spent fifteen minutes just to sniff at him, everywhere. He had to sit still and do nothing (at Kelsi's giggles) until they were all used to his scent. Then he talked to and offered a hand to every single one of them. They then slowly let him touch them, caressing their warm fur. A few treats later, Chad found himself surrounded by the cutest, nicest and greatest little girls in the world.

 

It was late, so Kelsi decided to go back to her apartment and call it a day. Chad gave her a warm hug, she kissed his cheek, and left. It was midnight already and Ryan was still nowhere to be found.

 

Chad turned on the TV for some sports, laying on the couch with five giant dogs curled into fur balls around him, waiting for Ryan. He didn't know when he drifted off, but in his unconscious state, a period of time later, he could feel the warm fur balls leaving him for one moment, and the next they came back with another source of warmth which lay down next to him and snuggled into his arms. He held the warmth closer and really, truly fell asleep.


	12. Of dates and dance floors

It was fun being on the "first date" with Chad. He was different from all of Ryan's previous boyfriends: no fancy dinner at a restaurant, no suit and tie, no red wine or too polite and fake flirtation. They wore their casual t shirts and jeans, Chad shaved and styled his hair, Ryan was blond and had a black fedora with a navy blue band neatly placed on his head. It brought back so many memories in Chad that he pulled him into a kiss right the moment he saw Ryan in the hat. He smiled to himself everytime he thought that this was the real Ryan, not the cover he created for public, and Chad was the only one who got to see, know and love him.

 

They spent the night wandering around the city, visiting all of the fun places Ryan knew. An ice skating centre, the Central Park, a fair, some coffee shops and bars, and the most famous buildings of New York. It couldn't be more cheerful learning about this place with anyone else. They didn't let go of each other's hands, with ice cream and cotton candy in the other. They walked and talked about all the meaningless, useless little things in the world, their day at work, the annoying dicks they met in the day, laughed more than any of them could remember, and enjoyed the view of the beautiful, sparkling city that had been Ryan's home for years. It really does fit him and his personality. It was totally understandable why Ryan loved staying here so much, and Chad slowly grew the fond for the place too. It was the contrast of his silent, dark and boring neighborhood in Albuquerque.

 

But the best thing about this date so far wasn't the sight, or the cute Batman slushie Chad won for Ryan from a game at the fair that he kept hugging all the time. The best thing was how the blond never bother to conceal the fact that he fell head over heels for Chad. He wasn't ashamed, or dissapointed in Chad like his ex lovers were. He openly expressed his feelings towards Chad to all of the strangers at the fair, sang love songs to him every fifteen minutes no matter where they were, and how he proudly presented Chad to all of his bartender friends as his boyfriend. He glowed with adore and pride, his smile sunny and carefree. It made Chad melted in delight, and he held Ryan's hand tighter. 

 

It was great to be appriciated, loved and proud of. And great to know how serious Ryan was about this relationship. The bartender guys in the coffee shop congratulated him and told him Ryan had never introduced his love interests to them before, that he must be a lucky guy. Some of them asked Ryan how the two of them met, and where did Chad come from, since he obviously didn't live in the city. So he told them they first set eyes on each other in a baseball game a really long time ago, Ryan convinced Chad that he could sing and dance for a show and then when Chad finally said yes, he put on the performance and taught Chad to do it on the stage. And Chad lived in Albuquerque, his hometown. He lived there, worked there, and didn't have any chance to get to New York with Ryan, but they would figure it out and eventually be together. Maybe Ryan would find a way to go back with him in Albuquerque.

 

The words suddenly stung Chad in the gut. Ryan didn't show any irritation from them being separated all the time, but Chad knew it was terrible to do that to him. And to himself. They both agreed that distance would ruined their relationship ten years ago, such a mature decision, and now when they were all adults, they decided to keep doing it anyway like some reckless teenagers. He wanted to be with Ryan, and to get out to the world instead of locking himself in Albuquerque with his parents and sisters.

 

He was sick of that place. Yes, of course he loved his hometown, but he was also fed up with the same house, the same neighborhood that he had to stayed in for his whole life. Nothing in his life ever changed, even his own apartment was not far from his home, and the scenery wasn't at all different. The people around him were still nosy, judgemental and mean as they always were, and his job was slowly sucking life out of him. Nothing like this energetic, shining city, and no one here spent time judging him and Ryan together. They either didn't care, or be happy for their relationship. And Ryan was here. Only after more than twenty four hours living in the same apartment with him, Chad already wanted to have babies with this man (not that he could, but he wanted to). He really wanted to see if the thing between them was going anywhere. If he could have an opportunity to come here, he would drop everything behind and ran to Ryan.

 

"Ryan's boyfriend!" He turned around immediately, knowing that was the name the bartender guys chose for him from now til the day he died (or the day they broke up).

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Why don't you go out there and dance with him?" The brunette whispered, hand gestured to the dance floor. "I've never seen him dancing before. He was there for ten minutes already."

 

Chad's eyes went wide as he really paid attention to the tangled mess of bodies on the dance floor in the middle of the bar. Shit, he kept asking himself if the figure he saw out there was Ryan, but he persuaded himself that it couldn't be. Ryan left for the bathroom half an hour ago, and Chad sat on the bar waited for him with their drinks. He saw a familiar body swinging on the dance floor, but from a far distance and the thought that Ryan would never set foot on anywhere full of people dancing anymore that stopped him from recognize the man. He put his glass down and looked more closely.

 

It was Ryan, with his slim figure, silvery blond hair and the dark fedora. Chad thought he could never see Ryan dance again in his life, and he couldn't stop himself from being grateful for the gods that had listened to his prayer. He couldn't understand why, but he looked at Ryan for a long time. He missed the way he moved along with the music. Every move of his body was full of grace, carefully organized to draw attention from others, every sway of his hips, every step of his feet, he really was a star on that dance floor, a magnet that attract every look of admire and want from everyone else. Chad smiled and looked at him for a while more, let the beautiful image printed deeply into his memory.

 

But then something interrupted him. A raven haired with tanned skin guy approached Ryan on the dance floor and started flirting with him. He tried to speak, but just like Chad, Ryan knew his intention and pretended not to hear him in the loud music, then quickly disappeared from the guy's claws, to another section of the floor, out of Chad's sight. The guy of course, didn't give up, and went to look for him. Chad decided it was the moment to put on his shining armour and went to rescue his beauty.

 

He found Ryan before the flirting guy did, luckily. The blond didn't know he was there, and never stopped dancing, a beaming grin on his face when a new song was turned on. That must be his favorite, Chad noted to his head, he didn't know all of Ryan's playlist, only a few songs he liked from high school. He silently slid up to behind Ryan, wrapped his arms around the narrow waist, and kissed his neck.

 

Ryan freaked out for a second, tried to get out of his grasp, but right when he recognized the familiar scent, the curly dark hair and muscular arms, he hooked an arm around the neck of the man behind him and grinded down on his body.

 

"I saw you have a secret admirer over there." Chad growled in his ears, bit it playfully.

 

"Not much of a secret." The blond rolled his eyes. "I've seen arrogant, spoiled rich brats that used their cocks to think instead of their brains a thousand times before."

 

"How do you know he was like that?" Chad asked, pushed his body closer to Ryan, and started moving with him to the music.

 

"I can just tell." The blond shrugged. "The way he talked to me, the words he used and his expressions. He thought I was gonna jump him right there because he was oh so sexy."

 

"Why didn't you?" Chad teased again, swayed his hips following Ryan's. He hadn't dance for a long time now, and doing it with the hottie was so much of a satisfaction. "He looked hot."

 

"He's not my type." Ryan laughed, and kissed him. Sucked hungrily at his lips. 

 

The smirk never left Chad's mouth when they kissed and danced around and grinded down on each other. 

 

"I don't think I was ever gonna see you dancing again." He gently trailed his hand down the blond's thighs, groping the flesh eventually. 

 

"Yeah... Sorry about leaving you at the bar." Ryan kissed his cheeks. "I didn't intend to, but someone pulled me up here, and I just..."

 

"I'm not mad at you for dancing," Chad turned him around and pulled him close. "I just don't think you would dance. After, you know... You said you couldn't dance yourself."

 

"I can't dance, and this isn't dancing." The blond shook his head slowly, let their forehead touch. "This is just mindlessly swaying on the floor with spontaneous movements. Real dancing needs choreography, organizing, calculating. Compicated moves and techniques."

 

"You looked stunning doing any one those two." Chad couldn't help himself blurting out his thoughts.

 

"Thank you." The other one chuckled. "It was very nice of you to say so. That's why I didn't like that flirting guy the first moment he opened his mouth. I must have been used to your...polite and delicate compliments."

 

"Just admit that I'm hotter than him." Chad bit his lips, and he broke out a laugh.

 

"But are you hurt?" Chad lifted his chin up a bit to look at him in the eyes. "Your legs..."

 

"I'm okay." Ryan kissed his fingers. "Like I told you, this is not real dancing. I can handle that. Just...need a moment with the music."

 

"Then that's g..." Chad flinched. "That's my favorite song!" He grinned and started dancing himself.

 

Ryan happily followed his moves. "Nicki Minaj? Seriously, my dear?" 

 

Chad leaned over to kiss him and shut him up. He obediently wrapped his arms around the other one's neck, melted into the kiss and moved with him. Chad totally showed him how he swing that night.


	13. Of keys and trust

Chad kept twirling the keys in his hand, the sound of the speech lost in his ears. The set of keys Ryan left on the table with a note next to a large breakfast and a cup of Chad's favorite type of coffee. The promising smell of cheese, beef steak and crunchy french fries pulled Chad out of the bed an hour after Ryan left the apartment.

 

Ryan seemed to be too busy with his shooting for the movie to spend a full day with Chad, but he didn't mind. Even when Ryan was an excellent actor, according to Chad's opinion, he could still see the tiredness and pressure that showed in his eyes and exhausted smile. The only time they had some fun in the bedroom was Chad's first night in New York, which was Sunday. Since the beginning of the week, work had drained out Ryan's energy so thoroughly that he slept like a log the second his back hit the bed. Chad would tenderly stroke his back, massage his sore legs, and held him in his sleep.

 

But somehow he still gathered enough strength and time to go out and have dates with Chad everyday, or at least spend a morning with him and take him to work. Chad said that he could give himself a break and both of them would just stay home, order out and watch some movies instead, but Ryan insisted on making the best out of Chad's time here. He wanted to make everyday a new adventure for Chad. Every evening, to be correct.

 

Doesn't mean Chad was any less happy to feel Ryan's kiss on his hair every morning before he went to the studio.  
This morning, he made Chad breakfast and went out to buy him coffee. He left a set of keys on the table with a small note telling Chad which one was for the apartment door, which one was for the car, and which one was for the garage in the basement of the apartment building. An action so naturally, but somehow meant so much to Chad. He kept thinking about it all morning.

 

This set of keys was not Ryan's. He just had it made earlier, and gave it to Chad so Chad could keep it. Really kept it like it was his. People don't give the keys to their apartment to just anybody. They only did that to the ones they wanted to move in, have a life with. Someone they trusted and considered important in their lives. And he hadn't even mentioned the car. It must have cost a fortune, the smell of the leather only had made Chad shiver. And he, of all people in the world, got to drive it to work. He asked why didn't Ryan drive it, but the blond just shook his head and said he had another mean of transport.

 

Chad wondered if this meant something, or he was just overthinking things. Did Ryan suggested Chad to move in with him? It was impossible and so possible at once. He knew Chad's place was in Albuquerque, and the time they spent together here would end soon. And Chad needed keys to get in and out of the apartment in order to go to work, so it would be reasonable for him to have them. But Chad couldn't help making things up in his head. And questions lead to imaginations.

 

What would it feel like, living here with the blond? His pathetic lovesick heart jumped excitedly at the thoughts. Ryan cooked his breakfast this morning, and it was delicious. Much better than all of the cold, greasy meals Chad absent mindedly had all over the years, cause he was too lazy to cook. Waking up to see Ryan in the kitchen cooking for him, or waking up to go to the kitchen and cook for Ryan seemed to be such a beautiful vision. But his adult brain told him they only spent half a week together. It would take more than that to really know if they could really get along. There were always little nameless things in daily lives that could make them uncomfortable with each other. Like if he was a messy, lazy person, or a neat and clean one. If he wash his dishes after every meal, or before, leaving dirty plates all over the sink. Chad had a roommate before in college, and he knew what it's like finding out the guy you thought to be so cool and awesome was actually a sloppy mess.

 

Or even so, time could reveal a lot of conflict between people in terms of thinking, not just lifestyle. In all the years he knew Ryan, the blond had always been a perfect match for him, making him laugh, smile with the wit and adore the delicacy in every word that left his mouth, every action of his. But it had been too long. Maybe when they started living together, they found out some terrible clash. Like Chad was a non believer but Ryan could be a Christian, or a Buddhist, or a Muslim or something.

 

Chad sighed and dropped the keys on the table. He never realized how far his thoughts had brought him. Living a married life with his three month boyfriend? Good God. It must have growed from the one single thought of leaving his horrifyingly boring job to come to New York with Ryan.

 

He texted Ryan some sweet caring questions about how he was doing at the studio, and then quickly set the thoughts aside to focus back to work.

 

.  
.  
.

 

Chad came home to see the girls happily wagged their tails welcoming him. He patted each of them on the head, and was about to go change when he heard hiccups and silent crying from the other apartment. It was Kelsi's apartment, and the sound had to come from her.

 

He hurriedly got in, looked around for the tiny figure of the girl. She was sitting on the floor, curled up into a ball, face buried in her knees. Her shoulder shook from the intense waves of emotions. Chad wasted no time getting closer and gave her a hug. The dogs quickly came in after him, gathered around the two of them, rubbed their furs into Kelsi's lap.

 

Kelsi finally realized Chad was there, and clung to him, bursted into painful sobs. He didn't know what to do to calm her down, stiffly patted her back, rocking her gently like his mother did when his sister was crying. A million questions flared in his head. What happened? What terrible thing happened that made her cried so hard she couldn't form words?

 

He looked around blankly, tried to find out what happened, and immediately, he saw some thing was definitely wrong. Oh god, his eyes open wide as he scanned the apartment. So many things that he swore he saw them yesterday, was not there anymore. The flat screen TV, the stove, the fridge, the microwave, the original paintings hung on the wall, the statues and decorations Ryan bought her as gifts, every valuable thing ever existed in Kelsi's apartment, gone. 

 

Kelsi looked up through her tears and saw his panic eyes. She squeezed his arm and shook violently, more tears running down her face. He decided not to ask her any question, just slowly and gently helped her to get up and sit on the couch. Chad tried to get back to Ryan's apartment to get her something, but she didn't let go of him. And never stopped crying. Even the girls couldn't lick all of her tears.

 

It felt like hours of helpless agony until Ryan came home. The girls ran out to lead him to their place, and when he saw the two of them, he dropped everything in his hands to ran to them.

 

Chad had never seen Ryan appeared so worried. He frowned, his eyes confused, sat down next to them. He almost looked like he could cry himself. Kelsi's crying eventually died down a bit, and Ryan hugged her tightly. When they let go of each other, she suddenly found her voice, cracking and trembling among tears.

 

"Cher... She took everything..."

 

"Cher? Cheryl Gardner?" Ryan blinked. "Your girlfriend?"

 

"I..." Kelsi sobbed. "I thought we could be more...serious with our...relationship... So I gave her the...the key and asked her to...move in..."

 

"How could she get passed the girls?" Ryan asked, he was still too shocked to really think of anything.

 

"She asked me to take them to... dog daycare today... She said she wanted me to spend more time with...them..."

 

"And then the bitch opened the door, got in and took everything?" Ryan growled, and Chad could feel Kelsi flinched in his arms. God, he could be so terrifying. Ryan looked around, fury burned in his eyes, face redden.

 

"Ryan, I'm sorry... She... She took some things from yours too, I... I was so stupid I thought... God I don't even know if... If Cheryl was her real name..."

 

"Get her to bed for me please, Chad?" He got up from the couch, voice suddenly so cold every word pierce through the air like frozen pikes. "I'm gonna have to talk to the police."

 

He marched to the door, and Kelsi started crying again. "Ryan, please, I'm sorry, I..."

 

"You don't have to be sorry for anything." He looked over his shoulder. "But I'll make sure that bitch is gonna be sorry."

 

Chad sighed when Ryan stormed through the door and disappeared. Being betrayed and robbed by someone you love, realizing they only there for your money, how could Kelsi recover from this wound?

 

.  
.  
.

 

"Is Kelsi asleep?" Ryan's quiet voice was behind him, and he turned around, nodded his head.

 

"What did she take from you?" Chad asked, face clearly worried.

 

"Some stuff. I gave the police a list of every single item, but I don't even care." He sat on the bed next to Chad. "I just want them to know how serious this is."

 

"So... It was really true? Kelsi's girlfriend broke in and took your stuff and hers?" 

 

Ryan nodded. "I saw the security cameras. It was her." His anger came back again. "God, I'm gonna crush this bitch into pieces... How could she do that to Kelsi..."

 

Chad reached out to pull Ryan into his arms and held him close. "Kelsi will get over this, don't worry... And yes, we will crush this bitch into pieces. We will."

 

Ryan stopped clenching his jaw and, looked up at Chad.

 

"What's wrong?" Chad asked, confused, but didn't let go of him.

 

"I gave you the key to my apartment, too." He said, his voice so soft it was almost couldn't be heard.

 

"I can give it back to you," Chad panicked. "I swear, I will never do anything like that..."

 

Ryan kissed him. Arms wrapped around his shoulders, body pressed against him. His lips softly brushed agains Chad's words, silenced them.

 

When they parted, Ryan's lips hovered above Chad's, warm and wet. 

 

"I'm so much luckier than Kelsi for having you." He whispered.


	14. Of the inside insecurity

Ryan stood a few feet from the door of Kelsi's apartment, arms crossed in front of his chest as he observed the employees of the furniture company moving in and out of the threshold. He called the moving service an hour ago to purchase the replacement for all of the stolen things from their home, and now watching carefully as they them inside and gave them instructions on how to put the appliances in place. 

 

The company was in a warm relationship with Evans Inc, so he was certain about the excellent quality of all the stuff. He promised himself to pay everything and take care of everything around the house on his own, but it doesn't hurt to sometimes use his parents' connections to make sure he got the best things he needed. And this time it wasn't even his needs, it was for Kelsi. He was still paying for those with his own credit card after all. 

 

Sharpay stood next to him with hands on her hips, commanding the employees to go faster. Ryan had to cut her off from time to time to release some of the tension, and he smiled at the grateful gaze they gave him. It's funny how he always got to be the good cop. Being a bad cop had been Sharpay's nature.

 

"I'm really sorry for what happened to poor little Kelsi, and I hate to say it to you but it was a fool of her to trust that girl." She whispered to him after looking around for Kelsi's figure.

 

"It was. She made a dumb mistake, but I couldn't think of how it could go differently." Ryan sighed. "I mean, every normal relationship goes on like that. They met, they dated, and after a long while they moved to another level. Kelsi and that girl had been together for years. No signs of bad things that would happen."

 

"Playing a role for years just to steal stuff from people, she sure was persistent." Sharpay raised her eyebrows.

 

"The cops found out about her and called me yesterday." Ryan touched the rim of his hat thoughtfully. "Said she had been doing that to many other people for quite a long time so she could gather money for her boyfriend and they would both escape to another city to start a new life. They found out her real name, her history, her boyfriend, and where they lived, but when they got there, the two of them had already gone. The search is still going on."

 

"They'll get her soon. I'm sure mommy and daddy would hire an army of lawyer to throw that bitch in jail." She nodded her head with certainty and patted his back. "How is Kelsi?"

 

"She's drowning herself in work to get her mind off this thing." He muttered. "I'll just take care of the rest. She really doesn't have to deal with all of this any longer."

 

"You never know what people have up their sleeves." Sharpay bit her lip, and Ryan looked at her.

 

"What?"

 

"Nothing. What do you mean?" She blinked innocently, but his frown deepened.

 

"Just say it." He glared at her.

 

For one second, she tried to deny it, but then she decided to spit it out. "You are doing the same with Chad! Aren't you a little worry about that? What could happen?"

 

"You are worried about if Chad was gonna flee the city taking all of the stuff in my apartment and my car with him?" 

 

"I couldn't imagine something like that, we've known him since we were in high school." Sharpay pinched her forehead. "But I can't help myself feeling bad about..."

 

"In the past week, he had more chance to trick me and betray me than that bitch had to trick Kelsi for years. He didn't do any of it, he cared for the girls and my roommate as if they were his own family, and he kept everything in this apartment neatly in place." Ryan calmly explained. "I think I can trust him with my life."

 

Sharpay opened her mouth to protest, but an employee came closer with paper and pen in her hands and asked.

 

"Mr Evans? Do you want us to install the alarm system to your apartment right now or later?"

 

"Right now would be wonderful." Ryan showed her his gentlest curve of his lips. "Thank you, Tysha."

 

The girl blushed and went away.

 

"Trust him with your life, huh?" Sharpay smirked, and Ryan shrugged.

 

"But not with my properties. Seriously, do you think I've been my father's son for twenty eight years and have no secure plans for my life? I'm not an idiot, sister dear."

 

"So how does this alarm really work?" She walked towards Ryan's door to look at the staff working on the alarm.

 

"It will ring and send warnings immediately to me and the local police station when any furniture in the house was moved out of the door." And he also set some tracking app in Chad's phone and laptop just for safety, but no one needs to know.

 

Speak of the devil, the blond rolled his eyes when saw his car pulled up in the apartment building. A few minutes later, the curly haired man got to the seventh floor where their apartments located, and he saw the twins immediately. His legs slowed down a bit, but Ryan had already seen him and waved him hello.

 

"You're home early." He got closer to held the blond in his arms and they shared a heated kiss.

 

"Gotta buy everything back for Kelsi." Ryan licked his lips playfully. "And some problems at my dance studio."

 

"Everything alright?" Chad tilted his head, and Ryan nodded.

 

"Kelsi went out to take care of it. I think she's trying to work non stop until she's too exhausted to think about anything before going to sleep." He caressed Chad's stubbled chin.

 

"Get a room, you two." Sharpay tapped her fingers on her side, and Ryan laughed.

 

"Miss Sharpay?"

 

"Not really." Chad mumbled, and Ryan laughed out loud again.

 

"Come one, you two got along great last time!" He took both of their hands and pulled them inside. "Let's have a drink. I'm sure there's a lot of fun things for you two to talk about."

 

.  
.  
.

 

"She was...different." Chad finally said when Ryan closed the door.

 

"Yeah, lots of things happened since you last saw her." The blond helped Chad cleaned up the table. Their conversation was longer than expected with the lemon cake Ryan brought home specially for his sister's visit. 

 

"She was so irritating in high school." Chad winced. "Bossy, arrogant and loud. And garish. Her pink glitter poked me in the eyes."

 

Ryan chuckled. "And now?"

 

"She's... more like you." Chad shrugged when he put the plates in the sink and turned on the water. Both of them didn't feel like having dinner with a belly full of tea and that gigantic cake, so they would just start washing the dishes.

 

"And how, exactly, is me?" Ryan raised an eyebrow, stood closer next to him and placed the sponge in his hand.

 

"You know, subtle. Polite. Humble. Kind. Friendly." He listed all of his favorite things about Ryan, watching the other's face widen in a mischievous smile. "Thoughtful. Caring. Smart. Charming. Beautiful."

 

"You think my sister is beautiful?" The blond shook his head slowly, tapped on Chad's hand to rush him to start washing the plates. "Should I be jealous?"

 

"You asked what I thought of you." Chad leaned over to put a quick peck on his jaw. "Your sister is half of those."

 

Ryan pushed on his shoulder, couldn't hide his giggles. "Get the soap and just finish this already."

 

Fifteen minutes later, they ended up cuddling on the couch watching movies on Ryan's brand new television. Chad carefully massage the other's long, slim legs in his lap, listening to him singing to all of the songs in the movie. It was satisfying to know that many of Ryan's fans would do anything to be able to listen to one more song of his, and Chad could do that anytime he wanted, as long as he liked. His voice was not at all like any other male singer, of course, it was softer, higher and warmer in Chad's ears. And to see Ryan closed his eyes and sang passionately to his favorite songs made Chad wanted nothing more than to squeeze him into his arms.

 

And Ryan even changed some of the words to make the song fit for their relationship. He looked at Chad everytime he did, and Chad showered him with little kisses. 

 

This, he thought, is how he wanted to spend his days. All days, everyday. To come home from work and have dinner with this stunning man. To help him with everything in his life, make it warmer and easier, less lonely and cold. To hold him, kiss him and being kissed back.

 

Ryan was not any kind of lover he had in the past. The way he cared for Chad was genuine, and he was way more...gallant to Chad than all of his previous girlfriends. A weird thing to say, but perhaps that's how all of the gay people feel, being with their loved ones. Chad didn't have to always be the one spoiling the other with gifts, cooking and sweet talk, he could also be the one being spoilt. He didn't have to always be the listening and comforting the other, but could also be listened, advised and encouraged. Ryan could be so skillful with his tongue, both making words and other stuff. 

 

He almost tripped over a large bouquet of rose in the kitchen when he woke up the other morning, and when he turned on the lights, the whole room was filled with various types and sizes of flowers bouquets and baskets. Among them, on the kitchen counter, was a yellow note with Ryan's handwriting, "I don't know what you like, so I took them all." Or the box of his favorite mid day snack he saw Ryan putting in his bag before he went to work. They could talk for hours in the evening about their day, and even when his stories of marketing and meeting potential clients were run of the mill comparing to Ryan's adventure in the studio (he played a serial killer in a horror movie, wearing dark robes and a mask, carrying a knife around terrorizing and killing off the main characters one by one, and somehow still live among them as day without any of them noticing), the other one never stopped listening to every single word of his with sarcastic comments and gossiping about his boss with him. Sometimes he gave Chad a few advice on how to persuade, or please the hardass rich clients, ("since I'm one of them"), and it worked out very well.

 

Chad didn't want this to stop. 

 

"I don't want this to stop." Ryan suddenly whispered, head tucked under Chad's chin.

 

"You don't want what to stop?" Chad got off from his train of thoughts and had no clue about what Ryan was referring to.

 

"This." The blond hugged him tighter, snuggled closer. "Living with you."

 

"Yeah, me neither."

 

"Have you done packing?" Ryan asked softly. "There were still some clothes of yours that I left in the laundry last night."

 

"About that, yeah." Chad's face split into a wide grin. He was supposed to leave the city and come back to Albuquerque tomorrow morning, but the weather forecast (and Ryan's sore legs) said there would be a storm in the flight's path, so he could stay a couple more days.

 

"What? What are you smiling about?" Ryan asked, he looked at Chad suspiciously.

 

"Something wrong with the weather, so I can't fly back yet." Chad grinned. "I get to stay here a few more days."

 

"Holy shit," Ryan punched him in the chest. "You knew about it and said nothing to me?"

 

"Why?" Chad held his wrist and smirked. "You were so afraid to let me go that you could turn into a wet sloppy mess of tears any second?"

 

"Oh my god!" Ryan screamed in frustration. "I had to gave up a whole afternoon at work to come home with you and now you tell me you can stay?!"

 

"Only some more days." Chad hardened his grip when Ryan tried to get his hands away. "And you know you love spending time with me."

 

"Arrghhh!" The blond looked like he wanted to bang his head on the table, and it was too cute Chad pulled him in to kiss him. Yes, this is how he wanted to spend his days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted Ryan to be deeply in love with Chad, but somehow still very cautious about his actions, since he had been through so many toxic relationship in the past.  
> He wanted to trust Chad, but he had to have more time to really believe in someone.


	15. Of the glorious past and the painful present part 2

Chad's days at the conference ended the afternoon three days before, so now he had nothing to do at the apartment when Ryan had to go to work. He spent only one day being a spoilt lazy child rolling around in the large space of the apartment and he had already been fed up with it. He walked the girls for Ryan later so the blond could have some more time to sleep, and he took them to the park for some games and moving his muscles. They made him feel a lot less lonely when he was at home the whole day, but still, it wasn't enough. Chad realized he didn't just want to go out, see the sun and have some fresh air, but he also wanted to dive in the busy, noisy pace of life in this large city. He wanted to see more of the people and places in the light of day, not just the girls and staying in four walls, so after seeing Chad so miserble without him, Ryan offered him to go to his studio in the center of the city.

 

The idea was so exciting Chad couldn't stop thinking about it all evening. Ryan said Kelsi was still in a lot of pain, and she was working too hard to cover her own wounds, so he wanted Chad to be with her in case something bad happened. She was extremely busy with her work as a professional pianist in orchestras and concerts, but she also took charge at the studio for Ryan when his manager bailed him. Chad had one mission, is to go there, take care of her and pull her back to the apartment for dinner in a certain point of time before she exhaust herself.

 

Chad nodded confidently, saying he would make sure Kelsi had all the support she needed, and winced at Ryan's suspicious gaze. The car was scratched terribly that day on Chad's way to the studio, oh god, who would think this place could be so crowded, and Kelsi had to go with him to the garage for a retouch.

 

Then they came back to the studio by cab and she took him for a tour. The talking seemed to distract her a bit from the hurtful memories somehow kept coming back to her any moment.

 

Ryan saved his money from selling albums and singing at concerts for a couple of years to open this studio. It's location had been more expensive than anything else, lying in the main square. It was a rather large building, consisted of three smaller studios: a filming studio, a recording studio, and a dancing studio. They all looked clean, bright, modern and well-taken care of. Ryan recorded most of his and Kelsi's songs there, and some of the scenes in his films were also filmed there. The rest of the time, it was rented by various people for their own business, and that was where he needed a manager. His last manager took care of all the information about who rented which studio, when they used it, and the financial aspects of owning a building that Ryan couldn't understand.

 

But something happened, maybe the guy found out some more appealing position somewhere else, so he dropped the job out of the blue and left Ryan in a mess of people screaming about how it's not their turn to use the studio yet. He panicked and ran around not knowing how to deal with that, until Kelsi saw him and decided to come in to help.

 

She did a fantastic job, took over everything the guy left behind swiftly and started running the machine smoothly a few days after. Both Ryan and Chad couldn't get how could she managed to create that kind of magic, but Kelsi just smirked at them and left. Well, at least she smiles now.

 

She led Chad to the dancing studio last and let him stay there a bit longer. He didn't know if all of the dancing studios looked the same, or this one looked so much like the one he saw in Lava Springs, Ryan and Sharpay's parents country club. Its polished mustard color wooden floor could make anyone want to dance on it. The large walls were covered with full length mirrors that reflected every smallest movement of you so the others could see. It was so bright, too bright even, with all of the lights on the ceiling, and the newest model of speaker sets attached next to them. There was a piano in the corner of the room, and the control system of the speakers stood near it. Standing in the room, seeing so many reflections of himself surrounding him reminded him of the time he, the Wildcats and Ryan had rehearsals in Lava Springs for the Mid summer night talent show. 

 

It was fun, really, added to his already too big crush on Ryan. He never paid attention to the whole singing and dancing part of the school before, and it was the first time he realized how much of a performer Ryan could be. His organizing pleased everyone joining the show, made everyone feel like they were a star and a team at the same time. The choreography was wonderful: creative and energetic, and what could Chad say, it was what get him to Julliard.

 

"Ryan missed this studio more than he thought." Kelsi said, sat on the piano and played a light melody.

 

"He must have danced here a lot before the accident, hm?" Chad wandered around, touching everything in his reach.

 

"He used to have classes here." She answered with a tiny fracture of pride in her voice. "He taught people how to dance in a really, really high level. He said he loved bossing people around, but everyone knew he adored spreading his love of dancing to people around him."

 

"Really?" Chad smiled. "It was awesome!"

 

"Yeah, until that drunk ass hit him and ran over his legs with a car and he never came back into this room again." Kelsi cut him off bitterly, and her face darkened in a second. It scared him, the way Kelsi and Ryan's anger flared like explosions across their faces whenever they saw the other one was hurt. Kelsi must have been with Ryan the whole time, suing the life out of the drunk driver and held him when he cried, like he did for her when she found out that Cheryl bitch betrayed her.

 

"You know, I... I saw him on the dance floor the other night and came to dance with him." Chad said, eyebrows knitted together.

 

"Really? When? How?" Her eyes widen.

 

"In his favorite night club. He took me there in a tour around the city." Chad sat down on the floor. "He said someone pulled him there, and he couldn't resist the temptation. He danced beautifully you know, I couldn't get my eyes off him."

 

"Did he have fun?"

 

Chad nodded. "Yes. He laughed and moved around non stop. Rubbing on me all over." His voice went tiny. "Yeah, you don't have to know that. Anyway, I asked him why he told me he couldn't dance. He said he really couldn't, and that wasn't dancing."

 

"Ah, that." Kelsi sighed and smiled. "It was annoyingly stubborn of him. He only considered his 'professional hardcore dancing'," She made the quotation mark with her fingers, "In the major of dancing in Julliard real dancing, and only pursue one goal, is to be able to master that. Everything else, only for amateurs. And not decent dancing."

 

"What, that's dumb." Chad blinked, and Kelsi laughed.

 

"Don't let him hear you say that." 

 

"No, really." Chad said. "I mean, he danced beautifully that night. And our senior year show in high school, he also thought it was not real dancing?"

 

"It was below his ability and potential, I guess." She shrugged. "That's part of what made him so miserble after all this time. He could still dance like we did in high school, but he didn't accept that, and since his legs couldn't afford flipping four rounds in the air or throwing himself onto his stage partner's body, he concluded that his chance of dancing is dead."

 

Chad didn't reply. He admired Ryan's talents and intelligence, but heck, that thought was absolutely utterly ridiculous. He was put in a horrible situation, nothing could change that, but he made it worse by doing that to himself. No matter what kind of dance he did, it made him glowed with passion and love. He kept himself from his passion in all these years and tortured his own heart and mind with it. That's not right. Chad couldn't let that continue any longer. He had to do something.

 

"Uh, Miss?" A strange voice at the door made both of them jump. "Excuse me, I'm from Campbellhal High school? We had an appointment..."

 

"Yeah, sure." Kelsi stood up and Chad followed her out of the door. "I'm sorry, have you been waiting long?"

 

"Not so long." The owner of the voice, a tall, muscular high school student, shook his head. 

 

"I've found out a time fitting all of your timetable that you can practice and rehearse in our studio." She walked quickly to the center office, turning on the computer.

 

"Wow, you really did?" The boy smiled in surprise. A bunch of other boys in the same age was waiting in the office for a time, sat on the chairs with various reactions.

 

"Yes, here it is." Kelsi showed him the schedule. "Quite a lot of time, actually. I'm sure it would be enough for you to perfect the number."

 

Chad looked at the high school boys and saw them having many different emotions. Some of them, nervous. Some else, exciting. The others, just confused. What are they doing here, exactly? Renting a place in a studio? What do high school lads have anything to do with a studio?

 

"I'm not really sure, the movements were rather difficult." The boy scratched his neck. "We couldn't do it without someone guiding us."

 

"Are you looking for a teacher?" Kelsi flipped through the list on her screen. "We have some here that might have time for you."

 

"That would be great!" The boy's face lit in relief. "That's all we need!"

 

"Well, let me check on with them for the last time about your number to see who fits the most, and I'll contact you later, okay?" Kelsi smiled politely, and stood up to lead the way. "Come on, I'll show you where you'll be practicing for your show."

 

And the boys followed her. Chad, with his damned curiosity, trailed behind them to see where they really went. They were high school students, what were they doing here? Were they going to shoot a movie or something? Was that even illegal? And Kelsi led them to the exact room she had been with Chad a few minutes ago. The dancing room.

 

The hyperactive boys flooded into the room, looking around and at themselves in the mirrors with awe. Chad came behind Kelsi and poked her shoulder.

 

"Hey. What are they planning to do here?" He asked in the lowest volume. "Are they really high school students?"

 

"Yeah." She looked at them worriedly, in fear that they might break something. "They had a number in the show at school, so they paid Ryan for the choreography and rent the place for sometime to come and practice."

 

"Jeez, what kind of high schoolers can afford professional choreography and studios?" Chad winced.

 

"The rich kind." She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

Chad looked at the kids again. They were so much like the Wildcats the first time they set foot in a large dancing studio. Excited and curious. And they were practicing the dance moves Ryan created for them, just like the Wildcats did. Only this time...

 

Wait. Wait a minute.  
Chad got an idea.


	16. Of vengeance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking if I should put this revenge part into the fic, cause it seemed to be too mean, but after reconsidering how the Cheryl bitch tricked Kelsi, I decided to leave it in.  
> So here's the part where Cheryl got what she deserved.

Ryan strolled leisurely around the shelves full of colorful flowers and a small smile on his lips. It was no doubt his favorite flower shop in the whole city: _The Glass House_ , with the unique vintage style of the furniture, the way they displayed their flowers and the friendly staff. His eyes wandered from one flower to another, sometimes reached up to gently touch a thin petal. They grew flowers in this shop, real flowers on shelves that were filled with only water and nutrions, and cut the ones their customers wanted to make the bouquets. The ceilings were made of full glass, with an open trapeze that the sunshine could went directly through and lit up the shop magically. It was like being lost in heaven.

  
A dark haired woman walked into the shop and the bell rang cheerfully. He stopped walking to look up and see her. The fact that the lean figure could move straight to him across the whole shop in a few seconds surprised him. This woman really is taking no bullshit.

  
"I found her." The woman whispered to him, and he smiled, knowing she would have done the job better than all of the NYPD.

  
"Great. Her relationship with her boyfriend is still good?" He tilted his head a bit, looked at her.

  
"Never better." The woman rolled her eyes. "They were celebrating on the huge amount of money they got from selling the things they stoled from you. They didn't buy anything, though, only some fancy food and wine so they could save all the money, and made up a dream plan of departure."

  
"Not stolen from me. From my friend." Ryan corrected her. "Anyway, you've done great, I know I can rely on you. But now is the heavy lifting."

  
"I can lift pretty well, if you ask."

  
"I want you to seduce her boyfriend." He grew fond of a particular type of flower blooming on a shelf and looked closer.

  
"And why, is that?" The woman raised an eyebrow.

  
"So he will dump her." He turned back to her again, a grin splitting his face in half. "I want you to whisper in his ears, make him leave her and take all of the money she got to run away with you. I have to say this twice: _all of the money she got_. I want her broke, and being left alone with nothing over only one night."

  
The other one smirked as the requests got crystal clear. "Well played, Mr Evans."

  
"You sure you want to do this?" Ryan politely asked for the final confirmation.

  
"With the money you paid me? I'll go to _hell_." She laughed quietly, and he laughed with her.

  
"Wait, I forgot one thing. I need you to record the whole thing on tape. Not everything, just the moment she walked into the house to find everything gone til the end."

  
"Not the moment her boyfriend broke up the truth in her face?"

  
"If you think it would be interesting." He started touching her flowers again. "And before that, I need you to put some stuff in her house first."

  
"Let me see the things and I'll decide." She shrugged.

  
.  
.  
.

  
Ryan sat in his room at the apartment, comfortable among piles of pillows and blankets with his earphone on, lazily scrolled through all the statistics from the studio Kelsi sent him over email. It was horrible, the short days he had to deal with them all by himself. Just the thought of looking at the walls of numbers and texts sent shivers down his spine. His pure hate of dealing with numbers was one thing that he could still managed to overcome if he tried, but the dyslexia told him it was a no go.

  
He had been trying so hard to cope with the illness, but it was only for school grades. He did a fine job making no one realized he had troubles reading the words, it only came to people that he was dumber than Sharpay cause his marks in written tests were poorer. But he still suceeded in being better than Jason and lots of other not-having-dyslexia guys in high school, so it was an achivement. Also, texting needed a lot of correct spellings, so he had to be patient with it. It's great now that his job consisted of nothing to do with long texts and he could do the texting and the readings through voice recognition and audio books.

  
Thank god Kelsi was there to help with the paperwork at the studio, or it would have been forced to close before he could even know what was happening. Even though he couldn't be more grateful for her help at the place, he still felt guilty for letting something like Cheryl happened to Kelsi. If it weren't for Cheryl's betrayal, she wouldn't have to work this hard. She was a miracle, really, always kind and gentle on everybody, a pair of ears to listen to him, shoulders for him to lean on, and smart mouth to give him advices. He couldn't believe he didn't notice any bad vibes from the Cheryl bitch before it was too late. It bothered him for days, the fact that he was supposed to be looking after her and protecting her from things like this.

  
He told Chad about the guilt, and let the man hold him and comfort him with his warm voice. It didn't make it so much better, but it helped a bit. Until Chad asked him about how the police took so long to locate the girl and arrest her. It came to Ryan's mind that, even when he's an Evans, the name that owned large companies and industries and lots of the constructions made in New York, they didn't care enough because it was only a theft made by a silly girl that gave the thieves her keys. They didn't take it seriously, or pay attention to it, so he decided to find a private investogator himself.

  
And since then, the women had proved to be worthy of all his money in her. He looked at the pictures she took of Cheryl and her boyfriend to assure him about her doing the job, and tried to put down the rage from just looking at the redhead. He had seen her a couple of times, Kelsi invited her over for dinner and she stayed overnight a few times. He didn't really have a close relationship with her, but they knew each other. Is this because he didn't spend enough time at home with Kelsi, he asked himself. She took care of him 24/7 when he was recovering from the accident. And now he _failed_ doing the same for her.

  
"I'm coming to the studo, Ry," Chad poked his head into the room, and Ryan smiled at him. He seemed to be oddly interested in Ryan's studio since yesterday, and pretty excited about heading there this morning. "You need a lift to work?"

  
He shook his head. "I'm fine, I'll get there in one more hour. You go first."

  
"Okay. Have a good day at work." Chad came in to kissed him and left the house.

  
Ryan turned back to his laptop. At least he had someone taking care of Cheryl now. He should have just told the police where she was, but it would be too easy on her. He could still call the NYPD after he had done with her. She wouldn't go anywhere without all the money she had been saving anyway. So finally, after days of thinking and blaming himself, he found relief. The whole revenging thing might not be a pleasure for Kelsi, but it made him feel better, and at the end, he was sure seeing the girl in cells would make Kelsi feel better, too.

  
He must say, his private investigator had done the job too well. She sent him a message last night, telling him everything was done and she emailed him the video right then. He wanted to watch it so bad, but the soft bed with the warm, large body embracing him was too tempting to do anything else, so he left it until now.

  
He wondered if Chad approved of this petty little vengeance of his. The man had always been so nice and kind he couldn't imagine him doing anything like this. Would he be mad at Ryan if he knew Ryan had paid back Cheryl the exact same way she treated Kelsi? Making someonesome miserble had never been something Chad does to others, and that's what Ryan loved about him. He was too genuine, too good. So he simply waited until Chad had gone out of the apartment and opened up the video file in his bedroom.

  
His private investigator had been so nice placing hidden cameras all over the apartment, leaving no place unseen so he could watch the whole thing happened. It showed an empty apartment with nothing more than a table in the middle of the kitchen. Well, Ryan was serious about not leaving her with anything.

  
The redhead froze when she opened the door and got into the house, everything in her hands dropped onto the ground with a loud, echoing thud that sound so delicious over the computer. She first tried to call her boyfriend's name a few times, saying it wasn't a funny joke, stepping inside to look for him. Her panic and feared expression must have looked like Kelsi's when she came home to find out she had been betrayed.  
Then Cheryl started crying, ran frantically from one room to another, broke into loud sobs when none of them had her boyfriend, or anything else. They were wiped out entirely as if there was a storm swept through the place. It's fun seeing the pain, fear and betrayal seeped from her face to every single tile around her. The hurtful screams and cries got louder and louder every second, roaring in Ryan's ears.

  
After crumbling onto the floor into a broken pile, tears running down her face, wet her red cheeks as she cried her eyes out, really knowing that she had tasted her own medicine, the redhead suddenly jumped. She stood up from the ground in one second, ran to her bedroom. She tore down the paper on the wall to reveal a hidden safe. It must be her secret against the boyfriend, the only thing she kept away from him in case something happened. _Wise girl_ , he thought to himself. But it annoyed him. That means she probably still had something left and could still managed to live with it. And his own gift to the girl was also nowhere to be seen. He leaned closer to the laptop screen, noted in mind to cut off the payment to his investigator.

  
Cheryl pressed the code in with shaking fingers, quiet sobs escaped her lips and she opened the safe.

  
Inside of it, Ryan could see clearly, there was only a bouquet of rose. Ah, now he realized.

  
Cheryl took the bouquet out of the safe, and it was empty again. Her stolen jewelry, her secret money, her credit card, gone. Nothing left inside but the large flower bouquet wrapped in The Glass House flower shop brown paper, and a small, yellow note stick on it.

  
_"Ryan Evans sends his regards."_

 


	17. Of an actor's life

When Chad opened the door, his heart bursted out of his chest. He froze, couldn’t form a whole word, breath caught in his throat when he saw the blond standing at the threshold, body covered in blood. The fabric of his clothes lost thier original color, all turned into dark red, blood smeared on his pale skin and stuck on his blond locks.

 

“Hey, Chad...” His eyes widen immediately when he saw Chad’s look. “Oh my god, no, I’m fine, I’m fine! It’s not real blood! It’s from the filming set!”

 

Chad let out a relief sigh and hurriedly stepped closer to hug Ryan. “Jesus, you almost gave me a heart attack! Why the hell are you...”

 

“Having blood all over my face walking on the streets?” The other one put a finger in Chad’s chest to keep him from contact and ruin all of his clothes too. “A long story. How about I tell you about it after I take a shower and eat whatever delicious thing we have for dinner?”

 

“How about we have a shower and you tell me when I clean you up?” Chad winked, and Ryan threw himself at him.

 

Chad dragged the blond from the door to the bathroom, letting him turned into jelly on Chad’s shoulders. Under the layer of crimson (fake) blood, he looked rather tired. It must have been a long day at the filming set, both for him and his character. Maybe the psychopath loved bathing in his own victims’ blood? Now that sounds interesting.

 

He opened the bathroom door and pulled Ryan in, closing it behind them and started taking off his clothes for him. Ryan happily let Chad peel off his blood soak clothes, chin leaned on Chad’s shoulder. Chad took off his own clothes too before turning on the water and testing its warmth. Ryan had always been taking care of himself, now that Chad is finally here, he deserved some babysitting.

 

When the water was at the perfect temperature, he lead Ryan to stand under the spray and started cleaning his body. The red liquid rinsed from golden hair and pale skin, slowly drained away. Chad had no idea seeing Ryan like this would be so sexy, water ran down his skin and taunt muscles, the red blood dripped off, lining his figure. 

 

Ryan picked up the bottle of shampoo on the shelf next to them and squeezed some into his palm, rubbed it on his wet hair. Chad tore his eyes off the body in front of him and reached up to help. Only a few seconds later, his hair was covered in white soap bubbles, two sets of hands lazily massage his scalp. Ryan closed his eyes and leaned closer, relaxing in the other one’s embrace.

 

“You’re good at this.” He mumbled.

 

“At what?” Chad asked, hands ran through the soft hair.

 

“Massaging.” Ryan nipped on his lower lip. “Where’d you learn it?”

 

“Gay porn.” He shrugged, and the blond laughed.

 

“Then you should totally do this when we have sex.” Ryan kissed him chastely.

 

“I would love to show more to you right now.” Chad bit his lip gently, rolled his hips against Ryan’s.

 

“Sorry, sweetie.” The blond sighed and kissed him apologetically in the corner of his mouth. “Can’t. Too tired. Don’t be mad at me.”

 

“Of course not.” He turned on the water again to wash away all the bubbles and the red substance in it. “It was just a suggestion. You need to rest, you’ve been working hard today.”

 

“It’s my last day of being a serial killer.” Ryan put his arms on Chad’s shoulders while let him rubbed shower gel over his chest and back. “You already knew I have to wear the cloak and act as the killer every scene to make the movie real, right? Practicing with the knife was pain in the ass.”

 

“So it’s the last day, mean you finally reveal yourself to be the killer and try to end the life of the main character?” Chad made magic with his fingers and palm again, and Ryan groaned.

 

“It was fun. The main guy took a kitchen knife and hid it behind his back to try and attack me first, but I bashed his hand away and drove my fine blade into his stomach with one swift motion.”

 

“So you win in this movie? The villain killed all the good guys and what, lived happily ever after?” Chad raised his eyebrow.

 

“As much as I love to see how that turned out, no. This killer guy was cunning and calculating, he set up plans perfectly and made no mistake following it. No one suspected him of anything, since, you know, he was so skinny and fragile and shy, all of that. He made a plan of blaming someone else, get away with killing half the town and succeeded in avenging his father. But then this girl ran over with a gun and ruined his plans.”

 

“And you ended up looking like you’ve just got caught under a rain of blood?” Chad smiled.

 

“Nah. It was only a bullet.” Ryan shook his head. “I had some wires with bags of blood hid in my costume, so when I was shot, it would drip out like a real deal. But after finishing the filming, somethings went wrong, and the bags broke.”

 

Chad couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “Didn’t they have bathroom at the studio? You could’ve cleaned yourself up before coming home.”

 

“I was in a hurry, I promised to have dinner with you.” He pouted. “And I thought the bathroom on the jet was fine. I didn’t know it ran out of water.”

 

“The jet?” Chad blinked.

 

“Yeah. My private jet.” Ryan looked back at him with naive, innocent eyes. “How do you think I can get to Nashville to shoot for the movie everyday and coming home to you every night if I don’t have a jet?”

 

Right, of course. It wouldn’t make any sense any other way.

 

“Oh, don’t be such an envious bitter old man,” The blond pinched his cheeks. “My Dad is four times richer than Batman, he had to give me something for my birthday. And don’t you like having me here with you every evening? Or you prefer letting me stay there until I finished filming? That would be more economical, that way.”

 

“Fine, I won’t complain about how I worked my ass off to save for a car and some guys just get an A in some assignments and have a jet parking in the front yard.” Chad rolled his eyes, and Ryan laughed, kissed him.

 

“Sugar daddy can get you a jet too if you want.” He whispered playfully in Chad’s ears, and the other one jumped.

 

“Seriously, Ry!”

 

The blond stepped out of the shower with a smirk on his face, dried himself and wrapped a towel on his waist, opening the door. “Come on, I was joking! I mean, where the hell would you even park it?”

 

.  
.  
.

 

"Sorry I came home so late." Ryan shot him anin apologetic look from the other side of the table, and Chad couldn't find himself more in love with this man.

 

He had a rough day at work, went through strenuous rehearsing of how to kill people with style, having blood spilt all over his clothes, and still apologized for not being able to come home sooner to spend dinner with Chad. Chad knew Ryan wasn't the extravagant kind of people that would fly back and forth between two cities all day because he liked to. He had seen how smart and careful Ryan was with his money, he would have just fly to Nashville and stayed in his trailer there if it wasn't for Chad. He spent four hours traveling from home to work, and then coming back home, just so he could make Chad feel welcomed here in New York, not just staying in a cold, empty apartment. 

 

"Wow, this one's good." Ryan blinked at him after swallowing the meat in his mouth. "Where'd you get it?"

 

"In the supermarket." Chad said, smiled at Ryan's excitement.

 

"Why would something hot and freshly cooked like this come from the supermarket?" The other one frowned at the piece of meat on his fork.

 

"Oh, I thought you meant the raw meat." Chad shook his head. "I cooked it."

 

"Wow. I'm so gonna imprison you here so you can cook for me." Ryan ate with enthusiasm. "I'm bored of Kelsi's food, the takeouts too, and trying to cook myself was tiring."

 

"You made me pancakes before." Chad reminded him.

 

"It was different. Cooking for someone else was encouraging. Cooking for my own sorry ass was just hideous."

 

"Well, if you insist," Chad used the fork to pick up a bit of smashed potatoes and tasted it. Ryan was so gonna die when he eat this one. "I can cook your dinner and lunch from now on."

 

"Aw, that's so caring of you, wifey." Ryan reached the potatoes on his plate and just as Chad thought, he was over the moon.

 

"Anyway," Chad glared at him when he heard the playful nickname, "I came to the studio this morning."

 

"You seemed to oddly like it." Ryan commented.

 

"Yeah, I do. It was lovely. Reminded me of all things you taught me and the Wildcats at Lava Springs the summer before Senior year." Chad replied dreamily.

 

Ryan smiled and tilted his head a bit, clearly playing the memories he had of those wonderful days in his mind.

 

"And some kids came in the other day, asked for a dancing teacher to teach them the choreography for their show number." Chad cut off his thoughts.

 

"Ah, yeah, the Campbellhall High school sport team boys." Ryan popped another piece of asparagus into his mouth. "The moves weren't that complex, I tried to make them as simple as the ones we danced when we were in high school."

 

"Well, clearly the high school choreographer Ryan had upgraded quite a lot, because it wasn't that easy." 

 

"That's why Kelsi was there." Ryan mindlessly ate, didn't notice the question in Chad's voice. "To help them find a suitable teacher. I'm sure they'll managed."

 

"About that, yeah." Chad awkwardly responded. "That's what I've been trying to tell you."

 

"What's going on?" The blond looked at him with narrow eyes, putting the fork down.

 

"I've already told them you said you would be the one guiding them through all the 'simple' moves." Chad's voice tiny, but that was enough to piss Ryan off.

 

"What?" He snapped. "What do you mean you told them that? I said no such thing!"

 

"Yes, I know, I know." Chad pulled up his best puppy eyes. "I'm sorry I made a decision behind your back. But Kelsi told me about you and your dancing."

 

"Did she tell you," Ryan glared at him. "That I had an accident and I couldn't dance ever since?"

 

"She told me you can still dance, not as professional as you wish, but still enough to teach those kids, and have fun." Chad reached over the table to caress his hand.

 

"I failed to be the dancer I wanted to be, so now you're rubbing it in my face by tricking me into teaching a bunch of high school kids how to prance around on stage?" Ryan's voice got higher with upset.

 

"That's where you were wrong, sweetie." Chad shook his head. "You taught us high school kids to do that before, and it was not prancing around on stage. It was dancing. You persuaded me to start dancing, and I wouldn't take it as anything else."

 

"It's not dancing to me, and I won't do it." He stubbornly locked his gaze on Chad, not backing down, or changing his mind.

 

"Come on," Chad held his hand. "I will be there as your sidekick if you want. It's gonna be fun. You'll love it for sure."

 

"My sidekick? You want to help me teach those kids?"

 

"Yeah, of course." Chad blinked. Why would Ryan question that?

 

"Do you even know what the dance was about?" Ryan stood up, looked down to him, placed a hand on his hip.

 

"Baseball." Chad smiled hopefully. "Just like our first dance together. It would be perfect if we taught that to the kids."

 

Ryan shook his head, laughing bitterly. "It's only for one third of the dance. You know what the rest of it was about?"

 

Chad didn't respond. He silently looked at Ryan's eyes for the answer.

 

"It was about basketball." Ryan sighed. 

 

Chad froze. Basketball, the word that left a stung in his gut everytime he heard it. Made him nauseous, hurt, and angry. Reminded him of everything he could have, could be, but would never achive. 

 

"You want to help me teach those kids all the artistic moves with an orange ball in their hands, how they should bounce it, how they should let it roll down their arms, how they should pass it to one another like the dance you had with the Wildcats in the Senior Year show?" 

 

God, no. He didn't want anything to do with that ball anymore. He didn't want to reopen all the wounds, all the failures and imperfections of himself. He had tried to hard to forget them, but it always hurts like this no matter how long time had passed.

 

"Now, asking me to dance made me feel the same way." Ryan quietly whispered, and cleaned up the table. "I will go there tomorrow to tell them someone made a mistake, and I'm not going to be their teacher. You are not gonna do anything about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The movie Ryan participated in was my poor replication of MTV Scream, a rare horror TV series I could watch. It was terrifying, but it was so good I couldn't stop watching it.


	18. Of reopening old scars

Chad didn't know if he had any sleep last night. He remembered holding Ryan on their bed, feeling his chest slowly rose up and down peacefully every breath, snuggled so close to him. He remembered thinking about his failed plan of trying to make Ryan dance again, the way it backfired on him. "You are just as broken as I am", that was what Ryan said the moment Chad found out about the accident, and at that time, he did nothing but proved Ryan right. 

 

He knew it was bad, keep holding onto such thing for years and feeling sick everytime someone mentioned it. It was like sprinkling salt onto an open wound. It has been almost ten years and somehow the wound didn't close for even one bit. He once tried to gather all his will to sit down and watch a basketball game a time in the past, but never had the courage to do any of it. He was too scared he would throw up in front of the screen, he didn't even try. Troy and Gabriella would gave him as much encouragement as they could if they were there, but it was too risky Chad didn't want to invite them over. Yes, he could be broken, battered and pathetic, but he didn't show weakness to others, never. Not even his closest friends. His pride doesn't fancy him the chance to embarrass himself.

 

So after many attempts of accepting basketball back into his life, he decided to act like it doesn't exist in this world anymore. He thought erasing the thing away entirely from his life, shutting down all of his high school and college friends, blocking all basketball related websites and channels would one day ease the nauseous feeling, but clearly that method didn't work, because when Ryan told him the dance he wrote for the high school kids contained dancing with a basketball, he looked just like a deer caught in headlights. Speechless.

 

Ryan must have felt twice more terrible when someone mention dancing. Chad was refused, but Ryan, well, his love was brutally taken from him. But Chad knew he had to make Ryan dance again. It was the right thing, and it was what made Ryan happy. He wanted to see the blond doing what he loved and come back to be the beaming sunshine he used to be on stage. But in order to do that, he had to get over his fear and trauma, and he was stuck at that part. He and Ryan were basically in the same situation, Chad wanted to help him, but unable to if he couldn't get up on his own feet first. Apparently, he's not strong enough to do that. He pressed the heels of his hands on his eyes. Thoughts and feeling collide, mind and heart conflict. Why would human have to possess feelings? Why couldn't they just need to follow their logical and rational reasons, not torn between making both their hearts and brains satisfied? 

 

He gently got up from the bed and slipped down to the floor. He needed to take this off his mind a bit before going insane. The warm tail of Jessica, the American Akita, brushed on his feet, and she got up from the bedfoot, looked at him with wide round eyes. She must have thought it was time for the morning walk, Chad smiled to himself and caress her head and ears. One second later, the other four poured into the room and surrounded him, plead him with their sparkling eyes. Eventually, he gave up trying to tell them it was too early, and went over to the stand to take their leashes. They jumped all over him, wagged their tails crazily and showed their collar so he could put the leash on.

 

Yeah, perhaps walking out in cool air and moving his muscles with the girls a while would make his brain less stressed out. He opened the door quietly and took them out of the house and to the park. It was only five in the morning, still dark outside, but all the street lights were on and the fewer people out there, the better for Chad to relax. He walked the girls along the road in the park, stretching his arms and legs, breathing in the morning fresh air. The girls were cute and obedient, the landscape was comforting, and he slowly felt himself calming down. Sharpay was right, saying he would die if he couldn't bounce around every five minutes. Physical activities were his own kind of drug, and he was obviously addicted to it. Besides from his addiction to Ryan Evans, of course, he chuckled to himself.

 

Something hard hit him in the back of his head with the force enough to make him fall face first onto the ground. Luckily, he was an athletic guy, so he couldn't fall down that easily. Still, it took him a while to stop his head from spinning and gain back his balance. The part of his head where that thing contacted was hurt as hell, and he was sure it would swell tomorrow. The girls turned around and worriedly gathered around his feet to see if he was okay, and he breathed in and out slowly, patting their heads. "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine..."

 

"Oh god, I'm so sorry!" A kid, only twelve or thirteen, approached him with panic exressions, ran over to pick up the thing that obviously had almost shot him down. "I'm so sorry, it's been a long time since I shoot a hoop and..."

 

Great, Chad let out a frustrated groan when he saw the orange ball in the boy's arms. He was sleepless, and too tired to even have a panic attack like he usually did. Fuck you, basketball. You broke my heart, and now you come back to break my head too. Fuck you, really.

 

"Are you okay? Are you bleeding?" The boy scoot over to him, checking his head for a wound. "Should I call an ambulance?"

 

"No, Jesus." Chad snapped. "I'm not dying, I don't need an ambulance."

 

"I'm sorry." The boy looked down on his feet, and Chad sighed.

 

"Try not to assassinate people with your basketball next time." He turned around to leave, but the boy followed him with quick steps.

 

"Do you know how to play basketball, mister?" The annoying sound of his voice didn't spare Chad's poor soul.

 

"No, I don't. Find someone else. Stay away from me, kid." He growled, tried to walk faster to run from the boy.

 

"Please?" The little nightmare didn't let him go, kept running after him. "It sucks shooting hoops alone. No one ever taught me how to do that, I have to learn it myself."

 

Chad kept his mouth shut and walked the girls away faster, wondering if he could just ask them to shoo the boy off. He could really use a pair of strong jaws or two.

 

"They didn't let me play in their team because I was too short for them." The boy told him, eyes sad, and it made him flinched. "You are tall! You can teach me how to beat them in a real game!"

 

Chad swallowed hard, his mouth went dry at the innocent words. God, every single syllable cut through his gut like hot knife through butter. 

 

"I really need someone's help right now to find a way to defeat them." The kid beamed when he saw Chad slowed down. "I don't wanna give up just because someone told me I'm not tall enough, it was the most absurd thing in the world."

 

Chad stopped walking, wordlessly took the ball over from the boy's hand and went to the nearest hoop, threw the ball at it. His muscles memories remained unchanged, and the ball fell through the hoop, didn't even touch the rim.

 

"Oh my gawd!" The boy bounced happily to catch the ball, and Chad chose that moment to escape.

 

He disappeared along with the girls while the kid was still running after the ball, his legs stepped quickly and he tried not to tremble. His body still remembered the exact angle, the exact force it needed to score, no matter how hard he tried to forget it. He panicked. He didn't know what he thought to shoot the ball at that moment, but now he regreted it. He wanted to forget basketball, delete it from his life, not... Not like it. No, he's... 

 

"Where are you going?" The boy suddenly appeared in front of Chad and he almost screamed. "You have to teach me that! Your shot was amazing!"

 

Chad's heart pounded in his chest as he looked at the boy. He didn't know why he panicked when he could perfect the move like that, but slowly, he realized. He was scared because he loved it. This feeling of holding the ball in your hands and put it through the ring... He never realized he missed it this much.

 

"If..." Chad bit his lip. "If I teach you how to shoot a hoop, will you let me go?"

 

"Yes, I promise! Anything you want!" The boy nodded fiercefully, and Chad stepped in, took the ball in his hands once again. His hands shook slightly, but he thought about how this could help him get Ryan to dance again. He wanted to see the blond's blinding smile that he fell in love with since high school. And he's tired of always being the coward.

 

Let's try this, for Ryan.


	19. Of the infamous "I don't dance"

Chad came home to see Ryan and Kelsi already having breakfast at the table. According to the girl's twitchy and guilty face, the way Ryan kept glaring at her once in a while and the way she looked down on her food the whole time, Chad figured Ryan had told her he knew about her plan with him to make Ryan teach the kids. It was Chad's idea, but Kelsi happily became his 'partner in crime' in tricking Ryan into doing it without his knowledge, so it was undoubtedly for him to be mad at her too. Making Ryan mad was not something anyone should try.

  
But even though he showed nothing more than objection to their plan, Chad was sure he couldn't be really angry at them. First, getting mad at a cute little coffee bean that is Kelsi Nielsen was absolutely impossible, especially with those puppy eyes of hers everytime she felt Ryan's glare. Second, he understood why they did it. He didn't like it, but Chad was sure he knew their intention, and their desire for him to be happy. Ryan was smart, and always see things in a logical, resonable way, not emotional. Chad knew it, because he didn't stay mad at Chad last night. Yes, he might have yelled a bit, but after seeing Chad's reactions of mentioning basketball, he stopped his angry actions and let go of everything. He lied on the same bed with Chad, cuddled with him and fell asleep in his arms like he wasn't mad at all from the start. Chad couldn't be more grateful.

  
"Hey, Chad." Kelsi looked up from her plate and waved at him.

  
"You took the girls for a long walk." Ryan's cold as ice statement sent shivers down Chad's spine. He forgot the time, drowning in the adrenaline and excitement of playing basketball again and came home later than expected. He left a note saying he would bring breakfast back for Ryan, which didn't happen because he was late, and obviously being hungry made Ryan grumpier.

  
"I... Yeah." He awkardly took off the leashes and let the dogs ran free. They seemed to be the happiest ones in the room right now, playing outside for almost three hours in the morning. "I'm sorry I'm late, I couldn't buy you breakfast."

  
"Sorry for not being able to wait for you." Ryan glared at him, putting a piece of grilled cheese sandwich in his mouth (who would eat sanwiches with knives and forks anyway?). "I remember we have some very important thing to do at the studio this morning?"

  
"Yes, of course." Chad nodded immediately, not wanting to piss Ryan any harder.

  
"Sit down and have something, I made them for you." Ryan pushed a plate full of bacon, eggs and cheese over the empty seat next to him, and despite his fear of being strangled to death by the blond, he craved for the food like a mad man.

  
The smell was too tempting, the shimmery dark brown color of the bacon and soft golden color of the egg made his mouth water. After hours teaching the tiny boy in the park how to properly shoot a hoop, he needed food more than ever. Looking at him devouring the food like he had been left in hunger for weeks made Ryan smiled a bit. Maybe he thought Chad was cute showing love to his cooking like that, and he might spare Chad's life.

  
"Now, before we go there and clearly announce to the high school clients of mine that I'm not gonna be their guide through the dancing sessions," Chad hated this all formal and scary Ryan. He scared Chad. "I want to make something clear for both of you, too."

  
Kelsi swallowed hard in her seat.

  
"I appreciate the way you two look out for me. It was a terrible plan, but for a great cause, and it was nice knowing somebody may still want me to be happy with what I do." Ryan slowly let the words rolled off his tongue. "But I assure you that I'm totally happy with what I do now. Acting and singing were the best choice I've ever made, and they are enough for me. If I want to try dancing again, I will do it, but not because any of you tricked me to. Did I make myself clear?"

  
"Crystal clear." Chad nodded quickly, and Kelsi followed his actions.

  
"Very well. Finish your food when I go change my clothes. We'll leave in half an hour, okay?" He stood up and headed to the changing room.

  
"Yes, Ryan." Both of them echoed.

  
Chad dove into the food again, eating like his life depend on it. Kelsi ate more slowly sitting on the opposite side of the table, but she seemed to be fond of the food Ryan prepared for her too. But unlike her, Chad only listened to Ryan's order for an act. Hours spent in the park with the boy and thinking hard about everything that happened in his life helped him find himself, realizing that the wound might seem bloody and painful, but if you let it be taken care of instead of letting it fester, you will feel better, and eventually healthy again. It wasn't that easy, just play a game could relieve all of Chad's fear and trauma in the past, but it gave him confidence. His skills had faded away continuously every day he gave up basketball, but the rest were still enough for him to rock any game. He was still careful and doubtful, but he really thought he could get over it. And this dance session would be the best chance for him to do that.

  
He had got over his own fear. Now the next thing he would do, is convincing Ryan to do the same.

  
"What is it are you planning again?" Kelsi looked at him from her seat, and he answered innocently.

  
"Nothing."

  
"Oh, just spit it out." She rolled her eyes, stabbed her toasts with a knife in the heart.

  
"Will you really give up on our plan of making Ryan teach the kids?" He narrowed his eyes.

  
"Yes. Ryan made his point." She said without hesitation. "I don't want him to be angry anymore."

  
"And that's why you are his best friend and I'm his boyfriend." Chad smirked. "I'm not gonna give up. I'm gonna make him dance, and he'll thank me about it. Just watch."

  
"Right, how genius you are." She groaned.

"Good luck with the plan. But don't you dare tell Ryan I am a part of it."

  
"And let you get all the glory? Please." Chad waved his hand dismissively.

  
.  
.  
.

  
When they arrived at the studio, the bunch of kids were already there. Ryan parked the car and let Kelsi and Chad got down first to gather the kids into place. When he walked into the studio with fiery stylish pink locks and over the top fashion sense, Chad could feel all the gaze of the kids following him and suddenly felt a little defensive. It's like seeing your man walking into a ground full of hungry _vipers_. It was an exaggeration, but they were teenage boys anyway. They couldn't resist hot, sexy people when they saw them. He was a teenage boy more than once in his life, and he knew how it felt looking at Ryan's body. He was so hot even straight guys had to stare.

  
"As for some of you that have never really seen me before, my name is Ryan Evans, your choreographer." He open his gorgeous lips and the warm, charismatic and fascinating voice of a canary echoed in the air. "It's my pleasure to help you with organizing the moves in your number at the school production."

  
None of them made a noise. They all one hundred percent focus on him and his voice, drinking up every word. They all wore their sports uniform and brought their sports gear that was required for their song, in order to start practicing right that day. Every face showed excitement, curiosity, hope, and Chad knew he couldn't let those kids down by failing in his operation.

  
He tighten his fist, breath and heartbeat faster as he knew his moment is coming near.

  
"The manager of the studio, Kelsi, had accepted your request of looking for a guide to help you rehearsing the choreograph," He said calmly, voice seeped into everyone's ears like honey. "And announced you that I would be the one. But unfortunately, it was a mistake of hers, because I'm not taking the job."

  
"What?" The whole team started whispering and quietly yelling at each other, confused and pissed. They obviously had wanted to practice with the pink haired guy, but not sure from interest of professionals or curiosity of seeing a gay famous singer and actor. They all looked at the boy, probably team captain, that Chad saw the other day calling him and Kelsi out of the dancing studio, and hissed at him. The poor boy didn't know how to defense against that.

  
"There is no need to worry, that I will make sure to find you the best teacher there is to help you with the number." He quickly continued before the boys decided to riot. "I promise not to let this kind of mistake happen again. Please accept my apologies."

  
The captain boy opened his mouth to protest, but Chad made a move quicker than him.

  
"I deny." He raised his voice, and both Kelsi and Ryan widen their eyes at him. Kelsi silently screamed, tried to talk Chad out of the deadly route, but he already made up his mind.

  
" _Excuse me?_ " Ryan glared at him, stepped forward, voice clearly restrained from bursting into a yell.

  
"It's not Kelsi the one told them you are going to be their dance teacher. It's me." Chad raised his head, not backing down. "And I did that because I know you are a wonderful and qualified teacher, and they deserved to learn from you."

  
There were claps from the boys, nodds of agreement, but most of them were just too focus on the tension between him and Ryan to see what came next.

  
"Chad, I can't belive I'm saying this, to you, of all people," Ryan growled. "But if you want to play baseball with them, then grab a mitt. But I don't dance."

  
God, did Ryan realize he was repeating the same words Chad said to him the first time they interact on the baseball court at Lava Springs? Apparently he did, because he was, well, blushing. But if Chad were to follow this plan of his, this is a real good boost to it. A walk down the memory lane.

  
"You don't think," He shoved his hands into his pocket, pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes, tried his best to mimic the image of Ryan that day in his head. " _Dancing_ take some game?"

  
Ryan rolled his eyes hard and let out a frustrated sigh. He remembered, after all. But he decided to break Chad's attempts, and that's not cool. "Yes, that's why I don't think I'm 'wonderful and qualified' enough to teach those kids how to 'take some games'. I'd rather let them learn from someone better."

  
"But you've got game." He pushed his luck, followed his memory anyway.

  
And jesus, Ryan looked at him from head to toe, _obviously_ checking him out, _just_ like he checked Ryan out that day. An open challenge. "But I don't care, I'm not gonna dance. What are you gonna do about it?"

  
Oohhs and aahhs and whistles from the high school boys, and they seemed to be interested in a ~~fight~~  competition more than actually learning how to dance in their number. And Chad had made a good show for them to watch.

  
The music from the speakers on the ceilings and walls poured out and filled the room, and Chad look gratefully at Kelsi, playing the song in the back. Ryan's eyes went wide again, but turned into a deadly full of rage gaze burning Chad's face as he recognized the song.

  
"Don't you dare..."

  
Too late.

  
" _Hey, batter batter, hey batter batter swing!_ " Chad bursted out like a Disney princess, knowing the whole room would watch, and Ryan wouldn't be able to resist singing. He knew Ryan just like that.

  
_"I gotta just do my thing_ ," The guy gave in, but still stubborn about the dance. He hurriedly walked away, trying to get as far from Chad as possible, but the boys stood in his way.

  
" _Hey batter batter, hey batter batter swing!_ " He sang again following the music, stepped over to pull Ryan back. The boys seemed pretty fond of the show they were watching, clapping and laughing all the way.

  
" _I'll show you that it's one and the same_ ," Chad grabbed a glove and a ball from a boy next to him and waved them in front of Ryan's scowl. " _Baseball, dancing, same game! It's easy! Step up to the plate, start swinging!_ "

  
_"I don't wanna play ball, that's all,_ " He changed the lyrics, the little bastard. " _This is what I do_ ," He gestured at the stack of paper in his hands, " _It ain't no dance that you can show me."_

  
_"You'll never know_ ," Chad shook his head smirking, feeling other people in the room started following his beat and Ryan's impatient " _Oh I know_ ". " _If you never try_."

  
" _There's just one little thing that stops me everytime_ ," Ryan's voice could still be sarcastic even when he was singing, pointing to his legs.

  
" _Come on!_ " Chad yelled, and the room blown up in excitement.

  
_"I don't dance!"_ Ryan tried to walk away again, and this time Chad ran after him.

  
_"I know you can!_ " He laughed, stopping Ryan in his way.

  
" _Not a chance, no!_ " Ryan clenched his teeth, looking pissed, but Chad knew he was just trying not to burst out of laughter at Chad's ridiculous game.

  
_"If I can do this,"_ Chad danced around, seeing the corner of Ryan's mouth twitched a little. " _Then you can do that!"_

  
" _But I don't dance!_ " Ryan slipped away, tried to escape through the door.

  
This time, Chad didn't even try to keep him as the boys formed a huge wave slapping Ryan back to his place. He had never seen Ryan so betrayed.

  
" _Hit it out of the park!"_

  
_"I don't dance!"_

  
Chad pulled him into his personal space. " _I say you can!"_

  
" _Not a chance, no!"_ Ryan must have been saying no so many times in one minute that the boys started singing with him.

  
" _Slide home, you score, swinging on the dance floor,"_ Chad rolled him around in his arms.

  
_"I don't dance!"_

  
And there came the rapping part. Chad loved to rap, especially after hearing Ryan rap so well that summer, so he let Ryan go, signed the boys to follow his dance moves while he rap the whole part, stealing Ryan's lines, surrounded him in a ring of dancing jocks. Chad took the bat from one of the boys and danced surprisingly gracefully with it, and all of the boys were blown. Oh, and the " _I'll show you how I swing"_ made Ryan blush so hard when Chad came closer and grinded his hips against him, clearly not expected the song to be so so so much gayer than he remembered.

  
" _That's what I mean!"_ Ryan raised his voice, arms crossed in front of his chest, but Chad knew he won.

  
" _That's how you swing!_ "

  
" _You made a good pitch but I don't believe!_ " See, he didn't even bother to change the line into something discouraging, since he admitted Chad 'made a good pitch".

  
_"I say you can!"_ He exclaimed loudly with a wide grin on his face, pointed to Ryan's chest.

  
_"I know I can't!"_ Ryan yelled back with equal enthusiasm.

  
_"I don't dance!_ " And the way their voice blended in together, the harmony, the perfect high note, everything was just as beautiful as Chad remembered about that summer, only ten times more real.  
The music stopped, everything went silent, only their two ragged breaths.

  
And Chad whispered. "So I take that as a yes?"

  
Ryan rolled his eyes. "Fine."

  
The room exploded in cheers, laughter and applause from all of the boys. They ran in closer to hug both Ryan and Chad, and Ryan finally let out a laugh.

  
God, this man is the most ridiculous thing that had ever happened to him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, fics that replicate the infamous "I don't dance" song, tried to turn it into speaking language or simply recite the whole song (or movie) in the author's vocabulary had always bored me. To death.  
> But I liked writing this chapter, so I hope none of you are bored.


	20. Of some even better sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Porn alert!  
> The proudest porn I made so far!

It suddenly felt like old times again, when Ryan was the Wilcats' choreographer for the summer talent show. The boys enthusiastically danced and jumped on their feet in an always moving circle around Ryan, and Chad was among them, realizing he never missed dancing so much. Even though none of them, except Kelsi, maybe, really understood what Ryan was shouting between his laughter, must be some professional dancing major slangs or something, all of them knew what to do. It was magical how Ryan could make up these hard as hell movements from his head and teach those clumsy macho basketball boys how to master them gracefully. 

 

He was born to do this. Even the most slowly learner among them all could remember and danced correctly, and Chad wasn't sure if Jason would yell at him if he had to teach him how to dance, because Jesus, this boy is such a dummy, but Ryan was still patient on him. Of course he lost his temper for one or two seconds once in a while and raised his voice, but he immediately lower his volume when he realized he was scaring the boy. Sweat rolled of his cheeks and pooled in his collarbone, wet a large part of his shirt in the back, his face flushed and voice thin from talking non stop, but the wonderful smile didn't leave his lips for one moment, and his eyes sparkled under the lights of the studio. It's been a long time since anyone last saw him being so happy, worn out but filled with adore, like he was when the dummy boy eventually succeeded in following the moves. And Chad devoured the sight of him every single second with all his effort not to miss one flinch of the man. 

 

He would have done this ten thousand years ago if he knew Ryan was this happy to dance and teach people how to dance with him. He should have said to Kelsi "I told you so" whenever he caught her looking at Ryan and the boys dancing with a smile of relief. 

 

It was tired, assisting Ryan in teaching the kids. They were basketball players, not baseball, but they tried their best to swing the bat in the direction Ryan performed earlier. Didn't make it any less annoying when a bat slammed in Chad's gut and knocked him over. He asked one of the boys in the five minute break why they had to put this part into the number, and he said Campbellhall school's main sport was baseball, and basketball was not very popular there. It pissed Chad off to see how they had to pretend they were performing baseball in order to get the approval of the principal in the number. It was unfair to both sports, and an insult to basketball. It was cool, and helpful, and worthwhile, and deserved to have a number of its own. But the way Ryan arranged to turn from baseball to basketball at one third of the number was so impressive he decided not to complain about it. And at the end Chad thought, what could be funnier than seeing the principal's face when he saw the boys took off their baseball uniforms to reveal the basketball uniforms inside?

 

Ryan remembered baseball very well, and Chad still played the sport often after he left college, so they controlled the gear in each dance move pretty easily. He wondered if it was good or bad, to be good at baseball and teach the kids who knew nothing about it. At least he was not the only injured one now, since Ryan had been hit in the face with a ball and sure would have a bruise on his cheek. He had to be more careful not to kiss on that one tonight.

 

Another thing that kept the boys from collapsing into the ground and threw all of the bats and gloves away was the way Ryan encouraged them. Chad slowly learned to do it just like him, pointing out where they did it good and made a compliment about it. It made the kids so much happier, and they stopped looking at the tiny ball with all of the hatred in the world. Ryan smiled at him and gave him a compliment too, on how much he helped the pink haired man with the teaching, and Chad blushed furiously. No wonder all the boys seemed so eager to please Ryan and get some encouragement from him: Chad would do anything to be praised by that warm, sweet voice again. It must be one of the reasons why his teaching was so good, he made people see the best potential of themselves and worked hard to achive it. And when they couldn't find a way to get something right even when they tried, a pale, soft hand would reach over to gently nudged them to position and guided them through it. Chad fell for those hands in Lava Springs more than ten years ago, and he had to gather all of his will not to kiss them again now.

 

Or devour Ryan's mouth right when he opened it to say something. Or pinned him up right there, on the piano, to fuck him senseless. He was just so beautiful, so attractive, so hot like this, and Chad didn't even know the way he laughed or innocently ran his hands through his hair could make Chad harder than ever. He was obsessed, he concluded, and it was totally understandable, when the pink haired man was so addictive. 

 

So right when they had a lunch break, Ryan generously ordered pizzas to the place so the boys didn't have to go out and get food, and paid for all of them, Chad decided to make a move. Ryan got to the restroom to wash his face, cool down before the meal, and Chad quickly followed him after telling the boys to save some for both of them since they wouldn't be back any time soon.

 

He wrapped his arms around Ryan's narrow waist and kissed his neck sloppily, caught the man by surprised when he was splashing cold water over his face.

 

"Jeez! Chad!" He squirmed, but couldn't stop himself from laughing. Yes, the tickling spot.

 

"I miss you." He licked the man's earlobe and caressed him all over, hips pressed against his ass and rubbed. "You are always tired these days."

 

Ryan gasped quietly, instinctively put one hand on the sink to lean on, the other grabbed Chad's neck and rolled his hips back at Chad's eager motions, and it made him harder and rubbed faster. He slid a hand over the front of Ryan's pants and just grabbed him and he shuddered. His body seemed to be melting in Chad's arms, pushing and squirming, anything for more.

 

"Wait, Chad..." His head rolled back on Chad's shoulder, voice was shaking like a leaf. "Not... here..."

 

It was funny, how he couldn't resist Chad and reacted against him with almost equal enthusiasm, but his voice told Chad to wait. He would have laughed if he didn't too focus on the feeling of the firm, hot ass rubbing against his cock. He ignored the words, started opening Ryan's fly and thrust a hand inside his pants.

 

"Don't you miss me?" He whispered in Ryan's ears, mustered all his master level massaging into waking up the other's cock. It wouldn't take that much skills, since his body was sensitive after many days not having anyone touching it, but Chad loved blowing his mind away. 

 

"I... Ah... Yeah..." Ryan hiccuped, and it was the cutest thing Chad wanted to fuck him right then.

 

"Then let me fuck you." He growled in his sexiest, lowest voice, and chuckled when Ryan's cock twitched. And he finally gave in. 

 

He hurriedly pushed his pants and boxers down, but left the white button down cause he knew Chad loved seeing him naked with only the shirt, and turned around to wrap himself around Chad, but the hands on his hips held firmly, not letting him move.

 

"Chad, wha..."

 

"Look at that." Chad whispered, pointing in the mirror in front of them. Oh god, they were standing facing the bathroom sinks and large mirror, and Ryan's face went hot at the reflections of himself and Chad. "Look at you."

 

He could see himself blushing, cheeks bright red, his pink hair was messed up and sticking into every direction, he arched up a perfect bow and Chad's hands around him looked so large, so firm and warm. It was embarrassing, but the way Chad's hand's reflections danced in his eyes and his face kept kissing and nibbing Ryan's exposed skin made him desire for more.

 

"I wanted to do this in the dancing room, with the walls covered in mirrors so you can see your slutty self in every angle, but I just can't wait." Chad opened his pants too, let the dark monster cock that made Ryan find it hard to walk after their first fuck sprang out of his boxers, let the image of it in the mirror printed in the other man's head, and Ryan let out a breathless moan. 

 

"Keep your voice down, little slut," Chad pushed a finger inside the pink mouth and Ryan sucked it without thinking. "The boys might hear you from over there."

 

He slowly rubbed his bare hard cock against the delicious curves of pale ass and Ryan sucked harder, nails clawing at his skin. Chad was good with his hands, Chad was good with his dirty words, and Chad was good with his cock. What could he do other than taking all the pleasures in?

 

Chad chuckled when he opened his mouth wider and took three of his fingers inside it to suck and lick with all of his lust, and after a few moments he pulled the fingers out, and pushed one of them into Ryan's tight entrance. The man under him gasped, the muscles around his hole clutched tightly around the intruder, and his whole body shuddered at the strange cold touch.

 

"Shh, relax, lovely." Chad gently circled the hole with his finger, licked his jaw. "Don't wanna break my cock in half trying to push it in there."

 

Ryan slowed down his gasps, tried to relax and take the finger in. It should be embarrassing, reacting like an innocent virgin first time having sex, but he couldn't help moaning loudly, gasping and shivering. It felt so good. God, he missed this, he truly did. Chad brought out the sluttiest slut inside him. And the most stupid, obviously, for not being able to find another word for slut.

 

"Yes, just like that." The dark haired man encouraged, and pushed the second finger inside, carefully scissoring his hungry hole, loosening it. And Ryan praised him back with a string of moans, "yes" and "more".

 

He looked in the mirror and realized he had placed a leg on the counter in the process of trying to open his legs as wide as possible, forearms on the cold stones holding himself up, and behind him, his ass was taking the fingers in so eagerly. He saw it all like this. And god, it was hot. When the third finger came in, he had been loose enough not to scream every time Chad moved, and responded by pushing his hips back, letting the three fingers stretch him wide and deliciously.

 

"Good, you're ready." Chad suddenly pulled his fingers out, letting Ryan's slutty hole gaping open emptily, but only for one second before the extremely large cock replaced them gracefully, and Ryan collapsed.

 

Chad laughed breathlessly as he gripped the hips firmly in his hands, surely leaving some dark bruises on pale skin, and thrusted. His bold moves hit Ryan's prostate every time he pushed in, and rubbed the hot, wet insides of the man all over when he pulled out, just to push in harder. Every thrusts got stronger and more brutal every time, and his hands pulled Ryan's hips back in time, the sounds of skin and flesh slapping filled the room along with the groans, the cries, and the gasps. 

 

Somewhere among the thrusts, Ryan raised his head to look at them in the mirror, and the sight made him come right then and there, hot fluid covered the counter and dripped down his thighs. Chad was totally consumed by lust, sweaty curls stuck into his skin, pupils blown, mouth open to let out small whimpers, and the way his hips pistoning up Ryan's ass made his mind swam in pleasure. Chad smirked when he saw Ryan looking, and he had never seen such a sexy lop sided smirk. Chad pushed harder, faster, and he thought the dark haired man must be close, but he kept waiting and waiting to still find himself being fucked non stop on the stone counter for forever. His knees weak after every thrust, and the moaned loudly as his abused hole sucked the cock in hungrily even when his body was nothing more than jelly. 

 

Long later, when their moans turned into worn out whimpers and Ryan had came the second time, he held onto the counter tightly, and let himself relax, pushed away in thrusts like large tidal waves. He loved this. He loved being the slut to Chad, letting Chad fuck him so hard for so long he thought he might black out. The reflections of them fucking each other could be Ryan's masturbating fantasy's material for another month, but with Chad sticking around him twenty four seven, he could let the other man touch him instead.

 

Chad came, filled Ryan's insides with his wet seeds, and bit his shoulder hard to stop himself from screaming and let the boys hear them. 

 

They both took some time, just holding each other, looking at themselves in the mirror, and Ryan turned around, gave him a sloppy French kiss.


	21. Of teaching and dancing

"Kelsi, can I talk to you for a sec?" Chad nervously approached the tiny girl who was sitting on the kitchen counter, looking through her laptop. 

 

She looked up from behind her glasses with surprise and closed the laptop, pushed it aside immediately. "Sure, what's wrong?"

 

"The police called last night when you were sleeping and Ryan was making up choreography, so I picked up the phone." He pulled out a chair to sat down facing her. He kept his voice low enough not to let Ryan hear them over the sizzling sound of his breakfast pan. "They said they got Cheryl."

 

"Oh." The brown eyed girl blinked, clearly trying to conceal her feelings. Chad could still notice how her hand grabbed tight onto the counter and knuckles turned white, as her breath caught in her throat.

 

"And not just caught, they said Cheryl..."

 

"You know what, I think we should stop talking about this topic from now on." Kelsi pressed her lips together and cut him off with quivering voice. She blinked rapidly to keep tears from rolling down her cheeks.

 

"I... Yeah, I don't think mentioning her would do you any good, but Cheryl..."

 

"Chad, please stop." She sighed, took her glasses of and rubbed her eyes tiredly. "If Ryan hear you, he will lose his temper again. I hate to see anymore mess."

 

Chad bit his lips and looked at the blond standing next to the stove, humming a showtune along with his moving the large wooden spoon inside the pan. And then he turned back at the tiny girl in front of him, face crumbled like she could burst into tears any moment. He wanted to tell them what the police told him so bad, the news was both strange and surprising, but just saying her name right now would make Kelsi cry and Ryan furious, and he didn't want to ruin this peaceful moment. So after considering the benefits and drawbacks of this action, he decided to leave it. Cheryl had nothing to do with their lives anymore, doing this would only make them feel terrible again.

 

"Hey, Chad, can you get me that plate over there?" Ryan called him from his spot next to the stove, pointing at the stack of transparent glass plates above him, and gave him an adorable pleading smile.

 

"Be right there," He rolled his eyes and left his seat to come and get the plate down for Ryan. It was clearly in the blond's reach, he just didn't want to get it himself.

 

"What were you and Kelsi talking about?" He carefully changed the angle of his fedora before taking the plate and started putting sausages and scrambled eggs in it.

 

"Nothing, just some things about the dance." Chad shook his head and looked away from Ryan's eyes. He was sure the blond knew he was lying through his teeth, but then decided not to ask for the truth.

 

He finished putting the food in the plates and gave one to Chad before taking the other two to the table. Kelsi was waiting excitedly with knife and fork on each hand, and grinned widely when she saw the egg.

 

"You guys are fattening me." She pouted and digged in the food, enjoyed it more than she thought.

 

"We have to practice cooking for each other before marriage." Chad made a joke, and the three of them laughed. 

 

"I can see you having your fun before getting married." Kelsi hummed with a piece of sausage in her mouth, and the other two had to hide their blush. "The men's restroom was quite messy the other day, a report from the cleaning employees."

 

"Did any," Chad cleared his throat mid sentence, "Did any of the boys know about that?"

 

"God, Chad," Ryan rolled his eyes. "They were seventeen year old boys, they masturbate everyday thinking about the porn they recently watched, I doubt they would suspect about us coming out of the room all sweaty and rumpled clothes."

 

Chad coughed furiously, earning another sarcastic gaze from Ryan and small giggles from Kelsi. It's been a few days since they last had sex, and the idea of doing that in front of a mirror was so tempting he had to try it right away. And it's not like Ryan had any complaint about it, seeing him swallowing Chad's lips in the restroom almost half an hour after they were done. Even Ryan couldn't deny the fact that he was good, and he could use it as an advantage any moment he needed to distract Ryan from something.

 

"You two did amazing with the boys the last three days." Kelsi suddenly clapped her hands together, and both of them broke into wide satisfied grins.

 

"Ryan was the hero, I'm just the sidekick." Chad shrugged, looking at the blond with pride. Both of them had worked hard the past days, dancing around and teaching the kids for hours from morning til night. It's been really close to the show, so they had to push up the speed by rehearsing day and night, came to the studio at 7 am and only left after 10 pm. The boys got into the summer break already, so all of their time dedicated to the number, and they spent their days there. Still, Ryan arranged the small five minute breaks perfectly every once in a while to keep all of them alive and dancing, so it was tiring, but not exhausting. At least not as exhausting as doing paperwork, in Chad's opinion.

 

"You'll be the hero today." The blond smiled shyly.

 

"What? Really?" Chad's grin got wider when no one thought it could, and he scoot closer to the other one, leaned against him. "What am I gonna do?"

 

"Today's basketball day." He chuckled, letting the news sunk in. The idiot never bother to read the outline of the number Ryan left in his laptop, everything he knew about the dance was the blond teaching him along with the boys.

 

"Yes!" Chad exclaimed, almost jumped from his seat. He had been waiting for it for so long he thought it might never come. Practising with the bats and gloves was a much more difficult task to the boys, so Ryan decided to spend a longer amount of time to let them really be fluent in it. Now that they were handling the gear well enough, it's showtime!

 

Ryan laughed quietly, looking at him like looking at a child about to be taken to Disneyland. "Show them what you got, Wildcat."

.  
.  
.

 

The weight of the brand new orange ball Ryan gave him as a gift felt so strange but also so familiar in Chad's hands when he held it in front of his face, slowly following the movements Ryan was demonstrating. Everything always started with the pink haired man explained and performed the dance in details and extremely slow and clear, and then the boys and Chad would line up in positions to practice the moves a lot more times before they could really fit into the speed of the music. The boys seemed to be as happy as Chad to come back to their familiar sport, bouncing the ball back and forth confidently, and got into the rhythm smoothly. 

 

Chad learned quickly. It surprised Ryan how he could catch up with all of the complex techniques and delicate movements of the number so easily, like manipulating the basketball in his hands to make it move in any way he wanted was somekind of reflex. Chad's face was glowing while the boys were sweating horribly, he couldn't take that silly grin off his face, and his dark curls kept bouncing everytime he jumped. They grew fast in the weeks he stayed here, and he didn't pay enough attention to get a new haircut, or simply didn't want to do it. Ryan loved every minute of just looking at him guiding the boys through the difficult moves, he lazily sat on a comfy chair a few feet away, letting Chad do all the work.

 

The basketball boys were quite sporty and good at the thing, but nothing compared to Chad, even when he hadn't been playing the sport for years. The muscle memories were still there, the raw talent, the precise reflexes, it was like the old enthusiastic, energetic and hyperactive Chad that he had fallen in love with in high school. And it was not only Ryan who was impressed with Chad. The boys listened to every single word of his with held breaths, followed exactly his moves and the way they looked at Chad was pure admiration. Chad inspired them, made them better every hour passed by, and fueled them with the passion and urge to conquer the orange ball. It made Ryan both proud and jealous a little, he was not used to seeing Chad being adored by anyone but him.

 

Chad was such an amazing teacher that they finished their goal of the day before seven. He wanted to push the boys to achive more, pass the goal and set a new record, but Ryan told him they were all tired and deserved some relaxation, so they stopped to have a Thai dinner on the floor of the studio and then went outside to play basketball in the yard behind it. Chad and the boys tried to start a game inside the dancing room, but Ryan's lion roar blew them out of the door immediately ("I SAID NO BASKETBALL IN THE STUDIO!!!" "Yes, Mr Evans."). If their balls ever broke a single mirror or the speakers or the piano, he would show his true skills of being a serial killer, so they obediently grabbed their balls and went outside. 

 

The sounds of basketball hitting and bouncing on the ground, falling through the hoop, the sounds of them running around and shouting signals to each other, and the sounds of their laughter and high fives echoed from the yard into where Ryan was fixing the broken speaker on the ceiling, and he couldn't help himself from smiling all the time. The Chad he saw today made him fall ten times deeper for this man, and he had to keep his heart from fluttering in happiness whenever he heard the noise from outside. Getting an Evans to dance and a Danforth to play basketball was the best, the most natural thing in the world to do, and somehow they both refused to do it until now.

 

And if it wasn't for Chad's stubbornness in forcing Ryan to dance, none of this would have happened, and he couldn't find anything more regretful. He admitted that to Chad on their way home, showed how much grateful he was to have the man in his life. Chad smiled sheepily and grabbed him into a kiss.


	22. Of daddy Chad and mommy Ryan

Ryan came back to the studio with a bunch of milkshakes hanging on his arms and hands, whistling lazily as he opened the sound proof door of the dancing room and slid in. The music flooded the room, electronic dance music, the kind of music youngsters listened to nowadays, unlike him when he was their age. Chad was in the middle of the boy group, walking around to instruct the boys with their poses and moves, in each one's hands was a basketball and they seemed to be really focus on what Chad was talking. He was a talented teacher and basketball player, and the boys needed that then more than an expert dancer, so Ryan decided to sit down on the far side of the room watching him with clear fondness on his face. 

 

He had been watching them practicing and getting better little and little over hours, until the alarm in his phone rang, and he knew it was time for some beverage. He stood up and left the room silently in order not to disturb the boys and Chad, and went to the nearest coffee shop for some drinks. Being a professional dancer wasn't just about knowing how to dance, but also about knowing how to rest, and recharge energy at the right moment. When Chad handled the responsibility of being a dancing teacher, he took care of the rest: maintaining the well being of the kids. He didn't have to do it, none of the teachers had to, but it was Ryan's way to communicate and making friends. He took care of people when he didn't have to, talked and listened to them when he wasn't paid for it, and soon, they got to be his friends. Kelsi was wonderful, but the extrovert inside him demanded more human interactions, so he had to know all of the population of New York. His psychiatrist said it was the desire to fulfill the emptiness inside his heart or some shit, but he simply thought it was always better to be nice to people and get new friends.

 

"Five minute break, everybody!" He clapped his hands to get the boys' attention, and they all happily threw the ball away to run to his milkshakes. He smiled as they craved into the drinks like they had been on a dessert for weeks, and turned to Chad, who was standing next to him with a pair of wide puppy eyes.

 

"Do I get a milkshake?" He asked with the weirdest and cutest voice, hands cupped over Ryan's direction. The pink haired man looked at the last cup of drink in his hand, and back at Chad with a teasing smirk.

 

"Sorry, the last one's for me."

 

"Of course it's for you." Chad skipped the please-please-please-please phase and jumped into Ryan's cup with eager. "What a coincidence your favorite type of milkshake was exactly the same as mine."

 

Ryan laughed and gave the cup to him. "Slow down, smartass. It's not gonna run away."

 

"Seriously, I can't understand how you knew about my favorite type of milkshake." Chad drank the liquid with pure satisfaction in his face, sighing deeply. "And how you knew I was desperately in need of some."

 

"It's my job to make sure the class run smoothly." Ryan shrugged. "Can't let the teacher collapse from dehydration and not even knowing it."

 

"You are the best, you know that?" Chad grinned and leaned over to gave him a chaste kiss.

 

It took a while for them to realized it was the first time they kissed in front of the boys. Or showed any affection at all. The coming-out-of-the-rest-room-all-sweaty-and-rumpled-clothes thing didn't count, this was the truly first time the boys saw them as a couple, not as two random people who happened to be teaching the same kids. Heart beat faster as Chad took a deep breath, and the turned around to see the boys' reaction. 

 

"Ew." The team captain winced and covered his eyes, making a bunch of other boys doing the same, and suddenly Chad thought he could broke into pieces right there. Ryan held his hand tightly to calm the other one down, but his breath caught in his throat. It's been a long time since he had to deal with a homophobic person, and he might have let his guards down a bit. He was used to seeing reactions like this, he had been taking those his whole life, he had to stay strong for Chad.

 

He carefully arranged words in his head, tried to hide his disappointment and anger at them, but before he could speak, one of the boys hissed. "Mommy and daddy are making out! Right in front of us!"

 

As Ryan and Chad's eyes widen, the rest of them started talking over each other, and tried to cover their eyes too. "Ewwww!!!"

 

"I love your milkshakes, mom," The captain boy rolled his eyes. "But if you and daddy are gonna share the cup and lovey dovey right here, please stop and find a room. We innocent children had enough."

 

"God, remember the time we caught mom and dad really having sex?" One boy shook his head. 

 

Ryan gasped in shock, relief and mock anger. He had to tried his best not to teleport over and pull their ears off: scaring the hell out of him for one bad joke. "You innocent children?!"

 

Chad laughed, intertwined his fingers in Ryan's. "It was just the after sex, kids, not the real thing!"

 

All of them jumped and screamed at Chad's sentence, covering their ears and la la la loudly, looking away. Both of them couldn't stop laughing at the boys' words, all of the strangling weight in their throats suddenly turned into dust after a second. Turned out they didn't hate them at all for being together. They weren't homophobic, they weren't mean, and they loved and supported Chad and Ryan in their own way. Nothing was as terrible as Chad imagined, and everything turned out to be alright. Coping with disapproving glares and disgust on people's faces had been Ryan's fear, not for himself, but for Chad. He was afraid the other one couldn't handle the pressure, the unfair way this world would treat him if they found out he was gay, but right now, when these devious boys were making fun of their kiss, he thought to himself, if a group teenage boys could accept them, who couldn't?

 

"But really," The captain boy, Robb, looked at them with hands on his hips, a serious look on his face. "No kissing in practice. We gotta get our heads in the game."

 

"My place, my rules." Ryan smirked and stood on his tiptoes to kiss Chad again, ignoring the groans. Yeah, they were gonna have to deal with mommy and daddy for a long while now.

.  
.  
.

"Okay, that's enough for today," Chad caught the ball with one hand and spoke with the volume that all of the boys could hear. "Get dressed and go back home, we're gonna rock a show tomorrow!"

 

The room exploded with the sound of their high fives, excited yell and whistles. They headed to the changing room in a neat line (because that would please their mommy) and in a second, Chad was the last one in the room. He got to the corner, put his ball in his bag and took out a small towel to dry the sweat. There were showers in the restroom, but he prefered coming home to mess in the bath with Ryan. The blond had come home early and sent him a text specifically informed him about a warm bath with a giant rainbow colored bath bomb waiting to be dropped. The thought made him chuckled to himself and hurried up cleaning his stuff to go home.

 

He turned off the lights, carefully closed the door and walked out of the studio, to the silver convertible parking in the yard. He was humming a happy song when he heard the hisses and the arguing voice from the other side of the yard. Chad looked over to see Robb, the captain of the basketball team in Campbellhall high school, pressing a phone to his ear and clearly being in a fight. He seemed upset and frustrated with the one on the other side of the line, waving his hand frantically in the air, voice high pitch from anger. After a moment, he put the phone down and groaned loudly, hands covered his face.

 

"Hey, kid." Chad called from the far side of the yard, and the boy looked at him. "What's wrong?"

 

Robb stomped over to him, snapping every word. "I can't believe it! My school is obviously trying to bully the basketball team again!"

 

"What? What did they do?" Chad got closer, lowered himself a little to see the boy's face in the dim light.

 

"The principal fired the coach, saying with our team's performance lately under his instructions, he was disappointed." Robb rolled his eyes, crossing his arms together. "And it's only a few more days before the sign up for the championship, we can't do that without a coach on the list! He did that to us on purpose!"

 

"Can't you hire someone else?" Chad blinked, remembering Kelsi's words about how rich kids deal with problems.

 

"Well, we can, for now." Robb bit the inside of his cheeks. "But the guys won't accept a new coach that knows nothing about them to lead them in the championship. And the coach's name in the sign up paper had to be the one leading us in the games."

 

Chad went silent for a minute when he saw the eyes of the boy widen and started looking at him with this really really strange gaze. And the grin that slowly crept on his face, got wider and wider every second until it split his face in half. The devious grin Ryan usually has on his face whenever he had some naughty idea to try in the bedroom. And, well, the grin that people usually have on their faces when they got an evil scheme in their mind.

 

"Just give me some time to think." Chad bursted out, and Robb huffed. 

 

"What is there to think about?" He slapped his forehead. "You know us perfectly well! You're extremely good at basketball and teaching us! You are flawless coach material!"

 

"Well, except for the fact that I live in Albuquerque, New Mexico, not here." Chad muttered, and the boy blinked furiously.

 

"Wait, I thought you're living with mommy Ryan? You two are together, right? I mean, you get here in the same car every morning."

 

"I'm here for a business trip, I only stayed with Ryan for a while. I'm coming home in two more days." Chad sighed.

 

"You're a businessman?!" The boy gaped, couldn't digest the fact that his basketball dream coach was actually something that had nothing to do with basketball.

 

"Office worker." Chad rolled his eyes. "Hated the job, but I need to do something to put food in my mouth. I can't leave it just to come here and be a high school basketball coach for a few months and then come back hoping I'm not fired."

 

Robb looked at him quietly for a while, and he waved his hand, open the door and got into the car. "Just get home and discuss this with your teammates first. That's what a captain should do. I'll help if you need me."

 

The boy stood still in his place, face hard as stone, clearly thinking hard to quickly come up with a solution to persuade Chad to come to the team. Poor boy, he sighed as he pulled out of the yard. The boy seemed to be a stubborn one, he wouldn't rest until he get what he wanted.

 

"Wait! Wait!" Suddenly, there he was, running after the car right before Chad decided to hit the gas and drove away. "Why don't you stay here for good? You'll be our official, real coach! You can move here to New York with Ryan and a new job coaching the basketball team of our high school! You don't have to work at the office anymore!"

 

Chad's foot stop at mid air above the gas pedal when he heard the words.  
"I'm listening."


	23. Of the new basketball coach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a short chapter, but full of joy!

Both Chad and Ryan woke up extremely early that morning, too excited to continue their sleep. They made themselves busy with preparing their best outfit to wear to the show, and all the things the kids might need before their number on stage. They made enough food for the whole student body, drinks and all, prearing the costumes and sport gears, checked over the music and sound for the number, and of course, wandered for an hour at the flower shop to choose the right bouquets to give the boys after the show. Then, after making sure that everything was gonna be perfect, they headed to Campbellhall High school to meet them and wish them luck.

 

The school was larger and more modern than any place Chad had ever set foot in. East High had already been considered a school with a significant budget, but a public school with the diversity of students could never be like a private school specialized for rich kids. Ryan didn't seem to be too impressed with the facilities, but Chad got carried away with the baseball field and basketball court. They were exactly the picture coming out of his dreams, and he would do anything to get a chance to play sports in this school. It made considering Robb's (and later the whole team's) offer with an objective point of view ten times more difficult, and he had been waiting to find a reason that he shouldn't accept it, to see if there was any, but after nine hours of thinking, nothing came up. He had every reason in the world to drop his life in Albuquerque and move here, and no reason at all not to. And there was a pool, Jesus! Ryan had to pull him out of there before he did something inpulsive, and took him to the place where the show would be held. The theater must have been able to fit hundreds of people in there, a giant stage with impeccable sound and lighting systems, and even the curtains were stunning. They waited for the boys in the brand new changing room backstage, and finally, they came.

 

The boys were boys, as always, and got up so late they didn't have time for breakfast or any kind of preparation. Thank god their "mommy and daddy" were there to save the day, and Chad handed food to every single one of them while Ryan put them in their costumes, cool hair style and make up. They refused to wear the make ups at first, didn't want their manly image being damage, but Ryan, with his sweet voice and threatening glares, persuade them to let him put on the make up so they wouldn't look too pale and liveless in the lime light. And then both of them helped the boys running over everything they needed to do in the number for one last time before letting them go and settling down in the audience rows of seat.

 

The number they had been rehearsing non stop for the last few days went on flawless in front of their proud and adoring eyes. The boys made so much efforts in performing Ryan's terrific choreography, didn't miss even one step, every move was precisely beautiful, the lines they formed were perfectly straight, and the complex basketball techniques that Chad spent days trying to teach them were performed gorgeously. Even Kelsi, the biggest perfectionist among them, had to agree that they mastered all the dancing with grace. Ryan couldn't remember a time he was prouder than this moment, and he happily leant on Chad's shoulder, a silly smile hanging on his lips.

 

The other numbers in the show were quite excellent, but comparing to them? They wouldn't stand a chance. The moment when the boys ripped off their baseball uniform to reveal the basketball shorts and threw the bats and gloves away to catch the orange ball was pure gold. Every audience stood up and applauded excitedly, and the principal's face turned into a shade of purple that they had never seen before in the first twenty eight years of their lives. It was a wise decision to put their number in the end of the show, because it overshadowed all of the previous numbers and put the whole stage on fire. The audience were blown away by the performance, and the Summer Musicale was a wonderful, complete success. 

 

The boys announced Chad and Ryan as their key to the amazing performance on stage, and everybody clapped their hands. The pink haired man gracefully bowed to the praise with a grin, and Chad smiled sheepily.

 

After the show, Chad suggested coming to their place for a party, and before Ryan could think of anything, the boys had already marched to the apartment. The party was full of Kelsi's awesome DJ music, spiked punch, glitter floating everywhere in the air and all kinds of junk food Ryan ordered to feed a group of hungry, growing teenage boys who had just danced their asses off. A few days ago, if someone told him he wouldn't just dance again, but also teaching a bunch of kids performing at a school show and feel stupidly proud of it, he would hit them with a chair. Look at him now: running around making sure none of the boys break anything in the house, drinking heavily spiked punch from Chad's hot mouth every two minutes, and having butterflies bouncing around in his belly with the pride of a parent seeing his children's success.

 

The captain boy, Robb, approached the two of them from the corner of the room, and the way he and Chad looked at each other told Ryan something was happening. Suddenly, as if all of the boys had prepared for this moment, they went silent and gathered in front of Chad in a neat line, all of them with a hopeful look hanging in his direction. Ryan quietly sat next to him and watched, waiting to see what they were about to do. Robb cleared his throat and spoke loudly, formal as if they were announcing somekind of national news.

 

"All of our team and our parents had made the decision to ask you to be the team's new coach." He said slowly and clear, and Ryan's eyes went wide. What? Why hadn't anybody told him about this?

 

"You understand us, you inspire us, and you are the coolest basketballer we've ever seen. We wish you to stay here in New York to guide us and be with the love of your life." The boy looked at Chad and Ryan, and all of them got down to one knee. "Will you pleeeeease be our coach, the coach of Campbellhall High School basketball team, from this championship until the last championship there is?"

 

Chad blinked rapidly at them, this is clearly the weirdest thing he could imagine they do. "Seriously? You kids are really proposing to me?"

 

"Yes, yes we are." The look on their face was more determine than ever. 

 

Chad didn't say anything for a few second, and then he bursted into laughter.

 

"Fine! I will be your coach, are you happy now?"

 

The boys jumped from their spot in excitement, bouncing around like crazy, and Ryan got closer to him, the pink haired man was laughing too.

 

"You are really staying in New York?"

 

"Yeah," Chad held his hips and lifted him off the ground, pulling him into his tight embrace. "Of course, if you want me to." He paused. "Do you want me to?"

 

"Are you kidding me?" Ryan jumped in his lap, grabbed his shoulders and shook violently. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"


	24. Of the moment everything collapse

Ryan stepped out of the door of his apartment with a wide grin across his face. Suddenly everything around him was covered in a golden, glittery happy shade of color, and he walked to his car in the parking lot with a melody hummed in his throat. Yesterday was too emotional, too much happiness bloomed over only twenty four hours that made him overload with it.

 

After many days of hard practicing and rehearsing, his dancing students had a wonderful performance at the Summer Musicale, and for the first time in forever, he felt extremely proud. And then out of the blue, he found out Chad decided to finally moved here with him to New York after having a new job as the coach of the Campbellhall High school basketball team, the Campbellhall's Direwolves, apparently, and nothing could be better. A few weeks ago, he was still hopeless about the future of their relationship and about how they could be together when they were a million miles apart, but right now, everything was perfect. He never realized having Chad here could change both of their lives entirely like this.

 

Chad convinced him that he could dance again after all those years, gave him the best chance to proved himself and brought back his long lost passion. Chad also got over his wound of not having what it took to be a professional basketball player, and found a new way to continue persuing his dream: leading a team of high school basketballers, which didn't sound very glorious, but was his pride and joy. Ryan couldn't recall of another time he heard that much excitement and pure love in Chad's voice, when he told Ryan about what he would do to get the Campbellhall's Direwolves to the championship's finals. They all took their different turns from high school, and even though none of where they were now really what they expected to be ten years ago, their passions had never changed. The only thing that wasn't different from high school, and the best thing, was the fact that they were together. Not just together, but about to move in and literally live together as a couple. And after a long trail of failed relationships and self doubt, Ryan had the feelings that this might be his happy ending.

 

Chad decided to stay in New York with him, of course, but then he couldn't just stay straight away. He still had to go home to pack all of his stuff, tell his family and quit his job before really moving in, so now Chad was in the apartment, booking plane tickets to fly to Albuquerque, and Ryan went out for his regular medical check up. He also had a meeting with a rather famous DJ about his latest original song that he had just wrote a few days ago to give Chad as a gift. He had finished the recording and background music, his team already working on the PR of the new single and ready to release the song and the albums, but if this deal worked out, the song would have a nice touch of electronic dance mixed in, and it would be amazing. Sporty and catchy, just like Chad's favorites.

 

He promised Chad to come home as soon as he can, and drove to the doctor's. The doctor was from Evans family's personal pack, and he was the best out of them. Ryan's parents were concerned about his injured legs, so they sent their best personal doctor to New York to help their son, and he kept the habit to come to the man regularly to make sure the metal rods in his legs were still in place. Especially this morning, when they started to be a little painful, and since he tried out dancing again, he wanted to see if anything was wrong, and if his doctor had any advice about it to prevent unwanted effects from occuring. He was rather nervous when he told this to the doctor, fearing he would ask him to stop dancing immediately, but to Ryan's surprise, his doctor congratulated him and encouraged him to continue his activities, as long as he knew the limits and never tried to cross them. Ryan wanted to still be able to walk, of course, so he nodded obediently and made sure not to get to hardcore with his dancing. The pain this morning was not serious, it was just like the previous ones, and would eventually die down in a couple more days. Just teaching high school students was enough.

 

The morning went smoothly, he left the doctor's with a good luck to his teaching career, and had lunch with the DJ, successfully persuaded her into collaborate with Ryan in this music product. The DJ woman seemed impressed with his work, saying the melody and the lyrics were all stunning, and signed the deal with him right away. In only a short time later, he would be the one giving Chad the first copy of the single in a beautifully wrapped box to welcome him to New York. Run right back to you, was the name of the song. It was all about how Ryan could go to a different city, have a new life and become a new person, but just a look at Chad and he would run right back to him no matter how many relationship he had gone through. And at the end, everything comes back to the guy he had a crush on since high school. 

 

Ryan came back to the apartment in the afternoon with still that grin on his face, and opened the door.

 

"Honey, I'm home!" Ugh, cheesy and dreamy, like something Troy and Gabriella would say to each other, but he couldn't help it.

 

He expected Chad to come with the girls over to welcome him home, but the curly haired man was nowhere to be seen. He frowned and called a few more times, checking over every room to find the other man. Turned out he was sitting in the kitchen waiting for Ryan. 

 

But the moment he saw the look on his face, he knew something was wrong. It was not welcoming, warm or happy, but furious, cold and...dark. Ryan couldn't make out the rest of the swirling emotions in his eyes, but he panicked immediately when he saw Chad. Something was terribly wrong, and he didn't know why.

 

"Chad?" He blinked, the question hung unspoken in the air.

 

"Lots of people called you today." The other man said, voice calm, but so cold it sent shivers down Ryan's spine. "You didn't pick up, so they called to your apartment."

 

"Who?"

 

"The company responsible for the alarm system here. Asked for your opinions on the perfomance of their product." Chad answered, and Ryan's heart stopped. God, no. "Turned out you were so afraid of me betraying you after seeing what Cheryl did to Kelsi that you secretly installed an alarm system that will send signals to the police if any of the furniture was moved out of the door."

 

Ryan grabbed so tight on the table that his knuckles turned white.

 

"And do you know why I came to that conclusion after knowing about the alarm?" He pulled his phone out of his pocket and put it on the table. "Because I found a tracking app in here, and in my laptop. Lead back to your phone."

 

"Chad, I..." His throat tighten as he spoke, his voice hoarse and crumbling.

 

"And then another call from a private investigator to the apartment, asking about her payment." Chad looked at him in the eyes. "I thought you hired a PI to follow me and make sure I don't leave New York with your money, so I asked her why she called, but thank god, you didn't do that."

 

Ryan bit his lip, looked at him, desperately waited for the other shoe to drop. He had always knew how Chad would react to this.

 

"I opened your laptop to see the video she sent you, I hope you don't mind." Chad clenched his teeth. "Ryan Evans sends his regards. What a sweet revenge. You must have felt powerful then. But you didn't even think about the consequences of your actions when you did that, did you?"

 

"Consequences?" Ryan whispered, confused.

 

"Cheryl commited suicide out of her house the night that video was sent to you." Chad growled. "She killed herself when she found out your sweet revenge took everything from her."

 

"What?" Ryan's eyes opened wide, his breath caught in his throat, his hand trembled uncontrollably. "No, how could she..."

 

"The police found her body the other day and called, but both you and Kelsi were busy, so I picked up the phone." Chad stood up from his chair. "You found her, but you didn't turn her in to the police so she could pay for her crimes. You decided to ruin her life the exact way she destroyed Kelsi's, and your little satisfaction led to her death."

 

The pink haired man didn't reply. He was still trying to take in Chad's words, face paled every second. His whole body shook as he leaned to the table for support, eyes wide in shock. Pain. Fear.

 

"Or maybe you did know what she was going to do and still did that anyway?" Chad looked down at him, anger and disgust crept over his face. Ryan shook his head frantically, voice so weak the other one almost didn't hear it.

 

"No, no, I would never..."

 

"Yesterday, I thought I knew you." Chad whispered, closed his eyes, tried not to show his disappointment. "This whole time, I thought you trusted me and appreciated me for not betraying you like Cheryl. But now I realize you never trusted me at all."

 

"Chad, please, just..."

 

"If you didn't trust me, you could have just let me go back to the motel I supposed to stay."

 

"I can't..."

 

"And yesterday, I thought you are the Ryan I knew from East High. But now, you turn out to be a murderer."

 

"No, that's not..."

 

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that's not right." He gritted from behind his teeth. "Tell me if it was someone else, doing some horrible things to another person that made her kill herself, you would still tell them they wasn't the ones responsible for her murder."

 

Ryan went silent. His lips trembled, breath rapid, face crumbled as tears rolled down his cheeks continuously. His beautiful, deep ocean blue eyes opened wide at Chad's words, his blond, long and curved eyelashes wet with tears in front of Chad's eyes, and Chad realized he loved this man with every pieces of his heart. And his heart broke in to every pieces because of this man.

 

He took a deep breath, picked up all of his belongings on the floor and stepped out of the door as quickly as he could. He heard Ryan trying to run after him, but fell on his painful legs. He walked faster, tried so hard not to turn around and hold the other man in his arms, wipe away his tears, kiss him and tell him everything is gonna be alright. Because it isn't.


	25. Of the self-harm

Kelsi opened the door and stepped in, closed it behind her. Margaery, Ryan's and her Doberman, ran to her with tail wagging, but the others were nowhere to be seen. It was unusual, since she was often the one coming home sooner than Ryan, and all the girls were dying to have someone home. They should all be here to greet her with enthusiasm.

 

Margaery bit the hem of her dress and pulled her into the apartment, and she followed the dog, finding what she was trying to show her. The Doberman lead Kelsi to Ryan's apartment, crossing the kitchen and straight to the bathroom upstairs, and she finally saw the rest of the girls sitting nervously outside the door. They were worried, ears erect and couldn't stop making small whining noise towards the bathroom door. When they saw Kelsi, the German Shepherd barked loudly and pushed her to the door. Ryan must be in there. Something's not right, and Kelsi's instinctive alarm went on flairing non stop.

 

"Ryan? You in there?" She knocked on the door a few times, but no one answered. She frowned, but the dogs kept clawing on the door and whining, so she knocked and called his name some more.

 

Still the cold silence. Ryan had never acted like this before. Only one time, and it was since the days his mind was still unstable after the accident. He locked himself in his room and... Jesus. Kelsi desperately banged on the door, yelled his name, asked him to open it right away, but she didn't get any reply. She ran down to get the lockbreaker, the one she bought and always kept with her since that day, and after a few minutes, she broke open the bathroom door.

 

The girls quickly got inside before her and led her to the corner of the room, where she saw her biggest fear. Ryan sat in the dark, narrow space, curled into a ball with a paper-knife in one hand, and a dozen of long, deep wounds bleeding on his other forearm, right on the old scars. Droplets of crimson liquid fell onto the white floor under him, and he pressed his lips, about to make a new cut next to them. Kelsi ran to him and pushed the knife away just before he slit the sharp edge through his already pale skin.

 

The pink haired man looked at her with red, angry, hurtful eyes, and crawled over, tried to take it back. She slamed a hand on his chest and he collapsed back onto the floor, not sure it was because of her great strength when she got serious, or because of his exhaustion from loosing blood. God, this was exactly like that time she got home to find him almost bleed himself to death, cutting and abusing his arms with long wounds. But this time, she was ten times more scared.

 

Her hand shook when she picked up the dripping paper-knife, threw it in the trash bin before finding the first aid kit to stop the bleeding. The last time, she had it coming. She saw Ryan got worse and worse everyday, and she was always cautious of his actions. She knew why he did that. But now, her heart beat hysterically in her chest as she held Ryan still and pushed the bandages over his wounds. She didn't have any clue why this horrible nightmare was happening again. This didn't make any sense. It was like trying to run away from a monster with her eyes blindfolded. Scared, worried, feared, and lost.

 

Ryan didn't say a word, watched her as she covered his wounds, tried to shake the bandages away and break out of her grasp. She got more and more fear as she could feel him being weaker than her, and moved her hands quicker. Thank god, finally the bleeding stopped. Ryan frowned, threw her a dark glare, but still, didn't say anything. He let her take care of the injuries, but refused to stand up when she pulled. He glared at her, eyes stared tearing up again, and moved back, closer against the wall, and away from her. Kelsi sighed from frustration, and in a blink of an eye, she pulled him into her lap and picked him up like he weight nothing. 

 

His blue eyes opened wide when Kelsi carried him out of the bathroom, headed to his bedroom and kicked the door open to get inside and finally put him down on the bed. Even in his unstable state, he couldn't hide his shock from seeing her carrying him like a puppy. Kelsi knew her time at the gym wasn't wasted, she breathed deeply. But now she wanted nothing more than not being able to lift him so easily. He was thin, so skinny and bony it hurts, and losing that much blood made him as white as a papersheet.

 

"Ryan, what happened? Why are you doing this?" She whispered, looked at him in his watery blue eyes, and the tears rolled down his cheeks.

 

His lips trembled, but he didn't say anything. 

 

"Where's Chad?" She looked around, and saw nothing. Her breath caught. "Oh god, did he..."

 

Ryan frantically shook his head, forcing words out of his mouth. "No, no... He didn't... He just...left..."

 

"He left you but your stuff is untouched?" Kelsi blinked. "Why did he leave?"

 

Ryan flinched violently, and his body trembled. He started crying again, face buried in his hands as he tried to get away from her, but she kept him in place. She exhaled softly as she patted him gently on his shoulders and caressed his back, tried to calm him down. She held him close in her arms and let his head leaned on her neck, comforting him tenderly. Thoughts collided in her mind, she didn't understand why Chad was leaving. Yesterday, he and Ryan were still so happy together. They kissed and hugged each other at the end of the show at Campbellhall High school, they never let go of each other's hands at the party, and they went to bed holding each other in their sleep. And even when Chad left... The Ryan she knew wouldn't hurt himself over a breakup. She saw him getting over nasty breakups with head up high, stubborn and strong, and even when he couldn't hide his depression from her eyes, he still acted tough. Maybe Chad meant more to him than anyone else... So much he fell right back to his self abusing past he had tried so hard to get out of.

 

"Kelsi..." Ryan whispered, and she looked at him, gently touched his hair. 

 

"What is it, Ryan? Are you gonna tell me why Chad left?"

 

He stared at her blankly, tears streamed down his face, and he spoke so softly she thought she couldn't make it out. But what she heard was unmistakable.

 

"I deserved it. I took someone's life."

 

.  
.  
.

 

"It's not his fault." Sharpay said immediately when Kelsi finished outlining the situation.

 

"He hired someone to seduce her boyfriend into betraying her, and she hang herself in front of her house." Kelsi impatiently tapped her fingers on the table. "You can't say he wasn't the cause of her death."

 

"I can, because it's true." The blond glared at her, lips pressed against each other. "He didn't kill her, she killed herself."

 

Kelsi sighed, pinched her forehead. Sharpay loved her brother, but sometimes she could be blinded by her affections. She refused to admit any bad thing that could involved her Ryan, and she protected him from every charges. Kelsi knew Ryan would never try to end someone's life on purpose, it was a terrible mistake, some actions that unexpectedly led to a horrifying consequence, but her mind told her he was the one responsible. Still, it didn't mean she would shake him up from his exhausting sleep to accuse him of being a slaughterer. She just wanted to make things clear with someone whose mind isn't suffering from a crisis, and tried to come to a solution. Fighting with Sharpay now isn't gonna help.

 

"That bitch fooled you! He made her taste her own medicine! She deserved that." Sharpay growled. "The fact that she killed herself after tasting her own medicine didn't have anything to do with him. It wasn't his fault."

 

"Okay, okay, stop. We can't help Ryan if we keep fighting like this." Kelsi bit her lip. "Leave this to the side. Now, what are we gonna do to get him out of this state? It took me hours to take him to sleep, and I already fed him as much sedative as it is safe for his life. He is gonna wake up, and we have to do something by then."

 

Sharpay sighed, she buried her face in her hands. "God, I can't believe I could let him hurt himself... I was in the same city as him, I was right next to him all the time and I let him do this in front of my eyes."

 

"No, no, we are helping Ryan here." Kelsi hurriedly cut her off. "Don't think about anything else. Focus on helping him."

 

Sharpay hugged herself as she nodded, looked at Kelsi. "We can't do this alone. We have to get Reyna. She'll know what to do."

 

Kelsi agreed with her. Reyna Allen, Ryan's old psychiatrist. They had hoped that he would never have to see her again, but right now, she was the only answer. She understood Ryan, and she had helped him with calming his mind down before. Kelsi turned around to look at Ryan, slept quietly on his bed with five girls curled under his bedfoot, and she knew that they also had a role in this. They had been here before, and they had got over it with Ryan before. They could do this again. 

 

"What about Chad?" Kelsi suddenly asked. "Should we tell him about Ryan right now?"

 

"The jerk left him immediately when something came up." Sharpay's face went dark. "He must have been the one making Ryan think it was his fault in the first place. He doesn't deserve to know. I want him out of Ryan's life."

 

Kelsi knew it was injustice to say that like Chad didn't love and care for Ryan at all, but she didn't protest. The man couldn't stand being in a relationship with someone who made such a serious mistake. He needed time and space to get his thoughts together, and maybe find a way to forgive Ryan. Right now, none of them are truly stable enough to make any decision.


	26. Of the one that got away

Chad hailed a cab and got inside, pulled his suitcase in with him. The driver was an old extremely suspicious-looking woman that had a pretty high chance of crashing the car into a lamp post on her way, with a cigarret smoking in her mouth, but Chad couldn't find himself to care. He sat silently in the car, mind still replaying what had just happened in his head, only jumped when the old lady asked him where to. He automatically answered the adress of the airport and doze back into his thoughts again, eyes looked out of the window but saw nothing but the face of his love. He had never felt such strong affection for anyone ever in his life. He thought his innocent feelings for Taylor in high school was his best memory of being in a genuine relationship, but now he couldn't stop thinking about Ryan.

  
Yesterday afternoon, he confronted the man about everything he found out: the tracking apps, the fact that he didn't trust him one bit, and the terrifying truth about Cheryl. The first two had already overwhelmed him with disappointment and doubt, and the last one was the one last explosion that swept away any last thing left. He had spent a few hours to sit quietly, looking at the apps in his phone and the video of Ryan's revenge on Cheryl, and thought about a hundred ways everything could happen between the two of them after that. He was torn between pushing everything behind them and simply forgiving Ryan's earlier actions, and pouring his pain and fury on the head of the other man. A part of him knew Ryan's reasons for not trusting him. After seeing how Kelsi turned out trying to have a serious relationship with the wrong person, it would be the wisest to not put too much trust in Chad. They might knew each other since high school, but anything could happened in the years they broke up, and the lies and cheats in this world were just so many that no one actually knew who to trust. But then Chad trusted Ryan. He had no slightest fracture of caution against this man, followed him anywhere he was led to, trying anything Ryan asked him to. The truth is, he was in the position of can't being harmed by Ryan in any way, but he had really trusted the man with all his heart. Even when he saw how miserble Kelsi was. He had hoped for a future with him, wanted to throw everything away to be with him, and then he found out Ryan still thought of him as a potential threat. It was disappointing, and painful. His head told him he should never blame Ryan, but his heart was hurt as hell, and he couldn't stand it.

  
At some point he wondered if he had overreacted and he was the bad guy for leaving Ryan like that. His legs were sore that morning, how would he go through a night alone on that cold, large bed? Chad was supposed to be filling the space and deal with the pain. He didn't want to leave at all. He was angry how can a dead girl still tear their lives apart, but he couldn't just let everything go and pretended none of them ever happened. So he told himself he only left for a while to think about it. And then after that, when he was more stable, he could see Ryan again and break up with him for real. Or come back to him and fix their relationship. He couldn't decide by then. His head was spinning, his eyes were watering from lack of sleep and the thought of leaving Ryan. He wished the man hadn't done that. He wished to be with him so much, and suddenly Ryan destroyed his fantasy of coming to New York and build a life with him.

  
He blacked out somewhere in the early morning in some random hotel on the way to the airport. He had already booked a ticket to Albuquerque this morning, and all he needed was to get on the plane and fly home. Then he would think, he would make a decision, or he could get some advice from his family about this. His little sisters understood him more than even himself, they would find a way.

  
The cab stopped at the entrance of the airport and Chad paid the driver before getting off. He absent-mindedly walked into the waiting hall and sat there, waiting for his turn to check in. He made Ryan cry. God, it was horrible. It was against everything his parents had taught him about how to treat his partner. He never let any of them cry, or sad when they were with him. He was kind to them, and every bad thing was their doings. This time, he hurt Ryan. The way tears streamed down his pale face, the way his lips trembled. He remembered every detail of it. Every once in a while he stopped on his way leaving and turned back to Ryan's apartment, but then after half the way, he turned around again to continue his departure. He just wanted to disappear from this earth. Or come back to the moment he found out about everything and punched himself out of it. Yeah, he could let Ryan get track of him, doesn't matter, as long as he didn't know.

  
Chad didn't remember how he managed to passed every procedure to get on the plane, or how he fell asleep.

  
.  
.  
.

  
_"Hi! What's your name?" The little girl bounced closer to him and asked excitedly. "Are you Chad's boyfriend?"_

  
_Ryan laughed as his cheeks got pinker a bit, but he got down on his knees to be the same height as the girl and smiled sunnily to her. "My name is Ryan. You can just call me Ry. I'm Chad's boyfriend."_

  
_"Oh my god Chad has a boyfriend!!!" The little girl yelled happily, and then suddenly remembered something._

  
_"Oh, oh, my name is Aurora. I'm Chad's youngest sister." She said formally, like she had to study the sentences by heart._

  
_"I never knew Chad had a little princess to be his sister." Ryan reached over to take her hand and spun her around in her place, and the girl giggled._

  
_"I don't think I'm a princess." She then looked at Ryan with round, innocent brown eyes. "I got ADHD."_

  
_"And I got dyslexia." Ryan whispered to her as if it was his secret. "Doesn't stop me from becoming a prince, or anything I wanna be. Do you wanna be a princess?"_

  
_"I can't be a princess, I'm a demigod, just like you." Aurora whispered back to him in his ears, clearly not letting any one else know it._

  
_It struck him about a novel he once read years ago, a fantasy story about Greek gods still exist in today's world, sleeping around with mortals and leaving a trail of bastards behind them. Those kids were demigods, and they were written in the story to have, coincidentally, ADHD and dyslexia. Gabriella gave the books to him as a birthday present to encourage him about his disorder, and he appreciated it now. Without those books, he wouldn't understand what the little girl was talking about._

  
_"Sometimes it's hard for me to read English you know," He sighed dramatically. "Why can't people just read and write in ancient greek? Everything would be so much easier."_

  
_"My ADHD is kinda serious," Aurora blinked. "But it's fine! It means my head is so ready to go to battles! I can't wait to go to battles and fight like a worrior!"_

  
_Ryan smiled and patted her head as she giggled and snuggled in to give him a tight hug._

  
_"Oh, I forgot!" She exclaimed. And then turned back to her secret voice. "My mom is Aphrodite, for sure. She's so pretty, and Chad's so pretty, and Minnie's so pretty, too. We all got her prettiness. Chad's also sporty too, and it was weird, but I guess it's from my dad."_

  
_"Yes." Ryan laughed lightly. "I can say that Chad is handsome. And you are beautiful."_

  
_"Who is your god parent?" She asked, and then cut him off before he could make up an answer. Vance Evans, the god of the stock market? Or Derby Evans, the goddess of yoga? "Wait, wait, let me guess."_

  
_She looked at him from head to toe, head tilted a little, and narrowed her eyes. "Chad talked about you all the time. He said you are a a cool singer, you acted in musicals and you are an ex...exper... dancer."_

  
_"Not expert yet," Ryan chuckled. "But I will be."_

  
_"And you have blond hair. And your smile is like sunshine." She looked at him with awe. "And you are pretty too! Your father is Apollo, the god of the sun and arts!"_

  
_It made lots of sense, Ryan told himself. He shrugged. "You got me."_

  
_"Yay!" The girl laughed and jumped into his arms. "And your and Chad's children are gonna be both pretty and good at sports and good at arts!"_

  
_Ryan picked the girl up in his arms and laughed. "I hope so."_

  
_And then another girl's voice echoed from the living room and Aurora frowned to him. "That's Minnie."_

  
_They must have the same kind of relationship as him and Sharpay, he supposed, and he stepped out of the kitchen to see the other girl. Chad had taken her from school and walked her into the house safely. Her mom shouldn't be so worried, he was extremely responsible for his sisters' well being. The girl, a little older than Aurora, also with dark skin, curly hair and brown eyes like her siblings, looked at him shyly from behind Chad. The boy laughed as he saw Ryan holding Aurora._

  
_"Hey. Have you been waiting long?"_

  
_"Not at all." The blond shook his head, and as a habit, reached his hand up to moved his hat a little. "You sister is cute."_

  
_"And you sure will be overload with their 'cuteness'," Chad rolled his eyes as he took Minnie closer to Ryan. "If you had to live with them for eighteen years of your life."_

  
_"Hello there," Ryan peaked at the girl behind him and waved his hand, but Chad ignored her sisters and pulled Ryan into a kiss. The blond kept one hand on his chest to keep them from crushing Aurora in the middle. The girl hissed and squirmed in his arm, so Chad broke their kiss, lift her off Ryan and put her down to the floor before coming back to held Ryan close and kissed him senseless. Both of the girls 'ew'ed, and ran out of the room to play with each other. Chad seemed to care nothing about them as he licked the blond's mouth and pressed his body against the hot flesh. He took the boy over to dinner today to see his family and made it official. He wasn't sure how his parents were gonna react about him coming out with a beautiful boyfriend coming home to see them, but he thought it was the right time. He was eighteen already, and his parents needed to know about his sexuality._

  
Chad blinked his eyes open as he woke up from the dream. It took him a few minutes to realize the plane was preparing to land. The dream was...surreal. Precisely detailed. As if he had just gone through it yesterday. He sighed, buried his face in his hands. Why did he have a dream about something that had happened ages ago? About Ryan before they went to college? Was his mind really so stuck with the man he couldn't even dream about anything else?

  
After a few minutes, the plane touched down, and he got up from his seat to followed the queue to get off the plane. He pulled his phone from his pocket to send a text to Aurora to pick him up from the airport. He really needed someone to talk to right now.


	27. Of guilt and regret

"You can stop pretending right now." He heard Sharpay's voice and the side of his bed dipped down a little with a source of warmth. "I know you're awake."

 

Ryan ignored her, kept his eyes closed, hoped she didn't see the trace of dried tears smeared all over his face. He had just got up from his large dose of sedatives and painkillers to hear Kelsi calling Reyna Allen, his old psychiatrist on the phone, and he decided to kept his eyes closed since then. His body felt like jelly, completely worn out from the losing of blood that he remebered clearly to drip from the wounds in his arm. The pain flaired from under the bandages, and from the inside of the bones in his legs. He couldn't move without doubling the pain already consumed his figure, so he lay as still as possible for hours after being awake. The feeling of this much pain hadn't been familiar to him since he stopped being depressed over his ended dancing career, and well, especially since Chad entered his life. Now all the memories came back, he couldn't stop feeling sorry for himself.

 

Such a pathetic scum, he blinked, looked blankly at the ceiling in hours. He had read so many novels in which the main couple was broken apart because of their misunderstandings and all the things they made up in their heads. But he and Chad, well, nothing was made up. He plotted a vengeance that cost a person's life, and no matter how terrible that human being could be, the blood was still on his hands. He also installed tracking apps on Chad's phone and laptop, and an alarm system in case Chad would trick and betray him. He showed Chad nothing but doubt, disrespect, and a monster inside him that the man found so terrifying he decided to leave. It was all his doing, no misunderstandings here, and he deserved every punishment. He deserved this tearing pain, this feeling of life being sucked out of him every second, and this guilt that was eating him from inside like somekind of acid. He feared himself.

 

How could he turned into that monster, he kept asking in his head, but no one answered. Chad was right to leave. He would suffer so much more if he stayed and continue to live with someone who will never trust him, who will always be ready to accuse him, and maybe pushed him into the path of suicide one day. He never realized how much he cared for Chad he might actually be deeply in love with the man until he was stepping out of the door. He wanted nothing more than this man in his life, from this day until his last days: living together in his apartment, coming home after work to see this man, cooking and eating dinner together, sleeping on the same bed and embracing each other until morning, but he was so full of himself he couldn't trust Chad for a moment. And he lost someone that was too important to him. Pathetic, he told himself. And totally deserved of what came for him.

 

He cried a lot after Chad left, and in his sleep. He was shocked to find out the consequences of his actions, he panicked, he was desperate seeing his loved one gone, and he was afraid of his own self. But now, thinking about it... Nothing went wrong. He was the monster, so karma punished him. He killed Cheryl, and he carried the guilt and the blame to his grave. Nothing unpredictable, nothing strange. It was just the normal way how this world worked. He didn't want to see Reyna. He wasn't hurt. Not the kind of hurt she could help with.

 

"You are very weak right now, Ryan." Sharpay tried again after a long time staring at him. "You need to drink more water and eat something to, at least, not die from losing too much blood."

 

"I'm not gonna die." He said, eyes still closed. "It's just a little blood. I've seen worse."

 

"God, Ryan." Sharpay sighed frustratingly. Tears started forming in her eyes as she gently stroke his hair. "Why did you do it? Why did you have to hurt yourself?"

 

"I deserved to be like that." He opened his eyes to look at her, repeated what he had been telling himself over the past hours. "I did horrible things. To Chad, and to other...people."

 

"You are doing a horrible thing to me right now," She hissed. "You are trying to kill off my only sibling, aren't you? Why do you have to hurt my twin brother?"

 

"I'm sorry." He whispered blankly and looked away.

 

"Would you please eat something?" She bit her lips. "I can feed you! Pumpkin and cream soup! It's your favorite! Please?"

 

"I don't feel like eating anything." He muttered. "I just want to stay still."

 

"Come on, Ryan." She groan. "You think you deserved this, but Kelsi and I have done nothing wrong to you, haven't we? Please don't do that to us. We are worried sick."

 

"You shouldn't be worried." His face remained expressionless. "You shouldn't be caring about me at all. I may hurt you someday."

 

"You won't hurt us. You didn't hurt anyone." She gripped his hand. "That Cheryl bitch did that to herself."

 

"You know it's not true. And I hurt Chad. I saw him crying on the way out." He tried to keep his breathing even. His throat clenched, and the painful feeling under the corner of his eyes told him he was gonna cry like a little girl again. "He hated me, and I deserved that."

 

"He was a jerk for leaving you right when some bad things happened to you." She shook her head, lips pressed firmly.

 

"I put a tracking app in his phone and laptop. The day I installed the alarm." He opened his mouth to let out ragged breath. "I didn't trust him while he trusted me with everything. That's why he left. And also because I'm a murderer."

 

"My god, how many times do I have to tell you that it's not your fault?!"

 

"You say that for long enough and you might fool me to believe it." The corner of his mouth curved up bitterly and his eyes started tearing up. He hated the feelings of crying. It hurts. He couldn't breathe, his throat and head hurt, and his eyes burned. Right now, even crying made him feel exhausted.

 

Sharpay curled up next to him and buried her face in his chest. He closed his eyes, caressed his sister's trembling shoulders. How could they not realize something so obvious? He closed his eyes and tears pooled up under his eyelids. They will hurt themselves trying to help him. They are hurting right now. He shouldn't be near anyone. He should be getting out of here.

 

He moved to the other side of the bed to leave some more space to Sharpay, and caressed her until she cried herself to sleep. And then, slowly and quietly, he rose from the bed. 

 

He had to stop for a moment mid air because of the pain that flowed alive through his body, it was like every tissue, every cell in his body was screaming from pain, or simply too dead to even make a sound. And then he carefully untangled himself from his sister and slid off the bed. It was hard, walking when all of his muscles were agonizingly numb, but he took small steps to the wardrobe and took out some clothes to change. He didn't know what he put on, just some shirt and slacks, and he walked out of the door, tried not to show his trembling. This is bad. Everything around him kept spinning, and he knew he was shaking like a leaf, but he still kept walking anyway. The girls woke up and gathered around him, nudged him happily, and for a second, he reconsidered his decision. He was going to miss them, they were his everything. But then, they only needed their mama, right? Their papa was broken. So he pushed himself past them. He somehow managed to get through the elevator and out in the streets. He shouldn't be driving right now if he didn't want to end some more lives, so he called a taxi and got in.

 

"Where to, hot pink babe?" The driver cheerfully greeted him, and he blurted out the only address in his mind that wasn't his apartment. The studio.

 

"Are you sure you don't want a trip to the hospital, sweetie?" The old lady asked. "You look like a corpse, don't be offended. You seriously need some help."

 

He wanted to scream. And shout. Telling her that she didn't know anything, she shouldn't interfere with other people's business, and she should shut up. But his strength didn't allow him to, so he simply shook his head. "Just drive."

 

The taxi started moving in the busy night streets, and the old woman, after a few minutes examining him, decided to talk again. The smoke from her cigarette made it difficult to breathe.

 

"Could you please..." He coughed, and his chest broke like there was a spear splitting it open. "Put it...off...and...open the door?"

 

The old woman did what he asked immediately, she looked at him with guilt when she knew she forgot about it. She must have driven a bunch of people around without sparing them some oxygen.

 

"You youngsters these days are emo." She clucked her tongue when she hit the gas pedal. "Crying and whining all the time about everything."

 

He gathered his last shards of energy to glare at her, but either it was too little threatening, or she just didn't care.

 

"There was this black boy getting to the airport from here." She shook her head. "Silent and bursted into tears along the way. He looked like he was gonna break into a weeping mess next to his luggage."

 

Chad. He let out a breathless laugh. The world had to remind him of how he broke this man's heart. He leaned back in his seat and let his body relaxed against the cheap leather. He's going to stay away from Kelsi and Sharpay for a while. He brought enough cash, so he wouldn't have to leave a trace of using credit card for them to find, and he would stay somewhere until they stopped looking for him. And then he would...well, think about what to do after that. His mind wasn't very clear then, so he didn't try to abuse it any further. Sharpay was the one with plots and schemes. He was the dumb brother who wore stupid hats and so illiterate he didn't know how to read a child's book. A children book.

 

"There you are, pink babe." The woman stopped in front of the studio. "You work here?"

 

He gave her the money and left the car, ignoring her question. He walked into the studio with slow, heavy steps and put his key in, twisted it and got in. It was dark inside, but he didn't even care to turn on the lights. He went straight to his familiar dancing room and sat down, leaned on the mirror. 

 

It came into his head that he had to leave this place soon, because Kelsi would come here looking for him first when she found out he left. God, he pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes.

 

He really was stupid.


	28. Of being the one that rescues, not being the one needs to be rescued

Ryan hurriedly ran to his car parking in the far end of the basement of the building and pressed the button on his key. The silver convertible chirped and flashed the lights almost immediately, and he opened the door to get in the driver's seat. On the opposite side, the teenage boy was slidding into the passenger seat at the same time, and the car moved out of the building as fast as it could. He had already texted Sharpay and Kelsi about his intention of going somewhere else without them to clear his mind, if they saw him here, right in the building of their apartments, they would tie him up and lock him in his room. He bet they would be thinking their brains out to guess where he was heading, but he was sure they wouldn't find out. Because he himself didn't know where he should be going until some minutes ago.

 

The day started with Ryan woke up in the dancing room of his studio, terrified realizing that he had passed out for more than just a few hours in the place. Looking at the clock, only a half more hour until Kelsi's normal time to arrive at the studio for her work, so he got up from the floor to get out of there extremely quickly despite his battered state. That was when he bumped into a boy who was also walking very fast in the opposite direction. One second and he found himself lying on the floor, stunned and every muscles melted like jelly. The boy gasped and helped him up on his feet, and he had to place a hand on the wall to stand straight. After a few seconds blinking trying to clear his vision in the dark, he realized he knew this boy. Not just knew, but knew very well. It was Robert Greywind, usually came with the name Robb, the team captain of the Campbellhall High school basketball team. Ryan thought after Chad's leaving, they would never have the chance to see each other again. The boy was nice. A good kid. Even when he invented the whole daddy Chad and mommy Ryan thing, which brought up some painful memories in Ryan's head.

 

"What are you doing here?" His eyebrows furrowed, his body in the position to push the teen aside to continue walking out any second.

 

"I... I came to see you. There's something I..." He stuttered, and suddenly realized Ryan was waiting to leave. "Are you leaving?"

 

"Yes. I'm in a hurry, I have to get out before Kelsi get here, and I'm really not in the mood to talk to anyone about anything, so I suppose we should move this conversation to some time in the future." He tried to get past the boy, but man, basketball players were tough. Or simply because he was too exhausted.

 

"Wait, wait, please, I don't have any other one to go to!" The boy held his two hands together, eyes squeezed shut. "I got kicked out of the house when I came out with my parents! I need your help! You are the only one that can help me right now! Because, you know, you..."

 

Ryan looked at him, waiting for him to finish the sentence, but both of them fell quiet. He blinked, considering things for a moment, and made a decision.

 

"We'll continue this on the way." He grabbed the boy's wrist and pulled him out of the door.

 

He shushed the boy the whole way they were on the cab heading back to Ryan's apartment building. It was the worst plan, running away from your house and then coming back after one night, like a wayward child come back home after trying to live in the streets for a few hours. But when the boy told him about having nowhere to go, the idea in his head last night got clearer than ever. He would take this kid to the place he's going to stay in, and then they would talk and figure things out later. He doubted his own plan last night, but with someone here who also needed a new roof to sleep under, it's the best to go now.

 

And after a night of sleep, even when on the cold, hard floor, he felt a little better. Also, the little amount of adrenaline rushed through his veins from the last minutes he ran from being seen by Kelsi made his mind clearer a bit. This boy is in need of his help, and only one sentence convinced him that he had to help the boy. So he decided to get home and get his car. He needed it to go to the place he wanted. It was risky, reckless, and could be recognized by Sharpay or Kelsi, but he wasn't thinking straight. He just knew he had to be in control of where he was going. 

 

After fifteen minutes, when the silver convertible was running smoothly on a quiet, empty street, the boy started shifting in his seat. Ryan let go of his held breath and glanced Robb through the corner of his eyes and asked.

 

"So, what's the full story?"

 

He knew the boy was looking at his bandaged forearm the whole time it stretched to roll the wheel, but he ignored the unsaid question.

 

"Uh, I, yeah." The boy bit his lip and looked away. "I... decided to come out with my parents last night. I had always knew my father would reacted badly, but not that bad. He hit me and I fell to the ground, mom had to stop him from punching me some more."

 

Ryan could see the bruises started darkening on the boy's jaw and cheekbones, and he sighed. Seemed like he wasn't the only one being in the middle of a mess. 

"He screamed and cursed me. Said he didn't do anything to deserve a faggot like me to be his child, and kicked me out of the door. My mom stopped him from killing me right there, but didn't try to keep me in her house either. So I left and I was about to go to the guys' houses to ask for a night over, but then I remembered you. I didn't know where you live, and you didn't answer your phone, so I came to the studio to wait."

 

"You slept there?" Ryan looked at him. "All night? In the yard? How could I not see you?"

 

"I guess we were just too tired to recognize our surroundings." Robb shrugged, and he agreed.

 

"So instead of choosing to get help, support and advice from your own close, brotherly teammates, you decided to come to find me in the middle of the night and slept there to wait for me?" Ryan groaned.

 

"...I wanted to talk to Chad, actually. But he didn't pick up his phone either. I tried so hard to contact him after he accepted to be our coach, but he kept ignoring us, so I wanted to ask you about that too."

 

"So you're homeless, have no family or anyone to take care of you and you cared about basketball?!" Ryan hated where the conversation headed.

 

"Jeez, stop questioning my choice! I just thought that you and Chad are out and proud and together and all, so you guys'll understand me the best and you might be able to help me." The boy rolled his eyes. "The guys were nice, but they knew nothing about this."

 

Ryan didn't answer for a moment, silently drove on the streets, eyes stared blankly outside in the day full of sunshine. And then he spoke softly. "I'm taking you to a place I'm going to stay for the next weeks. You can stay with me there while I figure something out."

 

"You're not coming back home? I thought you lived there. First Chad didn't live there, and now you're not living there, what exactly is that place?"

 

"God, would you stop talking about Chad?!" Ryan snapped, and the boy bit his tongue. He eyed the pink haired man slowly and cautiously, but kept silent. 

 

Everything stayed that way when the car arrived at a small hotel on the side of the street. Robb recognized this to be the outskirts, or some place less populated of the city, rather quiet and peaceful. Close to the nature, with trees and flowers everywhere, and was in vintage style. The kind of old, dusty with full of printed or engraved curly worn out patterns. Wasn't his cup of tea, but it's better than living in the streets, and he knew Ryan was ridiculously rich (he used to be, too), so he wouldn't choose a terrible place. The next days of learning how to live out of the closet and without tons of money to spend mindlessly would be very hard to swallow, he sighed to himself.

 

Ryan said something to the receptionist, and then led him to their double room. He didn't show any sign of wanting to talk, face dark and angry, and looked so pale and worn out that Robb was worried a bit. He was the one kicked out of the house and he wasn't so...battered. And he realized, maybe Ryan bumped into him this morning because he was also sleeping there, just not outside in the yard. There was a lot of questions going on in his head, seeing his old dancing teacher in such a terrible state. He couldn't stop himself from gazing at the man most of the time wondering what happened, and after a long while, Ryan ran out of patient ignoring him.

 

"You hungry? Want me to call you something to eat?" The pink haired man asked, voice calm and caring. "Have you eaten anything last night, or your mother kicked you out before letting you have dinner?"

 

Robb's stomach growled at the words before he could answer, and he saw Ryan's mouth curved up a slightest bit. The man picked up the telephone on the nightstand between their two beds while the teen looked through the short menu, and concluded when Ryan looked at him for a name. "Two pumpkin and cream soup. With toast."

 

The man paused a little before repeating his words to the receptionist, and when he put down the phone, he asked. "You are that hungry? The soup here is quite big."

 

"Nah. One is for you." Robb shook his head. 

 

"If you say one more word about how pale I am and I need to eat, I will end you." Ryan glared at him, but he was unwavering.

 

"One is for you because it's time for lunch and we all need to eat."

 

"You can have both." Ryan muttered, lied down on the bed and pulled the cover up.

 

Robb didn't say anything after that. He just looked at Ryan skeptically, lips pressed like he was keeping inside him a lot of questions, but didn't dare to say them to the scary pink haired man before thinking it through. Ryan closed his eyes and lay still, but somehow Rob knew he couldn't sleep. If falling asleep for him was that easy and peaceful, the dark rings under his eyes wouldn't be there. And then out of nowhere, he bursted out.

 

"Did Chad hurt you? Did he hit you or abuse you mentally before he leave you?"

 

"What?!" Ryan's body shot up from the bed, and he immediately regretted that, because Jesus, it was dizzying.

 

"Well, your arm was in bandage, you walked too slowly, and I know a thousand people must have told you this before, but you look terrible. You look pale and thin and sick, like you've been through a breakdown." Robb moved closer. "And you yelled at me for mentioning Chad. You looked like you were about to cry."

 

"I didn't...!"

 

"You are running away from your own home. Is Chad still there?" The boy waved his hand dismissively. "No, the main question is, did he do this to you?"

 

"No!" Ryan exclaimed loudly. "I was the one did that to him! He didn't do anything to me!"

 

"You did what to him?"

 

The roomservice decided it was a good time to interfere, and Ryan couldn't be more grateful. Being questioned by a teenager wasn't something he liked to do. Why did people have to squeeze the answer about what happened out of him? How would he forget them if he had to repeat them over and over again?

 

He realized the boy was still looking at him, and he motioned his head to the door. "Go get it. I'm not gonna babysit you."

 

The boy answered the door and came back with two trays of food with large bowls of creamy orange colored thick soup and stacks of flawlessly grilled toast placed in the side next to them. He carefully put a tray down in front of Ryan, ignored the glares, and turned to his bed to eat his food. 

 

"For the love of gods," Robbed closed his eyes and purred when he put the spoon of soup in his mouth. "This is the most delicious thing I've ever eaten!"

 

Ryan still crossed his arms together, glaring at the boy. The beautifully cooked thick orange liquid was shimmering in the bowl, and the tempting smell filled the room. Ryan's stomach churned, and he suddenly felt nauseous. He blindly pushed the tray to the side and threw himself to the bathroom, just exactly in time to reach the toilet and threw up all of his inner organs in there. It was an exaggeration, of course, just how he thought it was, but he hadn't eaten anything for days. The only thing he could throw up was water. And some other digestive juices he was supposed to learn in high school. He coughed furiously after that, and collapsed on top of the toilet bowl, completely lifeless.

 

He felt someone sighed next to him after that, cleaned up his mess and pulled him back to his bed. 

 

"I'm sorry I forced you." The boy put covers on him and went back to eat his soup. "You don't have to eat that. Just get to sleep if you want."

 

Ryan looked at the boy through his half closed eyes, and whispered. "I'll tell you about Chad when I wake up."


	29. Of small talks and nightmares

"So he left you? Just like that?" Robb looked at Ryan from the other side of the room, and the pink haired man nodded. He paused for a bit and then added. "I'm so sorry to hear that. I thought you two were eternal."

 

"Eternal?" Ryan laughed bitterly. "Where does that come from?"

 

"Because well, I've never really seen a gay couple in their, you know, natural habitat before," The boy shrugged. "And I was kinda surprised to see some people so happy together. You two became somekind of example in me you know, like Superman and Lois Lane. Inseparable. So I thought if coming out can make you find each other in the other millions of people in this world, I should come out too."

 

"More like Superman with Batman." Ryan smirked and muttered, chin rested on his curled knees, back leaned on the wall. "No wonder we broke up. Superman was too kind for Batman. He was basically a freaking angel with superstrength and heat vision."

 

"Are you suggesting that Chad is an angel?" Robb cackled, and the other one didn't even flinch.

 

"Hottest one that ever fell down the Earth."

 

And they both broke into laughter. It cleared up some nervousness that had been heavy in Ryan's chest ever since he woke up. Robb saw how he paled when he was about to tell his story with Chad and said he didn't have to do it, but he knew the boy deserved to know. He needed to know why his dream coach decided to leave him and the team without a word and not blame the man for it. It was all Ryan's doing, and he should understand that. He had done so many wrong things lately, and at least he should stop making more mistakes and misunderstandings.

 

"I had a crush on Chad too, you know." Robb whispered with voice so small he hoped Ryan didn't hear it, but of course, the other one did so well. But in contrary to the shocked and pissed off reactions he expected, Ryan didn't explode into a giant deadly mushroom of jealousy.

 

"Yeah." The man answered with not much enthusiasm, eyed him across the room. "You seemed to admire him a lot."

 

"He was always...inspiring. He was patient, passionate and talented in basketball. He cared for the team, he understood every single one of us, he... handled everyone with care." The boy embarrassingly hid his face in his hands, only left a small slit between his fingers to let the voice come out. "And I don't know if I'm weak or anything, but I really wanna have someone like him to lean on in this world. I saw how he treated you and I wished he would instead look at me that way and catch me whenever I throw myself from the table top in a dance like that."

 

Ryan didn't reply, so after almost a minute full of awkward silence, Robb slowly let down his hands covering his face, ready to apologize. But in front of him was a devious smirk.

 

"Good thing for you now he's single." Ryan said and the boy blushed fiercely. He moved closer to him and tilted his head. "Is that why you chose to go to us when your parents kicked you out? So he can open his strong arms and protect you?"

 

Robb bit his lip and curled back into the ball of embarrassment again, pulled up the cover to wrap around himself. For the first time in the past two days, he heard Ryan really laughed. Not the bitter, sarcastic bitchy kind of laugh, but a real, genuine laugh. He must be thinking how cute teenagers nowadays were.

 

"Don't worry, little one," Ryan suddenly appeared next to him from out of nowhere, and patted his back. How did he even know where Robb's back was in that tight ball he turned himself into? "Chad is gone now, good for him because he deserves better, but at least you have me. I might be a pathetic broken weak crippled completely fucked up guy, and I might puked on you yesterday, but I have enough money to feed you and give you a roof over your head anytime until you have a chance to go elsewhere."

 

The boy poked his head out of the blanket to eye him, and then threw himself at him for a bear hug. Ryan opened his arms to welcome it, and gently caressed his back. The feelings of not hurting anyone and actually helping someone was a peace to his mind. He could feel himself less ready to die than the days before.

 

"Not for long." The teen shook his head lightly. "I'm in senior year now. All I need is a basketball scholarship and I'll be in college. I almost have it, I just need one more excellent season and they'll accept me. That's why I wanted Chad to lead the team so bad, I think he can help me get it."

 

"I'm sure we can find some replacement." Ryan comforted him. "You'll get it, I know you can. Chad should stay in Albuquerque, where he belongs."

 

"...You're really letting him stay there forever?" The boy asked with a tiny voice. 

 

"He has no reason to be here. His friends and family are there. Leaving was a wise decision, and I can't hope for him to get back here." Ryan's voice went sharp. "I don't want him to get back here. Maybe sometime in the future, I'll make some more stupid mistakes and hurt him again. He deserves so much better than me."

 

The boy pouted and sighed. "Now how am I ever gonna have a chance with Chad if he always had a guy like you madly in love with him?"

 

Ryan pushed him, hard, and got off his bed while he tried to stop bending in half laughing like crazy. Teenagers these days.

 

.  
.  
.

 

"Are you really not gonna eat? Not even a little?" Robb looked at him dismissively, and Ryan shook his head, focusing back on the audio book he was listening to. He started trying meditations to calm down, and he was glad it finally worked. It didn't make any different the days before, he tried but his fear and insecurity was too serious it stopped him from doing anything else but self harm. 

 

Talking to the little boy (not so little, but he was ten years younger than Ryan, so) about what happened was a relief, and nothing like the tearing pain he imagined. The boy was a good listener, like Reyna, and he encouraged and comforted Ryan to go on every time. It made him wonder if he should be mommy Ryan or he should be the one calling Robb mommy, especially now when the teen kept asking him to eat non stop. It's been days and he had finally been able to put some milk in his system, or he would die from starvation somewhere along the way, but he still couldn't stand the sight of food. It was frustrating, food used to be his reason to live, for god's sake! He loved food! 

 

And it's unavoidable to sometimes have the old, familiar guilt and fear creeping up his arms and torso whenever something reminded Ryan of it. The feelings came unexpected, and he had to stay still to control his heartbeat and breathing. He tried his best to keep it out of Robb's sight, of course, so he hurried the boy to go outside and play some basketball when he knew the panic attacks were on their way. The memories of the day Chad left kept flashing back in his mind and sometimes his dreams, and it's like having your heart broken over and over again. And Cheryl, oh my god. The nightmares of her with a thousand different ways to kill him back was eating him from the inside. That was something he couldn't hide from the boy. Not when he squirmed and trembled in his bed every night, sweat dripped down his body, and his heart pounded so heart his chest ached when he woke up. 

 

At first, it was just her face. Her reactions when she found out her beloved boyfriend left with all of the money she stole for him. And then her tears and screams when she found the bouquet of flowers in her secret safe. Those were the things he had truly seen with his eyes, but the nightmares didn't stop there. They continued to display him the imagined scenes of how she died. How she got up from the floor to find a proper rope in the empty house, find a good spot that she could loop the rope around, and how she hang herself in front of the house. It terrified him, and he couldn't stop thinking about it the next day. He didn't cry, because there was nothing to be sad about. He was just plain scared. Robb had helped, with giving him the sedatives when he asked, and waking him from those nightmares to keep him from having a heart attack, even when that means waking up every few hours between his sleeps. He was grateful to have the boy by his side, but also guilty when he had to ask so much of him.

 

And then he started having nightmares about Cheryl killing him. He thought nothing could be as terrible as seeing how himself killed someone, but being killed was a thousand times worse. She suddenly appeared out of nowhere and strangled him with her own ropes. She, with long, sharp and bloody claws, tore his flesh apart piece by piece, as slowly and painfully as it could get. She, impaling him in the neck with so many metal rods and long spears that he ended up kneeling on the floor, head tipped back, throat exposed, and many, many rods spiking out of his neck in both directions and various angles. He was traumatized, but only the image of Chad standing silently watching from the background was enough for him to burst into tears.

 

Until one day, Robb decided he had to do something, or Ryan was going to die very soon.

 

"You're not going to school today?" The man asked, rubbed sleeplessness off his eyes when he sat up on the bed. "Where's your Uber?"

 

"I'm skipping school today." The boy was picking up his wallet, Ryan's wallet, his phone, and his car keys, and pushing him off the bed.

 

"What? What are you doing?" He blinked rapidly at the boy's impatient attitude, and Robb stood there, hands on his hips.

 

"Get up, clean yourself and change. We are going to solve your problem before you go mad."

 

Ryan was too weak to get his things back from the teen, so he had to do what he said. Fifteen minutes later, the pink haired man was sitting in the passenger seat of his own car and being taken to some place he didn't know where. If Sharpay knew he only took fifteen minutes to prepare his looks, she would shriek until all of the glass in the house break. She didn't allow anyone dressed like him right now to step foot into her house. Luckily, he told her he was fine and fabulous as always when he gave her a call the other day to assure her, so she wouldn't cry and think her brother was dead from nightmarish fashion.

 

Robb looked determined to take Ryan somewhere to solve some of his many problems. He remembered seeing the boy googling something in his phone until late last night, but knew nothing about it. Ryan was completely broken right now, haunted by his victim and brokenhearted by his tragic love life. Sharpay, Kelsi and his parents were his only reason to still breathe in this world now. In the recent days, Robb too. Even the penny-dreadful online newspapers had spent a tiny column to gossip about the famous singer's alarming mental stability, with some made up stories and twisted version of how he hurt himself and ran away from his own home. Robb read that and tried not to let Ryan see it, but he knew what was in the texts. They might be digging into Ryan's self harm past right now, posting fake, pitiful articles about how pathetic he was back in the days after the accident, and compared that to himself right now. They must have sent some paparazzi to hunt them down, but as far as he concerned, none of them found their way here, or Robb would be furious to see the rumours about Ryan and his new sugar baby leaving the city for a little pleasure vacation in the outskirts. (They called Chad a chocolate baby and Ryan a sugar daddy once and he had to gather all his strength to stop the man from burning the freaking building down.)

 

"Where are you taking me?" Ryan muttered, glanced at him with tired eyes. They had been traveling for hours, and he could see that the car was leaving New York to another city.

 

"Okay, so I've been seeing you getting worse and worse these days, about that Cheryl woman, and if it keeps happening, you will gonna die from lack of sleep and also, starvation, cause you haven't eaten anything." Robb said nervously, hands tighten on the wheel.

 

"Tell me something I don't know." Ryan sarcastically yawned, and Robb glared at him.

 

"So I've looked into this Cheryl woman for a few days. The news about her and the police records." His voice gone tiny.

 

"So that's why you came home so late yesterday and the day before that." Ryan turned and widen his eyes, raised his voice.

 

"I know, I'm sorry! But I found some useful things that will definitely help you!"

 

"You can't help me," Ryan rolled his eyes. "I'm fucked up. I killed a person, and that person is coming back to haunt me right now. There's nothing to fix, because everything is done."

 

"Yes, you can't bring her back from the dead." The boy sighed. "But you can still help the ones that are living."

 

"What does that mean?" Ryan had some extremely bad vibes from the house they were pulling in. 

 

"Don't panic." Robb pinched his arm when the boy saw him started getting pale. "This may be hard at first, but you'll get better."

 

That panicked him even more. And his heart stopped when he saw the names on the mail box.

 

Mr and Mrs Gardner. Cheryl's parents.


	30. Of forgiveness

Ryan had to put all his efforts into not giving in to his panic attack right now. He knew that color was slowly leaving his already too pale face, and his fists were trembling, but he couldn’t back out anymore. Robb stood next to him, gave him an encouraging glance and pushed the button. The sound of the bell echoed inside the house, and Ryan’s heartbeat and breathing started speeding up again. There were sounds of footsteps getting closer and closer to the door, and he could feel the boy’s warm hand on his shoulder, assuring. He squeezed his eyes shut when the door clicked open.

 

“How can I help you?” A middle-aged woman, probably some years younger than Ryan’s mother, was standing at the threshold with a confused look, and Robb quickly described himself when the man next to him went into shut down phase.

 

“I’m Robert Greywind, the one that sent you a letter? Have you received it?” He smiled gently, tried to make the situation less tense, because he could see the immediate change in her eyes.

 

“Yes, I remember you, Mr Greywind.” The woman nodded and opened the door wider for both of them to get in. “And your name is…?”

 

“…Evans. Ryan Evans.” Ryan couldn’t sound more hopeless as he constantly looked at Robb behind the woman’s back, wordlessly begged him to let him get out of here. He could feel himself getting closer and closer to his doom.

 

He knew this was a bad, a terrible idea the moment he heard it, Ryan bit the insides of his cheeks, tried not to run to the door. Robb’s hand clutched on his sleeve, stopping him from escaping, and he just wanted to bang his head onto the wall and die. He didn’t know what was happening until everything was too late, and they were pulling in the front yard of their house.

 

Ryan tried to persuade Robb to let go of the idea and please take him home before he collapse, but the boy was determined with fixing his problems this way. He refused to get out of the car, the whole body trembled when he yelled at the boy why he had to rub salt into his wound, but in a moment of weakness, he somehow let the boy convinced him to do this. 

 

Robb pointed at the board hanging on the fence with large letters printed on it. “Foreclosure: For sale. Bank owned.” He told Ryan that the money Cheryl stole from Kelsi was for her and her boyfriend’s flee to another city, but that wasn’t the only reason. The main one was to give to the bank so her parents would be able to take their house back. Her side business as a thief has provided them with everything they needed the past years, even when they knew nothing about it until the police informed them. Even when Cheryl was the worst thing that ever happened in Kelsi’s life, she only did it because her parents desperately needed help.

 

Her parents were about to have their house back until she committed suicide and left them with nothing. That day was the last deadline for them to gather enough money and transfer all of it to the bank, but obviously, they couldn’t manage such a large amount of money in a too short period of time. If they didn’t give the money in right then, they would be forced to move out the next day and end up on the streets. Cheryl’s last wish was to get some money to her parents, and they truly deserved to be helped, so it would be the best if Ryan spent some of his money to get the house back for the old couple.

 

The man’s eyes went wide at that, and Robb chose the right moment to catch his shoulders, lowered his voice and looked at him in the eye.

 

“They are innocent, decent people, whose backs are against the wall. Helping them would be the right thing to do, and an attempt to make it up to their loss of their daughter. Isn’t that what you’ve always needed?”

 

Ryan was still speechless, the information were too much on him. He looked at the boy with worried, confused and terrified eyes, so he continued.

 

“Everything that is happening to you, your nightmares, your instability, all of them came from one single cause. Guilt. It have been eating you from the inside, keeping you up from sleeps, and it is the reason you’ve been starving yourself. You are guilty of being the indirect reason of her death, and this is the chance to clear all that up. Make it up to them, and tell them how sorry you really are about this, and ask for their forgiveness.”

 

“…What if they never forgive me?” Ryan’s voice was shaking.

 

“There is only one way to find out.” The boy stepped out of the car and went to the other side to open the door for him. 

 

He had been convinced that he had a chance then. But the moment he saw the woman’s face, he knew his luck ran out. She suddenly turned serious, her expressions hard, and he could see how her eyes were still swollen. She must have cried for her little girl day and night, and the dark rings under her eyes told him that the house problem was exhausting her. He didn’t know if himself, or her look worse.

 

“Evans.” She said when they were all settled down around the table, with her husband there. It made him jumped. 

 

“…Yes?” He answered weakly, grateful for the fact that he was sitting in a chair. If it was a moment ago when he was standing, his knees would buckle and he would fall on the floor.

 

“You are the Evans that is also a victim of our daughter’s crimes?” She asked, sorrow started creeping over her features.

 

He bit his lip and nodded, wasn’t sure what the intention behind the question was.

 

“We are so sorry about the terrible things she did to you and your friend.” She lowered her head and sighed, tears pooled in her eyes. “We are such horrible parents that we were oblivious of her actions. We still can’t believe our daughter could do anything like that to anyone, we…”

 

No, no, this was not right. They didn’t know anything. They thought he was here to blame them for Cheryl’s crimes, and they must be thinking of all the things he would ask for to settle down or else he would sue them. They didn’t know her death was on his hand, and he was the one to blame here. They were heartbroken to know their daughter turned out to be a criminal and thought she killed herself when the police found her, but if he told them he was responsible for her suicide, that he was the one that pushed her to her death…

 

Robb stepped in. “Please, Mr. and Mrs. Gardner, everything is not your fault, and we are not here to accuse you of anything.” He shot Ryan an encouraging look, and continue. “You are safe with us.”

 

Mrs. Gardner didn’t know what to say, and quickly looked at her husband. The man was confused too, but he managed to come up with a question. “Then why are you…?”

 

The boy gently nudged Ryan’s shoulder, and he shut his eyes and said everything. Everything that had been tearing him up inside for so long it felt like a lifetime.

 

“I’m the reason Cheryl committed suicide. When I found out she betrayed and took all of my friend’s money, I hired an investigator to find her, and I was too angry and blind I… I asked the investigator to seduce her boyfriend into doing the same to her.”

 

The couple looked at them with shock, and Ryan’s heart exploded in his chest. His eyes stung, and he could felt tears rolling on his cheeks.

 

“I…I’m the one that pushed her to have no choice but to do it.” He buried his face in his hands, voice shattered. “I killed your daughter… I…couldn’t… I’m… sorry…”

 

The two of them were still too shocked to do, or say anything. They stared at him, speechless, and every second passed, Robb could feel how Ryan went worse. He would be damned if he made the only one that cared for him now broken forever.  
“Please excuse us, Mr. and Mrs. Gardner…” The boy took Ryan’s shoulder and tried to get him out of there, but Mrs. Gardner moved, and his heart stopped. She was trying to attack Ryan, oh god, he had to…

 

The pink haired man opened his eyes in a warm embrace. He tried to brush it off at first, thinking it was Robb, but when everything cleared behind the water in his eyes, his breath caught in his throat. It was Mrs. Gardner who was holding him, letting his head rest on her shoulder and caressed his back, humming soothing melody to him. Next to him, the boy didn’t know what to do when he saw the scene, and a few feet away, the middle-aged man didn’t move either. He was expressionless, and Ryan started panicking again.

 

Mrs. Gardner missed her daughter too much she started being paranoid and treated him like a child of her… The lullaby he was hearing in his ears… There was no way she was in a stable state of mind right now… He tried to push the woman away, but the next moment, he saw the man approach them, and he hugged both of them into his arms. 

 

“Oh, sweetie,” Mrs. Gardner touched his hair with shaking fingers. “Is that why you are so pale and skinny? Have you been blaming yourself the whole time?”

 

A weak voice answered, and he took a moment to realize it was his. “…It…It was me… I…”

 

“God, John, look at his arms,” She turned aside to look at her husband, and the man followed her gaze. “He’s been hurting himself… Sweetie, please stop doing this to yourself, it’s what Cheryl did that backfired her at the end, you have nothing to do with…”

 

“No, I do.” Ryan reached up to wipe away the water in his eyes, voice trembling. “I am the real reason she…”

 

“Hush,” She held him closer. “No need to torture yourself about it anymore. We forgive you, okay?”

 

He looked at Mr. Gardner, and the man nodded. “We forgive you, son.”

 

The weight was lifted off Robb’s chest when he looked at them holding Ryan in their arms and comforted him. He burst into tears, and suddenly it was like being a seven-year-old child failing the audition for the first time and cried in his parents’ arms again. A moment ago, Robb thought his plans crashed and burned and it would scar Ryan for the rest of his life, but now, everything went well. And he was sure that the thing happened today had probably saved Ryan’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really sure if I got Cheryl's parents' reactions right...  
> But the plot is the plot, so I have to deal with it


	31. Of the warm family dinner

Another message from Robb. Chad sighed as he ignored the notifications and finally decided to block the boy's account so he wouldn't have to see his name again. It was mean, suddenly disappeared and pretended that his time with the team didn't exist, but it was easier that way. Keeping in touch with the boys would be a never ending reminder of his wonderful time in New York, and since it was so wonderful, he wanted nothing more than to forget it.

 

 

It was hard, trying to erase the best memories he ever had in a while, and at the same time, coming back to the job and the life in Albuquerque that he was fed up with. The first days were like hell. His mind couldn't stop replaying the moment he walked away from Ryan's door, the painful disappointment of knowing you had never actually meant anything to the man at all. He sometimes wondered if Ryan ever considered him a serious relationship. Was he too naive to just talk to him through the computer, stay at his place for a few days and then became paranoid about how Ryan felt for him? He didn't know. And he wondered if the man missed him even a little after he left.

 

 

He spent the first week in Albuquerque sleepless at night, rolling from one side of the bed to the other, changing the lying positions every five seconds, and loathed the cold, empty feelings of his suddenly too large bed. No matter how many blankets and pillows he bought and stuffed around him like a fort, it was still painfully empty. His arms were empty, his embrace was empty, and he felt like there was also an empty hole in his heart, too. He was slightly guilty when he remembered what Ryan said about sleeping alone when his legs hurt, but then, since when did Ryan Evans have to spend a night alone? He might not have any relationship lasted more than a few weeks, but he never ran out of new ones. Unlike Chad, he sure would be fine.

 

 

It was like in almost everything he did, he had a vision about how it could be him and Ryan did it together. Waking up from the bed, brushing his teeth and shaving his chin, taking showers and cooking breakfast. His mind kept asking a question over and over: If Ryan was here, what would it be like? His dark apartment would be full of light, would be warm and welcome, everything he hated doing every day at home would be less atrocious and more caring, more sweet. He missed the angelic voice humming showtunes and breaking into Disney songs every five minutes, he missed dancing spontaneously around the rooms with a slim figure in his arms, and he terribly missed the bickering over how his suits were clashing with his tie. The lonely feelings went deep inside him, and he couldn't get the picture of the blond out of his head.

 

 

The talk with Aurora and Minnie about Ryan didn't help much. They couldn't find a way to comfort him or make him feel better, simply because their relationship ended too sour. Too salty actually, with both of Ryan's and his tears. Aurora hugged him and told him how sorry she was. She and Minnie were both so happy to know that they got back together after the reunion trip in the mountains. Ryan was the only one Chad brought home to introduce to his family, no one before him, and no one after him, even when Chad had been through countless dates and relationships with both men and women. And the fact that Ryan was so charming he immediately became Aurora's first crush only added to the memories. It was like a dream come true, seeing your brother, after a long time wandering around, lost and lonely, finally came back to his destined love that had always been in love with him since the beginning. But apparently destiny was an asshole, because he brought them together again just so he could break them apart one more time. Suddenly, true love turned out not to be as beautiful as her nineteen year old heart imagined, or maybe just didn't exist in this world.

 

 

She hated seeing her older brother so hollow and alone, now even worse after Ryan was out of his life. He was an adult, responsible and pride held him from expressing his emotions. He didn't talk much in the past, which already showed how depressed he was with his life and job here, but now he just didn't talk at all. Whenever Aurora saw him, he was always silent. Even when she asked him something, he only shook or nodded his head, or gave him what she asked for without a word. He didn't cry, didn't laugh, he concealed his feelings inside and showing nothing but an empty mask. He didn't want to show his weakness, how broken and hollow he became leaving his love and dream behind.

 

 

She wished the whole thing hadn't happened, probably just as much as he did. If only Chad had the chance to stay in New York, doing what he had loved since he was a toddler, living in a place that was busy and bright, with a partner he loved like he had never loved anyone before. It was perfect, the perfect life and future that he could almost reach, but it slid out of his grasp and collapsed into nothing.

The only place where he could have a chance of peace was his work, so he came back to spending fourteen hours diving into papers at the office, tried to drown out all of his senses. He came back to being the walking corpse of himself he had always been, as if nothing had changed.

 

 

That day was the day his family in Albuquerque came for a reunion: the family dinner on the second Sunday of every month. It felt like a lifetime since he had been with them, so it was supposed to be amazing to finally be with your family. But actually, it wasn't. Because Troy and Gabriella would be there. Don't assume wrong, he loved them a lot and he wanted to see them more than anything, but they also knew about his relationship with Ryan (all of the East High student body did), and on the other hand, had no idea about their breakup. They would start asking, and his parents, the only ones who didn't know, would start turning to him. And he would have to explain the terrible situation where his boyfriend was a murderer and didn't trust him at all.

 

 

And also where he was a total dick to accuse his boyfriend of something the man didn’t want to happen and didn’t give him any chance to explain, where he left him in the worst moment of his life to face everything on his own, and ignoring all of his attempts to make things right between them. Yes, Ryan started texting him a few days back, after a long time both of them trying to avoid thinking about each other. He wondered what changed the blond’s mind, but didn’t have the courage to open the notifications. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to expect from the message. He didn’t want to come back to Ryan, but the thoughts of reading a breakup message made him nauseous. His mind was a complete mess, not certain about what he wanted, what he needed, or what he should do next.

 

 

So he gave himself a way out: ignored all the messages, from Ryan, from Robb, even Kelsi for a while more until he finally gathered all his thoughts together and figured out what he wanted. That’s what he kept telling himself. Only if he knew when the time comes.

 

 

The phone rang, and just as he feared, it was Troy’s name flashing on the screen. He sighed and picked up.

 

 

“Hey, man.” Troy’s excited voice flooded his ears, and he could hear Gabriella’s giggles next to him. “So, it’s big family dinner tonight! Are we still invited or we’re gonna have to just crash in?”

 

 

“You guys are invited.” Chad rolled his eyes, smiled for a bit. No matter how stressful things were, his best friends could always make him feel a little better.

 

 

“Great! We’ll be there at seven!” The guy seemed even happier about Chad’s family dinner than Chad himself.

 

 

“We really miss you, Chad.” Gabi took over the phone and he knew she was smiling softly. “It’s been quite a while since we’ve met.”

 

 

“Yeah, sorry about not seeing you guys sooner.” Chad said apologetically. “Work has been awful, and so many things came up.”

 

 

“Does that include the fact that you finally end up with your high school crush?” Troy jumped in, and Chad fell onto his bed. See, he knew this was gonna happen. They didn’t know though, and both of them giggled sickenly sweet over the phone.

 

 

“And includes the fact that I broke up with him. Again. Worse, because this time it’s me who broke up, not him.” Chad muttered, and all the laughing stopped. He could imagine the two of them looking at each other in shock.

 

 

“…What?” Troy broke the silence. “You were just…living together the other day! And-And you told me you were having a new job in New York! I thought you were gonna tell us about moving in with him! What happened?”

 

 

“It’s a long story.”

 

 

“Make it short.” The other guy was stubborn.

 

 

“Well,” Chad sighed. “You knew Kelsi lived in an apartment right next to him. She had a girlfriend, and no one had any idea that the bitch was actually just there to trick Kelsi. Poor girl. They had been together for years, and when Kelsi finally decided to let her move in and gave her the key to her apartment, the bitch got in and stole all of her money and stuff and went selling it.”

 

 

“Oh god.” Gabi whispered.

 

 

“It happened on the exact day Ryan gave me the keys to his apartment and his car, so I was kinda worried. But he showed no sign of doubt, and he even told me he was lucky to have me, so I thought he really did trust me with everything. And then after a while, I found out he installed a tracking app in my phone and my laptop in case I ran away with his stuff, and he also set up an alarm system in his apartment to make sure I didn’t move any of the furniture out of the house.”

 

 

“God, Chad, it was…”

 

 

“And the worst part is, the police called to inform us that the girl who tricked and stole from Kelsi hang herself in front of her house, and I found out it was because Ryan hired someone to trick and steal from her just like that. She was left with nothing and decided to end her own life.”

 

 

“Jesus, how could that happen?” Troy finally exclaimed. “How could…”

 

 

“So yeah, I was pretty disappointed in knowing that he didn’t trust me, and he indirectly killed someone. So I thought I needed some time to think before talking to him about that, and I left.”

 

 

The other two went silent. Even Gabi didn’t know what to say to him.

 

 

“It happened long ago, and both me and him are trying to live with it, but it still kinda hurts to hear about him, because, I just say this because you are my real friends, I missed him. A lot. And I wanted us to be together, but with him acting that way, there was no chance that we can end up with each other. So now I’m trying to move on, and I will appreciate you guys not mentioning him to my parents, or to me, or to anyone.”

 

 

“No, we’re… we’re not.” Troy bit his lip, and Chad sighed.

 

 

“Amazing. See you guys again tonight. Don’t be late.”

 

 

.

.

.

 

 

Minnie went out to open the door when she heard the bell rang, and Chad took a deep breath. It’s okay, he told himself, they are my friends, I should be comfortable being around them. And he brought the large, steaming pot of soup from the kitchen to the neatly made table. The color of the soup was mouth-watering, and he was proud to be the one handling this dish. It was one of the main dish of tonight’s meal, and the rest were prepared and cooked by his family members. His mom made the spaghetti and meatballs, Minnie made the salad, Aurora cleaned up and made the table, and well, his dad seemed to be hiding from him a glamorous dessert that he promised to make everyone stunned. That sounded worth waiting for.

 

 

Troy and Gabriella had always been their guests even when they came to the meals all the time. Didn’t mean they passed all the work to the others: they arrived to the meal, spent the night with the Danforth family and helped with washing the dishes after the meal. It had been fun every time they stopped by.

 

 

They both looked wonderful, he had to say it because, jeez, even when he knew absolutely nothing about fashion, especially women’s fashion, Gabi’s dress looked mesmerizing. And Troy wore a suit and tie! That’s weird, Gabi could be changing her look every time she visited, but he had never went all formal like that. But, despite the weirdness, they were so cute together. And Troy even had a turquoise tie that matched the color of her dress! They looked like they could definitely go to high school prom right then. And seeing their happy smiles made Chad smile too. Even when he saw the sad and sorry in their eyes.

 

 

“Hey, dude!” He scooted over to give both of them a hug, and everyone settled down around the table, with all of the hot, delicious food.

 

 

The small chats were relaxing, and the warm atmosphere surrounding him was just wonderful. He wanted nothing more than to just come home and stay with his parents instead of living alone in his apartment, but he knew it was just a selfish dream of a little boy. No adult lives with their parents, doesn’t matter how lonely and frustrating it was being all by yourself. All he could do is enjoying the warm family meal tonight. It wasn’t that hard when they started telling funny stories, or simply stories. He contacted them often, but hearing their voices was endearing in a different way.

 

 

He was really focused on the story of all the ridiculous people Minnie met on the first day of her job when suddenly everyone went quiet and his father put up the volume of the news on TV. It was about an attack in New York city. Chad sighed as he picked up his glass and had a big gulp of whatever kind of fruit juice his mom insisted on having. He shouldn’t be flinching every time some things happened in New York went on the news. He shouldn’t be flinching at all of the little things that could remind him of Ryan, and in the past weeks, seemed like everything could.

 

 

_The victim was stabbed multiple times in the stomach area by Joff Garcell. The knife was left at the scene, and the victim was found in a life-threatening state. The doctors are trying their best to fight for his life. Garcell had got away before the police and the ambulance arrived, but spotted by several witnesses. He is officially known as a wanted criminal all over the state, the securities around all of the entrance of New York were tighten to arrest the man as soon as possible._ _The victim’s name is Ryan Evans, an actor, singer and choreographer in Hollywood and Broadway. He is believed to be involved in the death of Garcell’s girlfriend and this attack was a brutal, cold-hearted revenge._

Chad’s eyes shot up from the table. A pink haired man with the most familiar face was shown on the screen, and his heart twisted at what he just heard. No no no no no…

 

 

Before anyone could say anything, he got off the table and ran to his room where he left his cellphone and it took him almost a minute to open the lock and dial Kelsi’s number with his trembling fingers. He pressed the phone to his ear, heart throbbed in his chest and knees buckled. No answer. He shook violently as he tried to call Sharpay, but everything he got was a long ring, and it went straight to her voice mail.

 

 

He stuffed the phone in his pocket and ran out of the door, heading to the garage. His key is right in his pocket, he could…

 

 

“Wait, Chad! What are you doing?” Troy held his shoulder and pulled him back. He looked at his best friend with wide, panic eyes. He didn’t know what he was doing.

 

 

“I… I’m going to…”

 

 

“You’re going to drive the whole way to New York?” The man shook him. “What were you thinking? It’s gonna take you days!”

 

 

“What do you want me to do?” He yelled. “Booking plane tickets will take me days too! I can’t just sit there and wait!”

 

 

“Come on, let’s go.” Gabriella came and took his arms, pulled him along when the two of them ran to Troy’s car. “There’s a way to get there in only a few hours. We’ll go with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reunion's coming!  
> Just not as easy and peaceful as you guys expected.  
> One thing about being a superhero fan: I love making blood spilled.  
> And Ryan's too pretty to be clean.


	32. Of loving fathers and boyfriends

From: Robb Greywind  
To: Chad Danforth  
Monday, June 4th, 2018  
10:20 AM  
Hey, coach! We've been waiting here for two hours already! Where are you? You can't bail us on our first practice, that's mean!

 

  
From: Robb Greywind  
To: Chad Danforth  
Monday, June 4th, 2018  
11:27 PM  
We stopped the studio, no one saw you anywhere. You said you would be back after finish packing in Albuquerque! Did you miss your flight? What happened?

 

  
From: Robb Greywind  
To: Chad Danforth  
Tuesday, June 5th, 2018  
6:39 PM  
Please answer our calls, what's going on? Are you okay? Kelsi said you're not coming back. She didn't let us see Ryan. Did you two fight?

 

  
From: Robb Greywind  
To: Chad Danforth  
Wednesday, June 6th, 2018  
7:45 PM  
The team is worried about you, coach. From Kelsi's expression, the things between you and Ryan seemed nasty. If you say something, maybe we could help. Please don't ignore us, the championship is coming close, we need you.

 

  
From: Robb Greywind  
To: Chad Danforth  
Thursday, June 7th, 2018  
Oh my god, Kelsi told me you're staying in Albuquerque. Is the trouble with Ryan that serious? Please come back, I'm sure we can all fix this! You promised you would lead us in the games!

 

  
From: Robb Greywind  
To: Chad Danforth  
Saturday, June 9th, 2018  
I'm sorry, I shouldn't be thinking about the championship when you're having fights with your boyfriend. That's selfish. But I really want you to come here and stay. I've been asking Kelsi about what happened between you and him, but she didn't answer. We haven't seen Ryan in the studio for weeks, we don't have a good feeling about this. He didn't answer his phone either. Could you please text me back?

 

  
From: Robb Greywind  
To: Chad Danforth  
Tuesday, June 12th, 2018  
1:37 AM  
Chad, where are you? Are you still in Albuquerque? I don't know who I can find anymore.  
My parents threw me out of the house when I came out to them. I don't know what I thought. But I'm literally homeless right now, and I need someone's help. Are you around?

 

  
From: Robb Greywind  
To: Chad Danforth  
Tuesday, June 12th, 2018  
11:46 PM  
Well, everything's okay now, so you don't have to worry about me anymore. I decided to find Ryan instead, and he took me in. Not really, he was also out of his house, but he took me to a hotel and let me stay with him.  
I'm not sure if he's fine, Chad. He looked weak and exhausted. And he's even skinnier than usual, it's impossible, but it is. What really happened with you guys? He looked like he was about to die. He snapped at me for mentioning your name, and he had this bandage over his arm, and he puked even before he tried to eat anything. He said he haven't eaten anything for days. I think he cut his own arm and starved himself.  
I know you two are mad at each other, but he's really sick, Chad. Can you please do something? I'm worried.

 

  
From: Robb Greywind  
To: Chad Danforth  
Thursday, June 14th, 2018  
9:23 AM  
Ryan told me about why you fight. It's terrible, I can't imagine something like that. I understand if you wanted to leave.  
But Ryan looked painful, too, you know. He regretted what he did to you. Whenever I ask him about you, he always says that he was wrong, he was the worst person in the world, and you deserve better. He hated himself for what he did, and I feet sorry for him.  
I don't think he wanted things to end up that way, it was just a mistake. He's paying really hard for it now, I just can't stuff anything into his mouth. He keeps staying in bed and starving himself. I know he made a mistake, but he's killing himself like this. Please come here and stop him, I'm useless right now, he doesn't listen to me.

 

  
From: Robb Greywind  
To: Chad Danforth  
Friday, June 15th, 2018  
3:55 AM  
Chad, you have to come. He forbids me from telling Kelsi or anyone else where we are staying, I can't ask her to come and pick him up.  
He's having nightmares. It's terrifying, Chad. He trembled and cried a lot. I had to wake him up or he would have a heart attack. He needs you.

 

  
From: Robb Greywind  
To: Chad Danforth  
Tuesday, June 19th, 2018  
2:12 AM  
It's getting worse. He has nightmares everytime he closed his eyes now, so he tried to sleep less and less. Everything got more serious, because he doesn't just tremble and sweat in his nightmares anymore, he choked and screamed.  
I had to give him lots of sedatives to calm him down, and stay awake to make sure he doesn't fall off the bed.

 

 

  
From: Robb Greywind  
To: Chad Danforth  
Friday, June 22nd, 2018  
4:09 AM  
Please please please, we need you right now. If he keeps on like this, I don't know...  
He told me he had nightmares of that Cheryl woman tried to kill him. Strangle him, tear his body apart, things like that. He's having sedatives every two hours at night, I don't think he can take it.

 

 

  
Chad tried to calm his breaths when he read that text, everyone in the room looked at him with horror. Robb stopped sending any text after that, which made everything ten times worse.

 

 

  
"There's-" Chad stuttered. "There's one message from Ryan the other day..."

 

 

  
"Open it." The man sat opposite him over the table commanded, and he obeyed. "Read it out loud."

 

 

  
From: Ryan Evans  
To: Chad Danforth  
Saturday, July 14th, 2018  
8:23 PM  
Hey, Chad. I don't know if you're still angry at me, but I hope you will read this. I went through a difficult time after you left. I can't tell you how guilty I am of what I did to Cheryl and to you, and I suppose you won't believe any of it even if I could.  
But there's this boy, Robb, the captain of the basketball team, I met him accidentally and he helped me with it. He took me to Cheryl's parents' house, and told me to help them. It's a long story, but Cheryl tricked Kelsi so she could send money to her parents and they could get their house back from the bank, and that was her last wish. I came and helped them with the money problem, and I asked for their forgiveness. It was scary facing the thing I feared most, but everything turned out fine at the end. They forgave me, and I brought them their house back. I feel a lot better now, Chad. I came home to Kelsi and Sharpay, and I went to see my psychiatrist. She said I'm improving.  
I know you will think just throwing some money in can't erase the terrible things I had done in the past, and I agree with you. I just need to tell you that I regret every single thing I did to you and Cheryl, and I did my best to fix my mistakes. I already make some of it up to Cheryl, but I haven't make up to you, and I just want to do that. I'm doing everything so you can forgive me. Please call me back so we can figure this out?  
I'm not asking you to come here, or forget everything immediately, or anything you don't want. Just... call me, okay? I miss you.

 

  
From: Robb Greywind  
To: Chad Danforth  
Today, July 17th, 2018  
5:06 AM  
RYAN WAS ATTACKED  
HE'S IN EMERGENCY ROOM  
COME HERE NOW

 

  
Chad's voice trembled at the last words, and he dropped the phone to the table, buried his face in his hands. Next to him, Troy was still silently process all of the too terrifying information of what happened to Ryan, and Gabriella hugged Chad, gently stroke his shoulder blades. On the opposite side of the table, Vance Evans sat still. His blue eyes started blankly into the bright screen of Chad's phone, and he said nothing.

 

  
It was the middle of the night on an Evans private jet. Earlier in the evening, the news about Ryan's attack spread on TVs and radios like fire on a field. Chad, his family, Troy and Gabriella were having dinner when they saw Ryan on the news. He freaked out, acted blindly and was about to drive a thirty-hour-trip to New York to see Ryan, but luckily, Troy stopped him. He had made a call to Vance Evans, Ryan's father and asked for his help. The man still remembered him from the summer in Lava Spring, and he was also worried sick for his son while waiting for his jet to finally be brought out of its monthly maintainance. If it wasn't for that, he would have taken off hours ago and was on his way straight to New York. Troy explained their relationship to Ryan and asked him to let them come and visit with him.

 

  
The man said yes, in one condition. That Chad had to tell him everything about his relationship to Ryan, and what he knew about the reason he got attacked. With shaking voice, Chad told him about the things happened with Kelsi, Cheryl and the one that attack Ryan was probably her boyfriend, came to avenge her death after finding out Ryan tricked him into leaving her. And Vance asked him to read every text messages he got that had anything to do with Ryan since the day he left New York. The man's expressions were stone-hard at Chad's words, only his grips tighten on the wooden table, and his breaths stopped anytime the text mentioned Ryan's life-threatening state.

 

  
Chad should be worried, spending a night on a jet with his boyfriend's father, but thinking about such things was a luxury he couldn't afford then. He knew inside the calm and deadly quiet figure, there was a storm going on. He knew because that's how Ryan usually reacts against the disastrous nightmares happened to him. The time he lost his best friend, when the bastard asked a bunch of thugs to beat him up after he came out to him. The time he lost his team and the joy of friendship when he gave up baseball. The time he lost his first love when he broke up with Chad in high school. And the time he lost his greatest love and passion, when he thought he couldn't dance anymore. All of the lost, fear and pain now reflected in the exact blue eyes of his father, when he was on the verge of losing his son.

 

  
The man didn't show any emotions, but Chad could see the fear in his eyes. And he was feeling the same. Ryan was said to be stabbed multiple times in the stomach area. If what the news said was true, he had lost a lot of blood and his inner organs were horribly damaged from the attack. The chance for him to survive wasn't certain. Every minute pass by was every minute his life was at stake. Nothing could guarantee that he would wake up from this nightmare, and Chad touched his forehead on the cool surface of the table.

 

  
He is losing Ryan. And Ryan could be gone, thinking Chad hated him.

 


	33. Of worry and grief

"What took you so long?!" The blond woman stood up from the row of chairs next to the wall and ran towards her husband, eyes swollen red. Dried mascara smeared over her cheeks, but she didn't care.

  
"I'm so sorry honey, the jet was in maintenance and I didn't have anything else, I forced them to finish faster and I got here as soon as I could..." He took her in his arms and sighed, just looking at her brought out all of the worry inside him.

  
"You took too long." Derby glared at him through her wet eyes, squeezed him in her arms. "He had been attacked and all we did was just... My little ducky, how can someone ever hurt him? God, he must be so scared..."

  
"It's okay, it's alright," The man breathed in deeply and stroke her back. "He'll be fine. He's strong, I know he will."

  
Sharpay stepped closer to them and sniffed, her face so miserable she could burst into tears again any moment. "Daddy, I'm... I'm so sorry I couldn't protect him..."

  
"Oh, kitten, it's never your fault." Her mother pulled her into the hug, and the three of them held each other close, prayed for the life of the last family member.

  
Next to them, Chad, Troy and Gabriella stood quietly, worried and waiting. Gabi had to hold on Chad's arm to make sure he didn't smash everything in his way to get to Ryan's room the second they stepped down the jet. On the far side of the waiting room, they could see Kelsi and a raven haired boy dozing off from exhaustion on the bench. All of them were here. Chad saw Robb and wanted to come over to ask him about Ryan, but the boy looked so tired he didn't want to interrupt his sleep. According to what he texted, he didn't have good sleeps the whole time staying with Ryan, either. The boy must having been staying awake keeping an eye on Ryan in the emergency room.

  
"Danforth? What are you doing here?" Sharpay's attention turned to him, and she scowled, breaking from her parents' arms to get over his place, ready to push him away.

  
"I'm..." Chad babbled, wasn't ready to face her. He took a step back as she tried to get closer. "Sharpay, I'm here for Ryan..."

  
"Oh, so _now_ you're here for Ryan!" She growled, and for the first time, Chad was scared. He wasn't sure if he was scared of her, or the things he knew she would say. "You were _never_ there for him in the first place! If it wasn't for us and the boy over there, he would have killed himself because of you! You left him when he needed you the most and now you have the gut to _come_?!"

  
Troy got over to hold her back, tried to calm her down, but she was too upset to care.

  
"Stay away from my brother, you jerk. You don't deserve him." The girl batted Troy's hands off her shoulders and walked away, sat down on a chair.

  
Chad was stunned. The words burned his heart like hot knives. The whole time Ryan always thought it was his fault and he deserved to be punished that way. He thought Chad still hated him for what he did, and went through the worst periods of his life. Even when Chad had some reasons to leave, the fact that he wasn't there for Ryan when he struggled through those periods had already been unforgivable. Gabriella used her sweet voice to sooth him and led him to the chair as far from Sharpay as possible, and let him sit down. She and Troy sat next to him, nervously hold each other, and he could hear her quiet prayers.

  
Mr. and Mrs. Evans exchanged some whispers and questions, and Chad knew Derby was asking about him. Apparently, Sharpay hadn’t really told her about the situation, since Vance started explaining Chad’s relationship to their son, and everything that led to Ryan’s attack. Derby, unlike her husband, remembered Chad among the Lava Spring staff, mostly because her son probably had told her about him the summer they fell for each other. Chad also caddied for her all the time on the golf course, and she seemed to be fond of his dry, sarcastic attitude towards her children. The blond must have talked to her more than to Vance, sharing about his love life, so she actually had some outlines and perspective about this love interest of her son. Chad might even see her at some point when he came over to the Evans mansion to pick Ryan up for their dates. But everything between her and Chad only came that far, because after more than a year of dating, Ryan broke up with him and went to New York.

  
She listened to both Vance and Sharpay, kept raising her hand to tenderly patted the girl on the back to calm her down, and sometimes shot him a thoughtful look. He could say he didn’t care about her opinion when Ryan’s life was threatened, but that would be a lie. The feelings of being judged, even when he wasn’t sure what she really thought of him, was frustrating. He hated times like this, when suddenly everything around him turned into chaos, and he didn’t know what he really wanted, or needed.

  
He had been in a confusing state for weeks after coming home. He was so depressed and disappointed he left Ryan, but he missed the man like crazy and craved for his warmth, even in his dreams. He didn’t know if he wanted to break up with Ryan, or to come back to him, because both ideas were in the same level of impossible. And now when Ryan was hurt, he didn’t know what to do, either. After the long trip to get here, he realized it didn’t matter if he was there or not. Ryan’s life didn’t depend on him, he was helpless, clueless and useless. And what would he do if Ryan…no, what would he do _when_ Ryan wake up and recover? How would he face him and solve the problems between them?

  
He still haven’t decided if he should come back to Ryan or not. What would he do? Come to his bed and say hi? Ask him if he felt okay? And then what, fly back to Albuquerque and continue ignoring and erasing him out of his life, or stay and put everything behind him? And if he stayed, will they ever work? If he stayed, would they be together until the rest of their lives, or they would soon break up in the end because Ryan still couldn’t trust him?

  
And even when he tried to eliminate the dark thoughts, they still crept up his stomach and chuckled in his ears: _What if he never woke up again?_

  
“Hey, coach.” A face suddenly appeared so close to him that he flinched away in a nanosecond.

  
“Robb?! What’s that?”

  
“I had enough sleep.” The boy whispered. “I can stay awake and wait now. You should take your turn to close your eyes a bit. You look tired.”

  
Yeah, because he didn’t spend any of his time other than working and stressing himself out. And rolling in his bed trying to sleep without someone in his arms. But he hadn’t done anything that could be considered strenuous today. He didn’t need rest.

  
“Nah, I can wait.” He shook his head. “He’s gonna be up any moment.”

  
“We didn’t know you came.” Kelsi stepped closer to him, and he looked up at her tiny figure to find a pair of cautious eyes. As if she wasn’t certain about his motives of coming here.

  
“I went with Mr. Evans.” Chad tried to bit down his bitterness. Even Kelsi doubted him now. No wonder she didn’t pick up her phone. “And Troy and Gabriella, but they went somewhere to get drinks or something, I don’t know.”

  
The girl silently looked at him for a few more seconds, and he blurted out.

  
“You’re mad at me for leaving, aren’t you?” He squeezed his own arms, tore his eyes away. “It’s my fault he hurt himself?”

  
“I’m not mad at you, Chad.” She sighed and sat down next to him. “I know you still love him a lot. And you don’t want to see him hurt in any way.”

  
He nodded, still didn’t look at her.

  
“No matter how we feel about each other, everyone here has the same wish, is for Ryan to survive and recover.” The girl placed a hand on his arm, and he looked around the room.

  
It’s been hours since he came. Almost ten hours. On the other end of the row of seat, Sharpay was sleeping uncomfortably in her chair, head leaned on the wall, tried to sit up straight so she could stand up and bolted to the emergency room the moment someone announced Ryan’s well-being. Next to her, Mrs. Evans was leaning her head on her husband’s shoulder, and both of them were exhaustingly in their sleep. Robb stood near him, constantly glanced down the hall of the hospital with worried eyes. And on the chair to his right, Kelsi was biting her lip.

  
He pulled out his phone to check on the clock, and a bunch of notifications from Twitter and other social medias flared on the screen. New Tweets from all of his high school classmates, and he opened the app up to find hundreds of hashtag _Pray for Ryan_ from them, and from all of his fans across the globe. Ryan had always been deadpanning about how he was still not famous enough, but Chad could see how many fans cared for him right now.

  
Flowers and gifts were sent to the hospital constantly, and soon they piled up under their feet. Chad flicked through the news and pictures of people gathering to pray for Ryan’s safe recover flooded his screen. The man didn’t know how much people are waiting for him to come back. His family, his friends, his admirers. And Chad.

  
“Kelsi, how...how is he?" Chad's voice broke when he tried to ask, and the question came out... _stupid_. Late. Too late. Ten years too late.

  
"The doctors said his stomach, liver and instestine were damaged. The knife was driven deep inside his stomach and then pulled out to stab into a new position several times over, it was lucky he hadn't died the moment we found him. He had already lost too much blood." Kelsi whispered, and her tired eyes closed. "He's getting a multi-organism transplant. It's risky, but that's all we could do. The surgeons were replaced after they finished a phase, and all of the crew was trying their best. There's nothing in the world could be paid that isn't done for him right now."

  
Chad let out a frustrated sigh and leaned his head on the wall behind him. The longer he spent waiting, the more dark, fearful thoughts emerged in his head, stretch their vines to wrap around his insides, twisting it and spread the fear like poison in him. His hands shook as he tried to throw them out, but he couldn't stop himself from weakening under the weight of his own fear. It's like feeling the warm, pale, boney hand of the blond slipping out of his grasp slowly, but not knowing how to hold him back.

  
"Chad, I need you to listen to this." Kelsi offered an earbud from her phone, and he obediently put it in his ears.

  
In a second, the light, soft and angelic voice that he craved to hear for weeks surrounded him, and he stopped breathing. Tears welled up in the corner of his eyes uncontrollably as the melody of the voice and the guitar flooded his senses. Tender. Acoustic. Original. A new song written by Ryan.

  
_Run right back to you_ , the song kept repeating. _I can go to a different place, miles apart, leaving my past behind. I can changed so much even myself couldn't recognize. I can think that I've been in love so many times. But then somehow you came back into my life, and with you here, the sun is just a pale, distant orb that disappears at night. And I will always run right back to you._  
_All it takes is one look at you and an open arm, and doesn't matter if it's the whole world, I will fight. So I can run right back to you. Laugh at me, tell me I'm just a sentimental child. And kiss me, hold me and smile. Doesn't matter if I have to go through hell, or survive dinner with your mom and dad, I will try._ Chad laughed quietly at the words, didn't bother wiping away the tears rolling on his cheeks. _So I can run right back to you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making up lyrics of an imaginary song is hard.  
> Roses are red  
> Violets are blue  
> Rhyming is hard  
> I'm Batman.


	34. Of making up and coming back together

Chad tried, but his feet couldn't seem to move. Inside the room, only a wall away, everyone gathered around a white bed with the slim figure lying on the soft sheet, eyes closed in a peaceful sleep. Tears of relief, bright smiles on their face as they all look at the pink haired Snow White, still unconscious, but already gotten over the most fatal state. The operation went on successfully, his life was saved, and all of the fear, worried and grief gripping tight on their chests suddenly let go. Sharpay's sobs could be heard from even this far, and Chad didn't have to look into the room to know both of his parents were crying too.

  
He wanted to say he had always known Ryan was gonna survive all along. He wanted to say he was so sure of it, and he was only waiting for it to happen. But the moment the doctors announced that all was well, he had burst into tears like a child. He laughed, and he cried at the same time, body trembled from the feelings of relief. Suddenly everything was so bright, so colorful, so full of life. And just like the rest of them, he hurried to the room after the nurse, heart beat hysterically in his chest, hands shook violently. He wanted to see Ryan so bad. He never realized how much he missed the sight of the man, craved for it, desire it. He wanted nothing more than to come into the room, look at the sleeping beauty of his heart, who soon would wake up from his sleep and Chad could then hold him, touch him and kiss him senseless. He wanted nothing more than to be able to feel the familiar warmth, breath in the sweet scent, touch the soft flesh and wrap his arms around the slim body, and never let go again.

  
He wanted to do those things so bad... But he stopped the moment he came to the door. He was the last one to reach the room, everyone else had came closer to the bed, despite the hospital's rules about only letting family in for visit. He looked inside and saw so many people, all of them loved Ryan with all of their hearts, cared for him even more than themselves, and his feet automatically stopped. He stepped aside to hide behind the wall, leaned against it, and breathed in deeply. He wanted to come in, but he didn't know if he had the right to. After all, he was the one that abandoned Ryan when he went through the darkest moments of his life, wasn't he? Surrounding himself with the people that had been there for Ryan, loved him and sacrifice for him... Did he really deserve to see the man again?

  
He dropped everything and had the gut to come here only because at that moment, the man's life was threatened. He didn't think, he didn't consider anything, just do whatever it took to get to him, to do anything that needed to support and help him. But now when Ryan was finally safe and sound, in the arms of his family and the ones that loved him, Chad wasn't sure if he should come in. They had to wait for another seven days after the surgery was finished to give Ryan the time to recover. Only after that did they have the permission to come in and look at him. In those seven days, Chad spent his time picturing the moment he saw the man in his head, longed for that moment as if he had been waiting for years. But somehow the closer he got to the man, the more doubt started growing inside him. Ryan was not going to wake up any moment, the effects of the anesthetic still heavy on him, but they all kept quiet not to disturb him. Chad could imagine Sharpay's glares thrown around the room to forbid any noise to come out as they gathered near the bed. He was fragile, delicate as if he could break into pieces if someone got too close.

  
Maybe Chad should leave in silence. Knowing that the man is now safe and would soon wake up, talk and laugh again was enough to give him relief. Looking at Ryan now would destroy any willpower that Chad had to leave, and he would have to stay and face the one he had abandon before. When Ryan woke up, Chad didn't want the first thing he saw was someone who had never been there for him, or the first thing he thought about were the depressing memories in the past. Chad didn't want to do that to him. He would leave. Ryan would be in the arms of the people that could protect him instead of Chad, and he would be happy. Chad moved his feet to leave, but they still didn't move. He couldn't stop himself from listening to the tiny whispers and sobs of the people in the room, along with the steady, continuous sound of the heart machine that chirped in time with Ryan's heartbeat. The sound was slow and strong, calming his mind and sooth him. And Chad had to listen to that sound some more. If he didn't get to see Ryan, he needed this. So he sat down on the floor and pressed his ear onto the wall, letting the sound running through his head. His Ryan was safe. His Ryan was strong, full of vitality, and alive.

  
He didn't know how long he was there until a nurse came in and shushed people out to leave Ryan alone. They obeyed her and poured out of the room, headed to the waiting room on the opposite side of the hall, and somehow oblivious of Chad's existence. That was the time to go, he decided, and stood up, pulling his feet off the ground to step away. But the nurse got out of the room a few seconds later, and Chad's eyes glued to the bright entrance of the room. Empty except for the one person that he missed terribly. No one else could see him. No one would know he was there. What if... What if he just stopped by for a minute, really looked at the man's face for a minute and left, quietly and nobody would know. Yeah, the thought was tempting. And he did it without even realizing it.

  
Chad stepped into the room, clean and bright, got closer to the bed and looked at the one lying in it. He was wearing the hospital gown that he would winced at and asked for another one at least in the hot pink color, lying peacefully on the mattress and in the blanket, hatless and sleeping. Beautiful, so beautiful it hurts to look at. Even when he looked thinner, cheeks a tiny bit hollow, he was still the most stunning creature Chad had ever seen. He resisted the urge to reach up and touch the side of his angelic face, or the soft strands of his fiery pink hair, or his wet, pink, pouty lips. He bit his lip to stop himself from getting lower and kissing the man when his eyes dragged at the other one's lips.

  
"Hey." Ocean blue eyes opened under the blond curves of eyelashes and a whisper came out of his lips.

  
Oh no. Chad's eyes shot opened and he panicked, wanted to turn around and run. Oh no no no no no. How could he ever gonna leave?

  
"I thought you didn't come." The lips moved again, and god, Chad missed this voice. "I listened for fifteen minutes and still couldn't find your voice."

  
"You..." Chad finally found his tongue. "You were awake when they came in?"  
"Yeah." The pink haired man smiled. "I was about to open my eyes, but Shar shrieked, and I fainted a little."

  
"She didn't shriek, she was telling everyone to be quiet." Chad didn't know how only a smile could calm him down this fast.

  
"You weren't here with them." Ryan blinked his blue eyes at Chad, and he could see the sadness inside the color. "Were you just...leaving?"

  
"I..." Chad lost the ability to think, so he spoke what was on his mind right then. "I just...wanted to look at you before you wake up and I'll go..."

  
"You really hate me that much?" Ryan lower his gaze, a smile so sad Chad just wanted to came closer and kiss it away. He was sinking lower and lower back into Ryan's arms and the determination he had left was getting less and less every second.

  
"I... I don't hate you." Chad babbled, desperately trying to gather back his willpower. He couldn't stay. He would hurt Ryan again. But his mouth kept pouring out his deep, dark emotions, and he was exposed more and more. "I miss you, Ry."

  
"Then why did you have to go?" Ryan's hand caught his sleeve, and he squeezed it tightly in his palm. Blue eyes opened wide at him, pleading, and Chad's logical reasons melted into nothing. The hand on his sleeve moved down to touch his bare hand, and the warmth was like electric running from the touch up his spine, shutting his brain down.

  
He bent down and kiss Ryan's lips, the movement so spontaneous the other one didn't have time to breathe in. Or maybe it wasn't that spontaneous, because the man's arms were wrapping around his shoulders and held on, fingers gripped so tight his knuckles turning white. His delicious scent suddenly drowned Chad's senses, surrounded him and curled into his every core, bringing with it the familiar warmth that he had been desiring for forever. It's like he was flying near the burning sun and suddenly fell down the sea, the feelings of the water pressed against him, making him unable to breathe. The taste of Ryan's soft lips, his tongue and the wet insides of his mouth was so mesmerizing Chad couldn't stop himself from keep tasting it, licking it for more and more. He could feel Ryan gasping between every kiss, and he got closer, pressed his body gently up the hot flesh and touched, caressed everywhere. He devoured the man's mouth ever so tenderly, in the fear of breaking him, but dying for the friction. They kept diving into each other's warmth like that for a long time, until Ryan let go of him, and broke the kiss away.

  
Chad looked at the man in shock.

  
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have..." Ryan was breathing hard, and the sound of the heart machine sped up. He looked away. "I promise I won't keep you. You can... you can go wherever you want, I won't..."

  
Chad touched his hand gently on his cheek, and Ryan leaned against it, closed his eyes. Chad saw tears pooling up in the corner of his eyes, and he quickly kissed the droplets away.

  
"No, don't cry. I'm sorry for leaving you." He feared he could leave the man again and hurt him harder. But now looking at the face in his palm, nipping at the soft skin... he didn't think he could ever leave again. "I won't. I'll stay with you, I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere."

  
"You..." The other one opened his eyes and looked at him. "If you only wanted to stay because I was dying then it won't work. If I had to get stabbed everytime we fight so you could come back..."

  
"No." Chad kissed him again. "I won't leave. I choose to stay here not just because you were in danger, do you understand me? I forgive you. Everything. And I'll be with you through it. I can't leave you to face everything alone again."

  
Ryan's voice was shaking. "...Really?"

  
"Yes." Chad held him tight in his arms again. "Really."

  
He buried his face into the crook of Ryan's neck and breathed in, held him like it was his last day in this world. So he might not have seen Troy and Robb walking into the room, chatting cheerfully with each other. And the might not have seen them staring, frozen at the threshold. And he might also not have seen Ryan's death glare intimidated them, and they quickly got out of the room. Or he would have laughed.

  
.  
.  
.

  
"Excuse me, mister, are you a family of Mr. Ryan Evans?" A nurse tucked the hem of his shirt on his way from the cafeteria to Ryan's room in the hospital, and he turned around.

  
"Yes, I'm with him. Is there something wrong?"

  
"Nothing is wrong, sir." The girl shook her head and put a bouquet of flower in his hand. "It's just another gift from a fan to Mr. Evans."

  
Oh, that. Chad smiled as he took the bouquet. After the news of Ryan's successful operation was announced, gifts and flowers flowed to the hospital even more fiercely, drowning the staff in a sea of colorful boxes and flowers. It's usually that Mr. Evans, Vance Evans, took care of the gift crisis, he would share the flowers and presents to all of the other patients and staff in the hospital (with Ryan's approval, of course) and only leave some in the room of his son. Chad wouldn't imagine him to be such a kind and generous man. Not generous in a rich, spoiled, shallow kind of way, but generous in a thoughtful, gentle and caring kind of way.

  
He wasn't mad at Chad either. After Ryan's family came in to know he was awake, he told them about Chad and his wish to be with him. Sharpay was still angry, but her brother fluttered his puppy eyes at her and suddenly every problem was solved. The others were all happy to see Ryan happy. And for the first time in forever, they saw him kissing someone with such a sunny smile. Robb, Troy, Gabriella and Kelsi wanting them back together was something unquestionable, but he couldn't be more glad to see Vance and Derby's approving nodd. They didn't know enough to forgive Chad, but they know more than to let Chad stay anywhere near Ryan. And still, they let their son decide what he would do. Well, apart from that growl, " _Hurt my son again and I'll show you something worse than a suicide_ ", Chad was completely approved.

  
"My shift is kinda busy right now, do you mind bringing the flowers to Mr. Evans' room for me?" The nurse asked, and he nodded.

  
"Sure."

  
She hurriedly walked away with a stack of paper in her hand, and Chad brought the flowers near his nose to breathe in the scent. Ah, red rose. Delicate move, fan. Freshly cut and, hand wrapped in the brown paper of The Glass House flowershop. He looked around the bouquet to find a card, and a yellow sticky note smashed into his vision.

  
_Ryan Evans sends his regards._

  
Oh no. Chad dropped the bouquet and ran to Ryan's room. He had seen this note before. Stick on a bouquet that looked exactly like this one. From a camera.

  
"Chad, get out!" The blond's shout was too late.

  
Chad burst into the room and the tall, dark figure quickly grabbed Ryan, one arm held around his throat from behind and the other put a gun to his head. Chad froze in his place.

  
"Ooh, look at the knight in shining armour coming to safe you, little fairy." The man's face split open a shark-like grin. "Not an inch closer, knight, or I'll blow your lover's head up."

  
Chad raised both of his hands into the air, stayed still. He spoke slowly. "Let him go. We'll give you whatever you want."

  
"I think you're mistaking me with some thugs here." He man grinned wider and tighten his arm around Ryan's neck, dragging him off the bed. "I'm Joff Garcell, and I'm sure you know what I want."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I'm just in love with cliffhangers.  
> Aren't we all?


	35. Of a knight in shining armour

Chad eyed the pink haired man through the corner of his eyes when he slowly picked up the handcuffs on the ground and closed one around his wrist. Ryan was still weak from the recovery, and he must say this asshole chose the perfect opportunity to carry out his plan. If it had been any other time, he could resist so much more fiercely, and those arrogant dicks might underestimate Ryan, but they wouldn't know how dangerous he could be when back was against the wall. Chad thought when fighting for his life, the man could tear off the flesh of his enemies with his teeth or something worse. That's nearly what he did the first time he encountered Garcell, Chad remembered one of the witnesses said they saw him cut a long wound on the asshole's face with a piece of broken glass on the ground that was in his reach when he was pushed through the door of a shop. And he did that with one hand wrapping around the blade an inch away from his chest. Chad could still see the long cut on the guy's face from this distance, and he glared at the shark-like grin. Calculating bastard.

  
But in this state, no one, he swore, no one in this world could disobey the guy's words. He had just been through the most serious operation, replaced half of his inner organs, and still had to inject painkillers constantly to keep himself from the suffocating pain. He knew that, so he didn't try to fight back anymore: he stayed still, breathing deeply and keeping his hands grabbed tight onto the guy's arm around his neck. He couldn't defend himself before an old lady, let alone a muscular thug with a gun in his head. Everything depended on Chad now, and his head raced to find a way to solve this as quickly as possible.

  
The asshole was about to shot Ryan the moment Chad walked in. He didn't know what was on his mind then, how he thought he could break away from that situation, but thanks to Chad, they could buy some more time and try to find something that could be used against him. The guy pressed the gun onto Ryan's temple as he ordered him to take a pair of handcuffs he took from the cops and threw it on the ground. Chad had to follow exactly what he said, or Ryan would be killed, so he kept his mouth shut and did what he was told, carefully observed the guy's every motion to find a weak spot in his plan.

  
Well, Chad knew what could be used against this dick the moment he opened his mouth, he was just waiting for the right time. His loud, bloating, giant ego. A lot of petty criminal possess this obvious trait, and they were all brought down by their arrogance before they even know it. This one talked too much. He had the opportunity to finish Ryan when he broke into the room and saw him sleeping, but instead, he chose to wake the man up and rant a whole monologue before Chad came in. He didn't just want to kill him off. He wanted him to be terrorized and begged before he die. And doing two things at a time seemed to be too much work for his brain. When his mind was too busy making up words bragging to Chad and Ryan about how he was going to kill Ryan and blame Chad for it, he would soon neglect Ryan, and that would be when he make a move.

  
Remember what you were taught, Danforth, he took a deep breath and looked at Ryan's eyes, now is a good time to use it. He wasn't scared. He was trained for this, a long time ago, but still trained. He could lure the thug to get closer. He cuffed himself to a large metal shelf with countless number of bottles and packs of medicine and medical kits in it. The shelf looked full, heavy and immovable, but he saw the screws near the back of it that were responsible for the structure of the whole shelf, where he could reach around without the guy noticing and break the whole shelf down to free himself. His fingers slowly traced the line of the metal to a screw and started turning it around its base. He just need some way to make this dick let Ryan go. Only a few more feet farther from him, far enough so he could tear his wrist away from the shelf and grab the guy before he shoot Ryan. He shot the pink haired man an assuring look, tried his best to tell him with just an exchange of silent eye contact that he was handling this, and Ryan shouldn't panic. The ocean blue eyes returned his look, and Chad couldn't understand.

  
People when they were put in situations like this, they freaked out. They panicked, they cried and begged and frozen from fear. That was natural. Chad had never seen someone with a gun put on their heads that didn't lose all of their ability to think. He had learnt it, knew it, and never doubted it for a second. But there was no such thing in Ryan's eyes. He wasn't showing his fear. His lips pressed firmly, hands grabbed tight on the arm strangling his neck, and he mouthed. _Get ready._

  
Get ready? Ready for what? What was he trying to do?

  
Suddenly, Ryan's figure collapsed. With the arm and the gun still pushed onto him, he didn't fall, but his body melted like jelly and his eyes shut closed. Chad's eyes went wide with worried, as Garcell laughed maniacally.

  
"Aw, the little fairy couldn't handle it til the end of my story. Too bad. I was getting to the good parts."

  
"Of course he can't," Chad snapped. "You stabbed him and he just went through a surgery. He was recovering and you dragged him from his bed!"

  
"Worried for your lover, boy?" The guy smirked and shrugged. Chad's fingers loosened the screw faster. This dick... "Oh well, guess I have to finish him now."

  
"Don't. Please." Chad gritted through his teeth and twisting the last screw off the shelf. "Please bring him here and let me take care of him. I'll do anything. His family will do anything. Just let me help him. We'll forget it. You'll be free with everything you ask for."

  
"Oh, you think I care about that?" Garcell rolled his eyes, and it was that moment, his arm around Ryan's neck loosen. And Chad broke out of the shelf with a loud crash in time with Ryan bashing the gun off his hand with full force.

  
Ryan was trying to give Chad the one thing he needed, and he took no time grabbing the gun from the air and pointed it directly at Garcell's face. Everything happened too fast. Just a milisecond between the moment Garcell got distracted and now, when the table's turned. Ryan tried to break away from the thug's grasp, but he was still too weak and Garcell grabbed him by the hair to pull him back. He was breathing rapidly - the single move he had made sucked all of the energy out of him as his knees buckled and he trembled, hands came back to close around Garcell's arm.

  
"One step closer and I'll snap his neck."

  
"Can you do it faster than a bullet?" Chad asked, his feet slowly moved. Firing the gun now could be extremely dangerous for Ryan. Especially when he was being used as a human shield for Garcell to make his escape.

  
"Stay there!" The thug shouted, and Chad could feel the fear in his voice. He was unstable. Anxious.

  
His fingers slowly placed on the trigger as he breathed in, and aimed. This was close. He could do it. It's not a risk. He had done this a million times. Now is just a different place. He wouldn't hurt Ryan. Then he saw Ryan's hands dropped down. He stopped gripping on Garcell's arm, stopped trying to get away. He let his hands fall to his side, stood still, and looked at Chad's eyes. _I trust you._

  
Chad pulled the trigger, and Ryan shut his eyes. The sound was deafening. Three shots, a loud thud on the floor, and in a blink of an eye, Chad was holding Garcell down, flipped him on his face to twist his arms behind him and handcuffed him with another handcuff he brought in. Three bullets dug deep inside the thug's shoulder, and Chad turned around in time to catch Ryan in his arms as he threw himself at Chad, held tight and never let go.

  
.  
.  
.

  
"That was like, the third time I almost died this month." The blond muttered when he was finally rescued of his sister and parents' panic assault. Chad had no idea how he managed to get a hair dryer out of thin air, but he was not gonna protest when he could kiss his favorite golden hair. "No wonder Shar and Kelsi freaked out."

  
"Seriously, your family is gonna have a heart attack over this." Chad held the blond in his lap and nipped his ear. It was only three hours after Garcell was officially arrested and he felt like it was a lifetime.

  
Things got extremely messy after he put down the criminal: the securities poured into the room, saw him holding Ryan with a bleeding, handcuffed thug on the floor. Fifteen minutes later, his parents, Sharpay, Kelsi and Robb marched into the room to hug him and cry another rainstorm. Chad let the man have a moment with his family, and came back to see them waiting for him. It was awkward, saying things that only an hour ago, they wouldn't believe they could ever say. Vance and Derby gave him a grateful hug, and she even kissed him on his cheek with a sob. And Sharpay, well, she got closer and bit her lip as she struggled to say a thank you and hugged him too. He could hear her relief sigh when she hugged him and knew her brother was finally safe. _Ryan wouldn't have survived that if it wasn't for you,_ was what Kelsi said, and he smiled. _Sharpay wouldn't say it, but everybody knew it and was forever grateful._

  
The whole thanking thing was great, Chad admitted, but in the end, he just wanted to spend some time with Ryan. So after asking for some privacy, they decided to sit on the hospital bed and cuddled, leaving everything behind their heads. It was so long since they last touched each other, and the feelings of finally being in the arms of your significant other was bizarre. None of them could get enough of it. They kissed, caressed and held each other, leaned on each other and whispered sweet nothing into their ears. Something that both of them missed, but couldn't realized how much they truly desire for it until they finally be together. Sometimes Ryan just broke out of their never ending kiss to look at the man in front of him, and secretly thanked whatever god in his head for giving this man to him. And he would laughed, repeating over and over again. _I_ _trust you. I trust you_.

  
"You risked too much, trying to push the gun away to me like that." Chad licked his lips. "I was handling everything fine. You could have hurt yourself."

  
"Yeah, right." Ryan grinned as he sucked back.

  
"I was saying that seriously."

  
"And who would know you could fire a gun so smoothly anyway?" The blond curled under his chin.

  
"Graduated New Mexico's Academy of Police, Class of 2015." Chad shrugged, looked up the ceiling. "Almost make it into the real force."

  
Ryan glared wide eyed at him, and reached up to hit him on the head. "You graduated the Police Academy and you decided to become an office worker?!"

  
"I was too...reckless, they said." Chad muttered. "Didn't matter before when I was playing basketball instead of holding guns against people."

  
Ryan grabbed the front of his shirt to suck at his tongue hotly. "God, now I have to decide between a hot cop and a hot basketballer. So unfair."

  
"Choose me and you'll have both."

 

_**~ fin. ~** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys want an epilogue about Chyan's happy family life or you prefer letting it end here like this? Comment below and I'll fill the request.


	36. Epilogue

Robb walked into the room early in the morning, thinking the rest of the family living in this apartment was still asleep, only to find a blond making breakfast on the counter while humming to a song he didn't know. Probably something Kelsi wrote. It's already been three months since he really fit into this newly made family, but everything was still so strange to him.

 

 

First, it was about the whole concept of family. His old family, with his biological mother and father was not like this at all. They were still rich, though, richer than Ryan, and the mansion he lived in was like, five times larger than this. But never had he felt so much love and warmth in a house like he was living in right now. His parents were heavily homophobic, and he had hidden his real sexual orientation since he once told his father about his crush on a boy when he was ten and got hit so hard the bruises last for months. They were careless, cold, cruel to him, abused him emotionally, and he got used to it for so long he almost forgot what it felt like to be loved. And this weird, raibow-bursting new teenage family was more of a real family than he ever had. He now had a passionate, inspiring and competitive basketballer, who was also his coach at school to be his new daddy, the one that accepted him, cared for him and was currently the first line competitor for the award The most bitchy and sarcastic fairy of the year. And he also had this flamboyant, blond singer, actor and choreographer, as straight as a basketball man as his mommy, who was the defending champion of the said award. This man taught him a lot about facing the world with his new sexual identity, gave him advice, guided him through every problem he needed help to deal with. And then he had this tiny musician aunt next door who was incredibly talented with her work, who supported and loved them unconditionally, and had dinner with them everyday. He also had to mention this scary twin aunt dropping for visits casually, who looked exactly like his mommy, with blond hair, blue eyes, overload fabulousity and the undeniable protective nature. She was more intimidating than Ryan, though, and kinda bossy, but he knew from the inside, she also loved this ridiculous family with all her heart. This funny combination of everything had overwhelmed him for a while before he could really get use to it.

 

  
Second, well, he didn't think Ryan was a blond. He somehow never noticed how his eyebrows, eyelashes and the hair on his arms and legs were golden colored before. Seeing Ryan changed his hair from the bubble gum pink color into the natural blond everytime he came home to his new little family was like some kind of magic. And even though Ryan was still the playful, confident, firey man he always saw, this hat-wearing, blond man was like a whole new side of him that he only revealed when Chad came into his life. They came back to be the old bickering but sickeningly sweet and caring married couple he saw from the studio, and he had to admit, it was adorable.

 

  
Third, the most amazing one, was the fact that Chad was now the new coach of his high school basketball team! He had to wait until the end of the previous championship though, cause it happened the exact time all the drama came up, but now Robb could finally be certain about his chance of having a basketball scholarship in NYU. He came out to the team along with his parents, so basically everyone in his world knew about his sexual orientation, and maybe some of the teammates were still stiff, but overall he was totally accepted and welcomed. Anyone who openly protested, well, got kicked off the team by Chad. He had clearly announced a new rule about fighting against discrimination to the team, and got rid of all the people that was against him being gay and black at the same time. He improved amazingly fast, had a lot of fun in practices and games, and couldn't find himself in any place better.

 

  
"You're up already?" Ryan said without turning around, making the teen jump.

 

  
"Jeez! You have an eye in the back of your neck or something, momma?"

 

  
He could almost hear the blond rolled his eyes. "Just sit down on the table. What do you wanna have for breakfast? Want me to spare you some burritos? Omelette? Or the bacon, cheese, sausage and egg combo like Chad?"

 

  
"An omelette sounds nice." The raven haired boy approached the counter. "Here, let me help."

 

  
Ryan smiled sunnily when the boy opened the fridge to get the eggs.

 

  
"So, uh, I heard you're finally fully recovered from the surgery. How ya feeling?" Apart from being absolutely glowing from the sex marathon last night with Chad, obviously.

 

  
"Great. Nothing hurts. I still have to stay away from the dance floor for a while to be sure, though. Have these nasty scars on my torso too, but Chad said those are hot, and I kinda look like Jon Snow, so I don't mind." He kept the smile on his lips as he put his burritos on the plate and started making the omelette for Robb.

 

  
"Speaking of Chad," Robb nervously looked up the ceiling. "You two had fun last night. And this whole week, actually."

 

  
"Real fun." Ryan fluttered his eyelashes at him. "Why, jealous? Still want to take my place?"

 

  
"Not in a million years," The teen muttered. "But, I just wanna ask this, like, does Chad always tops you all the time or do you two switch? Not trying to be nosy, just...wondering. I'm still new to the whole gay thing, you know."

 

  
"Why can't it be _me_ topping Chad all the time?" The other one smirked, and Robb blushed.

 

  
"...Because I kinda saw him fucking you in the men's room the long time ago in the studio?"

 

  
"Damn." Ryan sighed. "Well, we decide who tops by flipping a coin. It was like, the order of gods and fate, and no room to argue with an obvious result."

 

  
"Seriously?!" Robb stared at him. "You two flip a _coin_ to agree who tops?!"

 

  
"I don't know about other gay couple, but yeah, we do that." The blond shrugged. "And anyone topping the previous night has to wake up early the morning after to make breakfast."

 

  
It took Robb a full minute to let the fact sink in. He opened his eyes wide to stared at the sizzling frying pan Ryan was taking poking in with his large wodden spoon. But, but, he saw Ryan cooking breakfast for _at least_ the last five days in a row. _How the hell..._ He turned his gaze up to stared at Ryan's smug face. The blond _winked_.

 

  
"Someone just simply won the sex lottery."

 

  
Robb groaned loudly as he banged his head on the counter top.

 

  
"I wouldn't sing the song _Bop to the top_ if I planned to stay in the bottom forever, sweetie."

 

  
"What is  _Bop to the top_?" Robb arched one of his eyebrows, but Ryan just laughed and brushed away.

 

  
"Why asking about the sex? Find someone already?" The blond turned his attention back into the pan.

 

  
"Well there's this guy from the biology club..."

 

  
"You have a crush on him, or he has a crush on you?" Ryan looked at him.

 

  
"He has a crush on me, but I'm pretty fond of him too." Robb sighed. "But I'm not sure if I accept his confession, our relationship and our... sex life will be promising."

 

  
"Why? From what I heard, biology guys have a lot of experience about human bodies." Ryan chuckled, and Robb shook his head.

 

  
"I'd like to be the girl in the relationship for a while, just, to get use to it, but this guy he's...short. Like, three inches shorter than me."

 

  
"Wow, turning a guy down because he was short, typical basketball guy." Ryan pushed the plate of omelette into his hand.

 

 

"Oh, come on, you know what I mean." Robb followed him to the table.

 

  
"Okay, take out your notebook and write this down, kid, another lesson from your momma." Ryan rolled his eyes as he sat down on the chair. " _Some people like tall men. Some like short men. Some like hairy men, some like bald men. Gentlemen, rough men, ugly men, pretty men,...pretty girls. Most people don't know what they like until they've tried it_."

 

  
"...Okayyy, now you're quoting Game of Thrones on me." The boy narrowed his eyes.

 

  
"Can't you get it?" Ryan slapped his own forehead. "You'll never know, if you never try! Just give him a shot!"

 

  
"Is that a line from the song Chad sang and danced for you?"

 

  
"No! I mean, yes!" Ryan frustratingly groaned. "I mean, that's not Chad's song. I sang it to him first."

 

  
"Really? When?"

 

  
"When I was persuading him to dance in the summer talent show when we were in high school. That's first time we really paid attention to one another."

 

  
"I thought you two did that while playing baseball?" Robb blinked.

 

  
"Yeah. Why, you haven't seen people played baseball, sang a song and danced about it at the same time? And also flirt?" Ryan gestured his hands like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and Robb questioned his own sanity.

 

  
"Okay, okay, I got it." He raised his hands in defeat. "I'll give him a try."

 

  
"I mean, look at Chad. I'm pretty sure he had never thought of liking dancing before he tried it. Or liking being gay before he tried it. Or liking me." Ryan was back to his smug mode again. "But then just a tiny drop of me and he was...hypnotized."

 

  
"This guy, he's gonna be a doctor one day. That's certain. And I don't even know what to do with my life after I graduated, if I gotten myself into NYU." Robb lowered his voice. "I probably will become a basketball coach or something like that. Does Chad ever...feel unsure, or overshadowed by you being a star and he has to take care of a bunch of teenagers?"

 

  
"He told me about it once." Ryan patted the boy's arm. "But if you really want to be with each other, that's not a problem. I love him, and I love seeing him doing the things he is passionate about. I just have to constantly remind him the fact that I loved watching how his face lit up when he got out to the basketball court, even when just to teach you high school kids, or when he talked about basketball. I'm proud of him, I love seeing him doing what he desires, and he should be proud of himself too. I can be famous for both of us. He just needs to be happy."

 

  
Robb smiled at him, genuinely, and started eating his breakfast. On the opposite side of the table, Ryan dug into his burritos, tried to act carelessly, like what he just said was something clearly obvious. But somehow being an actor didn't help, cause he was blushing. Lightly, but still visible. And that made Robb smiled harder, the feeling of his heart melted probably wasn't healthy. Yep, sometimes he hated dealing with tooth-rottingly sweet couples, but hey, these are his mommy and daddy. It's beautiful to know how hard they fell for each other.

 

  
"And, uh, actually I'd never came out to the school before. I just told my teammates, and they spread the news. This biology guy, on the other hand, wanted a serious relationship. I'm not really sure about this one, my school is just full of homophobic dicks and..."

  
"You want my advice on this?" Ryan smirked. Great, he was quoting again. " _Never forget what you are, and the rest of the world will not. Wear it like an armour, and it could never be used to hurt you_."

 

  
That was...quite accurate.

 

 

"And _the lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep_."

 

  
There it is.

 

  
"Hey, gorgeous." Ryan suddenly stood up from his seat with a welcoming grin and walked to the door, where the dark skin, muscular, coming-out-of-a-porno man was standing.

 

  
They kissed sloppily and soundly, and Robb quickly tore his eyes away when he caught the glimpse of pale hands wandering on dark, hard abs. So he missed the sight of those hands caressing the broad chest, groping the hips and rubbing against those abs while the two sucked and licked on each other's mouth. A few long kisses later and Chad chuckled, reached out a hand to grab the wrists of those touchy hands.

  
"Okay, lustful beast," He laughed. "Just let me finish breakfast, and we'll take care of everything else later."

  
"I made you bacon, sausages, cheese and eggs. Just as greasy and unhealthy as you are." Ryan cheekily pushed the smoking plate into his hands.

  
"Lovely." Chad kissed him.

  
Robb looked at them again, and suddenly he wondered. What would be the perfect quote for them, if they got to chose one for each other? Ah, yes.

  
_I am his, and he is mine. From this day, til the end of my days._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is!  
> The fic is finally really finished!  
> Thank you for all of the support!  
> And I just wanna tell you guys that I'm intending to write another Chyan fic, so I hope you'll like it. I'll start it soon enough!

**Author's Note:**

> A comment would encourage me a lot to continue this fic, please leave them as many as you can!  
> Tell me if you like it!


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